This weekend is the BIG GAME. That means lots of snacks and drinks and
elastic pants.
I eat prepared foods.
That means someone else processes my meals and wraps them so I can buy
their expertise and consume to maintain existences.
I avoid (as best as possible) the ultra-processed food.
Ultra-processed foods (UPFs) are industrial formulations that undergo
extensive processing, often involving multiple ingredients and additives. They
are typically highly palatable, convenient, and have a long shelf life.
Fast food – These little boxes popped up on the side of the road
to be tempting for walkers or drivers to stop by their dining establishment for
refreshment at an affordable price. Point to the limited menu on the wall for
the cashier in a colorful uniform with a paper hat may not speak your language.
After an exchange of funds, you were instructed to move to another area where
you received your plastic tray with sandwiches wrapped in paper and greasy spud
strips just momently before were put to heat and presented as a meal. If you
dared to eat in sitting in a booth only moments before held another family had
occupied, was there time to clean or did you take your chances? No one
attempted to use the restrooms.
Fried food – Growing up in the south, frying in lard or fat iron
pan was a preferred preparation for all types of food. The smoked filled the
house and increased the hunger of the diners. Poultry, fish, steak, potatoes
all became a standard on the menu. Pan fried vegetables in a wok came later.
Convenient food – Those corner bodegas where you pop in to get a
lottery ticket and some sugary drink, there is what is described food. Easy to
go bag of chips and beef jerky, there are those wieners rolling on for how long
that can be put in a soft stale bun and covered in cheese whiz. Nothing more
appetizing than that.
Whole food- As opposed to ½ food, these labels are supposed to
indicate healthy. If the bread is brown and has seed in it, it is whole bread.
Have to read the label on noodles or vegetables or what separates it from the
brand names promoted on television.
Omnivore – Eat meat or not eat meat? That is the question. Carnivore
or herbivore? Go to the backyard garden and pull some beans, then shuck them in
a paper bag, boil and serve only to be ignored on the plate. Go out to the hen
house and ring the neck of a chicken and after it spurts blood and runs around,
pluck it, gut it, remove the toes, cover the carcass in flour and slap it in a
pan until golden brown and serve with a biscuit and honey. There is an industry
of herding animals to graze on open lands until put to slaughter, drained,
sliced and diced and ground up for the protein pleasure.
There are some foods I’ve sampled or prepared to fulfill my palate.
Ambrosia, beef bouillon, tomato aspic, calamari, chitins, jambalaya,
fritters, gumbo, hoppin’ john, burgoo, po’ boy, red-eyed gravy, collards, fried
green tomatoes, field peas, succotash, salsa, spoon bread, perloo, Bouillabaisse,
quiche Lorraine, croquette monsieur, boeuf bourguignon, dacquoise, frites,
confit, papillote, cassoulet, soufflé, Paris-Brest, jamon ibeerico, paella,
gazpacho, Espanola, contomate, bocadillos, chorizo, salmorejo, churros, dim sum,
sushi, sweet and
sour pork, kung pao chicken, ma po tofu, wontons, dumplings, chow mien, Peking
roasted duck, spring rolls, moo shu pork, and hot pot, etc. Not
as fond of caviar, calamary or haggis.
Everyone has preferences in taste, like music.
Barber’s Adagio, Stalin’s
manifesto, Ode an die Freude, Chopin
Nocturne in C sharp minor or Richard Berry’s ‘Louie Louie’ in the key of E.
Everyone has a preference for movies, books, artwork, cars, interior
designs, fashion, but cooking and consuming what is placed before you is a life
necessity. Whether you like the taste or not, this is the fuel that keeps your carcass
moving.
Having a kitchen with all the appliances and utensils is a room that
cannot be denied in most abodes. Without one, it is delivery from some far
distant chef or traveling to someone else’s kitchen to eat what they prepare
and serve. Please leave a tip.
Some of the best $65 omelets are prepared at the local greasy spoon due
to repetition and knowing the amount of ingredients needed (like your
grandmother eyed from taste and not a recipe). Other dining experiences are
about presentation and abundance of pampering service in starched jackets and
expansive wine list.
So, for the BIG GAME DAY, looks like the weather will be suitable for a
venture to the Tummy Temple and watch the masses scrabble for the bags of salty
treats and the last of the guacamole fruit. The beer racks should be barren as
will be the paper wipes. Still if there is a bit of sunshine and fresh air and
I can survive getting in and out of the parking lot without being smushed, I’ll
enjoy the show with the purpose of coming home with peanuts, popcorn and
cracker jacks for the yard Monkees. Once safe back home, I’ll open a cardboard
box and check the instructions for heating a frozen pizza that was prepared in
some foreign place at some distant time and after the prescribed wait will roll
a sharp knife over it to divide into triangle slices, cover in farmer john
cheese powder and red pepper flakes as my daily meal.
The day after, I’ll watch the highlights on YouTube and hope the full gut
will empty for another adventure into delicious delicacy delights.