Sports

Not much of a follower of sports but now I can’t waste an hour or two on “Wide World of Sports” on a rainy Saturday. Never rooted for a brand or even understood all the rules, but without sports is like no airplanes after 9/11.

Understanding ‘teams’ are bunches of folks who get together to compete against each other for a shower of confetti and a tin mug.

With the ‘social distancing’ there would be no high fives and group hugs during a celebration which would take the wind out of game. Even chess is too close.

What about baseball? Those guys are certainly far enough apart. Maybe the catcher will have to backup and the umpire will have to go to the backstop and need new glasses. A pop fly will have to be called by one fielder and there will be no sliding into the bag. Plus the dugout will have to spread out, but no one will complain about the game being too slow. You can have a hot dog when you watch on screen. They will fit in the microwave or you can order delivery from the Texas Inn and taste the same. You can walk around in the room hawking peanuts to your kids but they can’t hear you through the headphones. Water down your beer so it taste the same at the ball park and place the money you would have wasted in a jar for the vacation you’ll never take to Disneyland.

Golf seems pretty calm and not too close. Tennis players seem fine for a net divides them. Archery, Bowling, Skiing, Surfing and Curling seem acceptable to the new normal (but keep that guy with the broom away from everyone else).

Let’s talk about the NFL. The sport that earns more than the others and had to spread over from the weekend to the beginning of the week can’t just stop. While there is a World Series (but it is only the USA) and a Final Four, there is only one Super Bowl (check the ratings).

There could still be the basic of the game but the players will have to be further away from each other. Tackling will have to change to flag football. This will also reduce the head traumas and penalty flags. There will be no piling on.

The offensive line will have to spread out from sideline to sideline and other than the center have no real purpose except to run around like rugby. The quarterback can’t get up under the center and will have to yell louder to everyone on the field can hear the call. Huddles will change to emails for there will be no touching.

The defensive line will have to back off two or three yards. The only rushing the quarterback will have to be between the offensive players and then yell “Tag, you are it” to get the whistle to blow. Off sides could move the line back into yesterday?

The kicker is fine.

Not saying this New Normal sport will be as exciting as the gladiators but it will be better than watching tiddlywinks.

The couture boutiques could remove those bulky padded gaudy outfits and refashion the players in classy sportswear or even hi-end suits. The game will be the latest runway catwalk.

Maybe these new times will create some new sports?

The NEW Normal

Oh No!!

Have you looked out your window?

There is another enemy attacking and we can see this one.

The mobile metal machines that have been parked for so long are being covered in a dusting of yellow. The professionals tell us it will only get worse. Where is the curve? When will it end? Where are the daily briefings? What are we to do?

This new invasion will make your eyes water. This yearly elusive enemy will make you sneeze and cough. It is better that you are sheltered in place than go outside for you can’t avoid this pollen plague.

Data

Everyday there are statistics, charts, graphs, analysis, opinions and assumptions based on data. Everyday there is a stream of numbers of who are infected and the numbers of who are deceased. There are worldwide numbers and local numbers. This is the new normal scoreboard.

If all the numbers are assembled from scientific fact or general trends, the general public must make life decisions based on the presentation.

Scare the public with numbers of 2,000 dead or 600,000 dead or 8 billion dead and no foreseeable cure. Do not the elected officials know it is spring and folks are ready to break out?

How will the executive orders keep people from sunbathing on the beach? How will the executive proclamations restrain young love?

I haven’t dwelled into researching the constant changing numbers but who are these people?

What are the locations of the sick? Are they on your block? Have you seen them recently?

The one’s who have ‘passed away’ with a death certificate that states cause of death ‘Cornovirus-19’ must be identified for the obituaries. What is their age? What is their gender? What is their ethnicity? What is the color of their hair?

All-important information to make charts and graphs.

Home Schooling

Having your kids at home during these troubling times is a treat to be remembered. These are times they will tell their grandchildren (hopefully).

Mom (and or) Dad has gone from being a hair stylist, waitress, accountant or newspaper salesman to become a teacher.

It may have been some time since you took Algebra or figured out the proper grammar for a dangling participle, but you have been recruited to take over the lesson plans, direction and testing.

Luckily there is the Internet. Unfortunately there is the Internet.

If your school district has a setup for video or online instructions, sit back and watch your kids become bored (just like they were in the classroom).

If not, as a good responsible parent must pick up the baton and teach your offspring how to be smart.

How you test them and if the school board accepts the results is another question but I’m sure there is an app for that.

The big question is how do you send a discipline problem to the principle’s office? Do you have a yardstick?

At graduation you can have them walk around in their bathrobes and give them a piece of paper.

Chinese

Since this plague originated in China (or at least that is what the President says), what else came from China?

The Chinese invented papermaking, moveable type, the compass, the abacus, porcelain and toilet paper to name a few. Shoot, the Chinese invented gunpowder. Without them we’d have no NRA.

As usual our reaction is to blame someone for this ‘invisible enemy’. The President says it wasn’t his fault, so whom do we blame.

Just like our previous accusations and prejudice of people who don’t look like us or talk like us or have different hair color, remember that person you might think detriment to might not be Chinese, but Japanese or Vietnamese, or Hawaiian (that is one of our states, like the last President).

A virus has no nationality.

Money

Are you checking your retirement plan go down the drain? How are your kid’s college loans? When is your mortgage due? Have you saved up for that (now cancelled) vacation or were you planning on putting it on the plastic? What is in your wallet?

While it seems that the government wants to bail out every man, woman and child; these are all additional loans.

How is your debt now?

What if your plumbing springs a leak or your car gets a flat?

Attire

When was the last time you changed your underwear? Or you socks?

This time of sheltering is like camping when the same outfit will work for days and nights.

You can shake off the sweatshirt you wore yesterday and take a sniff. Not so bad so put it back on.

Who are you going to impress? The cats?

Let’s not talk about personal grooming.

Cooking

Have you learned how to make a menu for the family? How is your innovation in the kitchen going? How many recipes are there for beans and pasta and hamburger?

Eating in makes more dirty dishes. Is there enough soap? It will at least get you to wash your hands.

What is that call-out number?

Social Unrest

While building the airplane in flight, the human species has not seen anything like this in over 100 years (at least in our backyard).

The joy of spring is being restricted. No walks in the parks. No sitting on the rocks by the river. No clubbing or backyard parties with friends. No socializing.

 Now you know how those in the zoo feel.

When the temperature gets hot, the backyard sprinkler will not do it. Why did you go to the beach in the first place? Going to the beach vacation to buy fried fritters and get sunburn?

Maybe the ‘wall’ is to keep us in and not keep them out?

Entertainment

Are you appreciated of those who wear the label ‘artist’? The moviemakers and the television producers and the book authors and the poets and singers and dancers and painters, etc. who you are binging on instead of working at home are now out-of-work.

There are all sorts of videos on the web, but that is not paying the bills. Their second backup jobs were waitresses or Uber drivers or a grip with a book deal on the way.

Please put a penny in the hat. A half a penny will do.

Indulgence

Drinking is a popular and acceptable way to pass the time when there is nothing else to do. Remember Ripple Wine?

The bars, taverns, diners and eateries may be closed but the alcohol bureau is open for business.

Unlike paper products, the booze business is keeping the shelves stocked.

There are virtual drinking parties that get better by the minute and you don’t have to clean up the other person’s puke.

Homes

Prisons, jails, orphanages, old folk’s homes and hospitals should be avoided at all cost. They are all places where people are massed and a breeding site for contagion to spread.

What about detention centers?

Faith

Faith is complete trust or confidence in someone or something greater than you.

If you don’t believe these are stressful times, just listen to the media.

Everyone is confused, full of panic and looking for an answer to the unknown (because we have become so accustomed to the norm). 

Perhaps the faith leaders can give us some direction to get us through?

Things will be better tomorrow. Suck it up and stick it out. We are all in this together (except in confinement).

Bring out your dead.

Watching the clock and the calendar

The officials now say it will be another 30 days. Maybe another 60 days? There may not be a family gathering? There may not be a birthday party? There may be no Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas?

The NEW normal is the Great Unknown. What an adventure it is.

Down to seeds and stems again. Luckily there is delivery or drive-by pickup. Cash only.

Week #2 – Not Over Yet

So how was your second week? Are you starting to look (and smell) like a hippie? Have you forgotten how to tie shoelaces? Getting tired of pasta and beans? Starting to feel carpal tunnel syndrome on your remote control thumb? Understanding why your dog eats the sofa? Excited when you realize it is time to cut the grass?

Are you looking at your partner in a different way than the honeymoon? Are you wondering why you had so many children? Do you answer the phone when it is from the boss? Do you answer the phone when it is from your mother? Do you answer the phone when it is from the bank?

Working @ home used to sound like a fantasy until you have to do it. Trying to figure out a problem without you cellmate assisting you puts a strain on your talents. A coffee break can take an hour then a dog walk and a check of your kid’s mathematics. The same deadlines apply whether you work in your jammies in the bed or if you wear a suit. Still you are getting a paycheck.

For those who are now completely on their own with no paycheck, no health insurance, no meetings or interaction with others; life is a stunner. The car still needs repairs. The children need training (and thus entertainment). The cat needs to go to the vet, but the vet isn’t open. Your wife’s mastectomy has been postponed as ‘elective’ surgery. Your neighbor’s dog just pooped on your lawn.

Then the committee of doctors put on their daily show of praising the President; there is no deadline to this ‘invisible enemy’. The only proclaimed answer is to extend being claustrophobic and wash your hands. We are all in this together. Does that make you feel better?

As the movie list start to look repetitive and the wine supply starting to dwindle, here is a new educational game for the little ones.

It is called: “The Spooky Castle”.

Take all your clothes out of the closet. Tell your kids a spooky story about ghost and goblins and put them in the closet. Turn out the lights and play some scary tunes. The kids were try and figure a way out and their anxiety will grow. Every 30 minutes go by and bang on the door. They will scream. Be sure to put some pillows on the floor for they will wear themselves out in fright. The smart ones will climb on top of each other and get out through the ceiling. Beware of them before you go to sleep.

So now you know this ‘sheltering in place’ will continue, readjust to your new normal.

Learn how to cut your hair. Take up singing together. Learn to sew patches on clothing because you can’t go out and buy another one. Start a ‘Victory Garden’. Keep your kids on a schedule like they had in school. Turn off everything you didn’t have in the office. Keep a diary or journal for later years.

Tomorrow is Monday. It is trash day here, but I don’t have enough trash to fill the bin. Trash day is the excitement for the week (to me) but tomorrow I’ll just wave and say, “Thank you”.

The Daily Pandemic Task Force Briefings

Don’t know if you are taking the time away from the movies and the napping, but I watch these everyday.

These are supposedly are the latest news from the highest knowledgeable people presented to the American public with details we (The People) need to know in this time of trouble.

The stage is set, the cameras are rolling then through the blue door come the President and the Vice President and a bunch of other white people who will re-churn the numbers and praise the President for his direction then take questions they cannot answer.

At first these were at the middle of the day, but have now moved to the early evening after the Stock Market is closed. Some times there is a large group of folks pressed together (not social distancing) on a small stage and some days there are just a few familiar faces.

Now I don’t know about you, but I watch early before the show begins. The chairs are set up, the folks are testing their microphones and camera lighting and there are several people just walking around. At first the room was packed with eager reporters blasting away questions and now only a few seating on every other chair. One day someone brought in the Presidential Flag but there wasn’t enough room on the stage so it was carried back out. Another day one of the lights or microphones wasn’t working right so a ladder was brought in and several of our top-engineering experts fiddled with it.

After a list of numbers of ventilators, gloves and mask being distributed (maybe the government is a ‘shipping clerk’?) there is the pep talk that it will be over soon and if you play by the rules (unless you want the President’s wrath) then passed down to the Vice President (who is the head chef of the 2020 Coronavirus-19 Pandemic Task Force) will hold up the President’s 15-point tips to avoid getting the cooties. I didn’t get mine in the mail and I didn’t get an email to download, but I did get a letter from the President asking for money (beyond the taxes).

I watch these shows just for the momentum misspeak or snide comment that the talking heads will pickup on and analysis for whatever purpose to repeat over and over on the radio.

The strange part is there are no Pandemic Task Force briefings on the weekends. Maybe the corona-virus takes a holiday?

Woo! I stand corrected. They are outside today. Good day to be outside (before the rain). Then another row of folding chairs, but one too many are placed in the front?

Seems to bring out the whole bunch of white folk to sit on the bench ready to be called in.

Why don’t they play “Hail To The Chief” when the President comes out? Everyone stands up?

Starting thirty minutes late (as usual) the same numbers and promises of filling the needs of the American public with one caveat. The models indicate it will be another month until the curve starts to come down.

In other words, plants some veggies, cut the grass and sit back. You ain’t going nowhere for awhile longer.

Well I’ve heard enough for today and will wait for the next episode of “The Corona Virus of 2020 – Life or Death” tomorrow. I’ll go out on the porch and listen to the birds, smell the flowers and watch the sun go down.

In this day of the National Disaster Emergency and bad times:

The sun came out and it was warm. The air was fresh. The birds were singing and bunny was waiting for a blueberry breakfast.

The world has not ended…yet.

A few adventurous folks are out walking their dogs or rolling their babies, all paced out within acceptable personal space. The leaves are showing their awakenings and all sorts of greenery is popping up out of the dirt. What will these become?

The traffic is still slim (no complaints) but being sheltered has not taught any better driving habits. That truck just drove through a red light. There was no traffic coming, but?

Wonder as the sun warms up the season will people stay inside? Let’s see what happens (just like a “quote”).

In the cart lobby there is a personal cleaner wiping down the carts for new parishioners. Reminds me of the guy who hands you a towel in the classy bathrooms. Should we tip?

The shelves are still barren but so are the aisles. Still from all the cardboard boxes, they are trying to maintain the communion.

A big sign tells the traffic that the communal dining area by the deli has been removed due to...well, you know. The paper products aisle still has signs requesting “1 per customer” but there is nothing to choose from.

Something new is blue press down markers on the floor stating the standing line red velvet rope. There are no guards pushing wire carts back but give it time.

The ‘call your order and we’ll stock it and deliver it to your car’ plan seems to be working well. There are lots of new faces pushing dollies (like the bellhops use to take your bags to your room, if you could get a room) around blocking the aisles and causing traffic jams. They should have a flag and a horn on those things.

The pasta shelves are still bare and the meat locker must thrill PETA. The produce looks fresh and the milk is well stocked. There are plenty of light bulbs but I had to search for the orange juice. I’ll avoid the eggs and butter and bread.

The frozen pizza section seems to be restocked, but I’m only here for the essentials. The Coor’s guys are keeping me stocked with cold hydration so it was worth the trip. Plus the cute vendor girl with the great smile said, “Hi”. Life is good.

At the Grab-and-Go checkout, there were more blue aprons than customers. They all seemed frantic with all the new regulations and requirement during these trying times, but they have been through Thanksgivings and snow days. This is a cakewalk.

Saw a new scanner technique yesterday, but did not try it. If it works I’ll be in-and-out in no time. Still I enjoy that brief chatter with the blue aprons or the red vest.

Sooner or later we’ll be hosed down before entering and will have to take a number like the soup Nazi. Yada yada yada.

Home safe and sound and welcoming another new member of the family. Good thing the Tummy Temple keeps me well stocked on blueberries.

Enjoy the sunshine. Maybe have another concert on the porch to an empty audience until the next Presidential Chinese Virus Pandemic Briefing? Don’t forget to wear your scarf.

OK you hypochondriacs...

We know who you are. We’ve been listening to you for years. Every little grip and whine has been your constant sorrow that we’ve had to share.

Now is the time to get over it.

Hypochondriasis is an excessive and persistent fear or belief that one has a serious illness, despite medical reassurance and lack of diagnostic findings that would warrant the health concern.

If a medical disorder is present, the distress and preoccupation exceed what the patient’s physician considers reasonable.

Illness anxiety disorder, sometimes called hypochondriasis or health anxiety, is worrying excessively that you are or may become seriously ill. ... Or you may believe that normal body sensations or minor symptoms are signs of severe illness, even though a thorough medical exam doesn't reveal a serious medical condition.

“Hypochondriacs become their symptoms. ... “Many of the symptoms that hypochondriacs feel are often physical sensations caused by anxiety or depression that can go along with hypochondria. The constant worrying can release harmful stress hormones and do real physical damage.”

Hypochondria and the heart: why paranoia might be killing you. New research shows that people who have high levels of anxiety about their health are more at risk of heart disease. ... Doctors may have to start taking hypochondriacs more seriously, new research suggests.

“Encourage [the suffering person] to verbalize fears about their health, but don't join in. Be supportive, but don't show too much concern and try to stay neutral in your answers. Express that you understand their struggle, without encouraging their obsessive thoughts,” say experts.

Don’t dwell on illness. Encourage them to verbalize fears about their health, but don't join in. Be supportive, but don't show too much concern and try to stay neutral in your answers. Express that you understand their struggle, without encouraging their obsessive thoughts.

We’ve heard all the chatter. We’ve heard the aches and pains (we all suffer) and even your relatives medical problems. We’ve heard your recommendations for cures of pills and potions and mystical lotions sold by traveling medicine show or infomercials.

We all know what aspirin does for a hangover. We all know how to apply a band-aid. We all know we itch when mosquitoes suck our blood and it hurts to step barefoot on a Lego.

These everyday familiarizes don’t have to be the topic of conversation. If you come across some miracle cure, we might all listen but you are no doctor so why take you recommendation?

Even seeing a ‘real’ doctor, you have to explain your pain and from their experience or Rolodex offer an opinion of a possible solution. If that doesn’t work, come back and try something else.

Even ‘healthy living’ is no insurance to stay away from a car crash or a gunshot. Eat too much, drink too much, abuse drugs, mental distress, etc. can be rational decisions or the roll of the dice.

This ‘life’ thing we take our chances and do the best we can.  Good luck.

“Time to take my temperature again. Yikes! 98.7!! Hello Emergency 911?”

Sacrifice

Sacrifice is the offering of food, objects or the lives of animals or humans to a higher purpose, in particular divine beings, as an act of propitiation or worship.

These are trying times, but how much have you sacrificed?

There was that run on t-paper and the panic to see who could get the last of the pasta and beans, but from what I saw, if they didn’t have my favorite tomato, I picked another one.

Now that everyone has been told to stay home and sequester, you can sleep in late, walk around in your undies, make all sorts of bodily noises, eat junk all day and drink all night. Everyday is a holiday with nowhere to go and no one to please.

Sure, you are supposed to be working from home but you won’t do any more than you did in the office. Log on to look active and every now and then change a window or refresh the screen between Hulu movies and YouTube viral videos.

Of course you are sacrificing your sanity with all the family crammed into the same space. Like a vacation at the beach when it rains, there is no distraction except television.

This time it is different.

There is no time limit on how long this will last.

Maybe 14 days and the clouds will part? Maybe it will be by Easter when the churches can be full again? Maybe when the Lord says, “Last Call!”

Until then you have time you never realized while discussing last weekend’s game or last night’s fantasy series with office mates around the water cooler. Being alone from humanity is different.

So you are in confinement with all your relatives trying to find a way to exist. Your cupboards are full of whatever you could hoard before the frantic mobs and pizza delivery is on speed dial. How much can you eat?

In this modern age of glowing screens and remotes there is a never-ending array of adventures to view. Get lost for hours watching how tomato paste is made or how to build a deck or fly a hang glider. Continue to scroll what others have posted and you mind can glaze over until the next meal.

With additional time that has always been fleeting there is no excuse for not exercising. Gym closed? Sit-ups and push-ups can be done on the floor with no equipment or trainer. A five-mile walk in the sunshine will help your entire body and it doesn’t have to be a race. You might just notice the tulips blooming.

There are sacrificing to this challenging time.

The bars are closed. The restaurants are closed. The movie theatres are closed. The museum is closed. All the festivals are cancelled.

There is no place you can gather.

More than that, all the shops are closed.

You will have to wear the same clothing because you can’t go shopping for the latest trend. The same pots and pans and silverware you are becoming familiar with cannot be replaced except by online delivery. Dusting off cookbooks with secret notes from granny is like reading algebraic formulas.

I don’t know what you do when in solitary with your kids?

Your car is full of cheap gas but there is nowhere to go. You tummy is full of food, but the grocery is still open. Your friends and family are as close as a dialup and you can hang-up when tired of talking. What have you sacrificed?

Take a step back to those who months ago were celebrating Valentines and now find them out of work with no paycheck or insurance. The old folk can’t escape the ‘invisible villain’ but they didn’t have a chance anyway. The young ones are unaware of the magnitude of a pandemic and the pets have no idea why everyone is home.

This may only be the second week of a continuing drama.

The hospitals might be overwhelmed. The grocery might start to ration like the last big war. Families might have to start Victory Gardens to survive. The water, gas and electricity might have ‘brown outs’ or ‘black outs’.

There may be no Forth of July fireworks or Thanksgiving dinner. They may be no Christmas.

When those fourteen pair of shoes wear out and there is nowhere to buy another, which is a sacrifice much other the rest of the world endures everyday. All those celebratory tee-shirts can be worn everyday until they appear punk. With all this loose time, you can take the scraps and sew a quilt. Do you want to wear those ties or scarves or jewelry? Who will they impress?

With all this down time you can put on your exercise garments (if they still fit) and form a family workout session or you can just ask for the remote while opening another bag of chips.

The fashionable attire standard will drop to comfort clothing. Old routines such as shaving or showering will become less of a daily routine as long as there is air freshener. Manicures and pedicures will become a personal cleanliness process if you can touch your toes. Stylist perms and waves and trims will turn into mop-tops or bad hair days no matter how many combs and brushes you have.

Seeing your neighbors without makeup at the grocery will become a familiar look. When all this ends we can go back to powdering and painting our faces to appeal to each other.

Being quarantined inside four walls certain ‘odors’ will start to fill the space. Luckily one of the symptoms of this ‘invisible enemy’ is lose of smell and taste. That will be a plus when every meal contains spam or tofu.

Will this become the new cultural change? Maybe the new style will be scrubs, mask and plastic shields? Rubber gloves will get hot in the summer (remember Climate Change?) but we’ll get used to it.

If this social distancing last, will we lost our interest in community? Isolation could be our sacrifice to society?

What if there are no more family gatherings? Birthday parties? Weddings? Office meetings? Dating?

What if living within your assigned abode becomes the norm? Only communication through a thin wire must be keyboarded? When the power goes out, you are alone.

You are sacrificing commutes. You are sacrificing sports bets. You are sacrificing meeting co-workers. You are sacrificing speeding tickets. You are sacrificing being judged for wearing that outfit. You are sacrificing communal interaction.

The Dating Dance

It is an interesting time of life. The time you pick our your friends and the time you pick out your partner.

For me it was Middle School. That is the time between Elementary School where you just did what everyone else did and you were told what to do and when and just followed instructions and High School where you were making a style for yourself.

Middle School exposed you to organized sports and shared showers, working with power tools, artwork beyond play dough and dancing. Clothing styles and haircuts were starting to make an impression and girls started smelling sweet. The library of reading expanded from pulp comics to mystical philosophy and faith questioning. Filthy words your grandmother would not approve were spewed out along with the first cigarettes and alcohol.

By the time high school rolled around, everyone was looking to be in a couple. Just like an invitational dance, finding the right partner was never easy.

It is an awkward time of half flirtation and partial intimidation to ask another out on the dance floor. A shy rejection could be a life changer. Maybe a one-dance wonder before the search continues.

Friends point out selections and prod a question to scared to ask, for now friends were the stimulation. Girls and boys would hug the walls and giggle and blush at a stranger asking them to walk out onto the floor and be seen together.

When that person made the same moves and enjoyed the wailing of arms and kicking of legs with a joy only the music could sing to, you’ve found your date.

He or she might not be your first choice. They might not be the most stylish or popular or even preferable, but the two of you worked well together on the dance floor.

When the song is over, you both don’t want to leave alone. Get a cup of punch while your friends point and laugh, but it doesn’t matter. There will be another song.

It is an interesting game of ‘tag’ until the music slows down and the bodies get closer. That is when the magic happens.

This one moment may turn into a lifetime of dreams or just a memory.

It is a life adjusting time and should be appreciated.

Bow and curtsy.

Thank you for the dance.

Being The Boss

I’ve held several titles. I’ve overseen groups of people. I’ve hired and fired employees. I’ve given raises and disciplined.

I was never the BOSS!

The BOSS is the top person. The one who signs the checks? The one who mortgages the building? The one who gets all the governmental requirements for operating a business?

The BOSS is the one who is called if the building is burning down. The BOSS is the one everyone turns to for directions in time of despair. The BOSS is the one who ultimately makes it or breaks it with an idea.

The BOSS knows all things. The BOSS knows how to prepare the latest recipe and unclog the sink. The BOSS can un-jam the copier or know the person who can. The BOSS is the one who approved the coffee machine and who is called on when the elevator is stuck.

That is what makes he or she The BOSS.

In these challenging times, The BOSS has to make some troubling decisions. Close a profitable business and lay off competent and dedicated workers with no promises of being rehired. The BOSS has to look at stockpiles of inventory, orders accepted that cannot be met and request from suppliers that will never come.

The BOSS has to look at the balance sheet without knowing the length of this quarantine and try to make plans for the unknown future.

The BOSS has a family (just like all the employees now out-of-work) and must adjust a lifestyle based on savings instead of income.

It is tough being the BOSS.

Curfew

A curfew is an order specifying a time during which certain regulations apply. Typically it refers to the time when individuals are required to return to and stay in their homes.

Such an order may be issued by public authorities but also by the owner of a house to those living in the household.

I remember curfews from the college of William & Mary. My soon to be betrothed lived in a dorm. We’d hang out all day and wander those beautiful grounds and the fantasy town but came a certain time and she had to go back to the dorm and could not come back out until the next day.

From the time I could adventure, I don’t remember being on a curfew. Most of the time I was in my room so I figure my parents just assumed I was up there. Then again maybe they just forgot about me.

By college there was no timeline (even though I was living at home because I couldn’t find a roommate) but her curfew upset me. We were ‘almost’ adults and should be able to control our comings and goings.

Never had kids so don’t know how I’d establish a curfew?

Martial Law On a federal level, only the president has the power to impose martial law.

In each state the governor has the right to impose martial law within the borders of the state. The law applied in occupied territory by the military authority of the occupying power.

The law administered by military forces that is invoked by a government in an emergency when the civilian law enforcement agencies are unable to maintain public order and safety.

  Typically, the imposition of martial law accompanies curfews; the suspension of civil law, civil rights, and habeas corpus; and the application or extension of military law or military justice to civilians. Civilians defying martial law may be subjected to military tribunal (court-martial).

The martial law concept in the United States is closely tied with the right of habeas corpus, which is in essence the right to a hearing on lawful imprisonment, or more broadly, the supervision of law enforcement, by the judiciary. The ability to suspend habeas corpus is related to the imposition of martial law. Article 1, Section 9 of the US Constitution states, “The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.”

There have been many instances of the use of the military within the borders of the United States, such as during the Whiskey Rebellion and in the South during the Civil Rights Movement, but these acts are not tantamount to a declaration of martial law. The distinction must be made as clear as that between martial law and military justice: deployment of troops does not necessarily mean that the civil courts cannot function, and that is one of the keys, as the Supreme Court noted, to martial law.

In United States law, martial law is limited by several court decisions that were handed down between the American Civil War and World War II. In 1878, Congress passed the Posse Comitatus Act, which forbids U.S. military involvement in domestic law enforcement without congressional approval.

A lockdown is an emergency protocol that usually prevents people or information from leaving an area. The protocol can usually only be initiated by someone in a position of authority. Lockdowns can also be used to protect people inside a facility or, for example, a computing system, from a threat or other external event.

Of buildings, a drill lockdown usually means that doors leading outside are locked such that no person may enter or exit.

A full lockdown usually means that people must stay where they are and may not enter or exit a building or rooms within said building. If people are in a hallway, they should go to the nearest safe, enclosed room.

Remember when the assistant principle caught you outside of class without a ‘hall pass’? An authority figure sends you to punishment because you’d broken curfew.

When the troops hit the streets and the bull horns tell everyone to stay sheltered and not come out for any reason, best pay attention. The bogeyman is out and you’d best pay attention. No questions asked. Shoot on site.

We haven’t gotten there yet, but the anxiety in our minds and the rumors on the network will create panic in the streets.

Murphy’s Law. A rule that states, “If something can go wrong, it will.” An addition to this law reads, “and usually at the worst time.”

The identity of “Murphy” is unknown, but the saying was first used during the 1940s and may have originated with members of the armed forces in World War II along with my favorite “SNAFU”.

Time For Spring Break

Since the kids will be out of school for a while… it is time for Spring Break!

Spring break is a vacation period in early spring at universities and schools that started during the 1930s in the United States and is now observed in many other countries as well.

Spring break is frequently associated with extensive gatherings and riotous partying in warm climate locations such as Daytona Beach, Florida and Cancun, Mexico, attended regardless of participants’ educational standings.

As a holiday it is variously known as Easter vacation, Easter holiday, April break, spring vacation, mid-term break, study week, reading week, reading period, or Easter week, depending on regional conventions.

This year is different.

Everyone is out of school for who knows how long and the warm weather is here and the testosterone is flowing through the veins of those who are too young to know and old enough not to care. It is Par-tay-Time!

Stripped down to the skivvies and fueled on alcohol this is time for youth to take the big leap from being a little kid to being a bigger kid. This is the time to be invincible.

Parents with the best of intentions to their offspring will not be able to corral these cats. No news briefings or presidential advisement will calm the born to be wild.

Clear the beaches but like the immigrants and the homeless and the refugees where are you going to put all of them? The hotels are being used as hospitals. The school dorms are closed. Are new detention camps the answer?

I never went on Spring Break. I was either taking make-up classes or working. I certainly had the same urges of those I watched on television.

I also didn’t go to the prom.

WEEK #1 – The New Reality

Discloser: I’m used to isolation. I’ve been quarantined for years so welcome to my world. What follows is how the last week of a ‘New Reality’ has seemed to a hermit in the woods.

How did you do on this first week? Being at home with the family? Never getting out of your jammies? Attending Face Time meetings while eating cheetos? Telling your kids to read a book without restricting their screen time?

My recollection of this past week has been the radio announcements. The daily governmental briefings that are always late telling the American public to wash their hands followed by talking heads analysis every word and phrase and body movement in medical or political terms will better inform our understanding of the spreading cooties.

Seems the kids don’t mind as kids are invincible and at a certain age full of testosterone and just want to boogie down. Close the bars? They will get booze. They always have. Besides this is the time they will have tales to tell their children.

The GIGANTIC SNOW-DAY rush at the Tummy Temple was amazing. That was the first time I saw the meat locker empty. Do people have that many freezers? I applaud the staff maintaining the long lines of anxiety with professionalism even thought they were exposed to more than 10 at a time.

The panic in the air has cut back on traffic (and that is fine with me) and everyone on the block is parked as if everyday was Sunday. It must be the digital age for no one is outside. A few will run out, cut their grass then run back inside. The WiFi is getting slower but the list is much longer than before. A few folks are out walking their dogs and the dogs don’t know. It is good to be a dog.

Sure this ‘cootie’ thing has changed the world. Timeline reports show the numbers of those who have been tested ‘positive’ and those who have croaked. It is a database.

Everyone complains there are no testing or limited testing while lining up in a drive-thru line getting your temperature taken and a swab up your nose. Would you like fries with that?

If you do get a test and pass ‘positive,’ then what do you do? There is no serum or potion or elixir or magic lotion to save you from (possible) death. It is a virus and no matter how many times you take your temperature, it will run it’s course and you will feel better…. Or you will die. (That is by 3/22/2020 2:27PM)

So let’s talk about that dying part.

I (personally) have made my amends with my maker so if a house was to fall on me right now, I’m OK with that. This aspiration virus doesn’t sound like a good way to go, but we all don’t get our choices.

Yet we (as a culture) are afraid of death. It is the unknown. We aren’t afraid of history. These were times before ‘we’ had life, so why be afraid of life after death?

Now think about your mother.

Don’t know how close you are (were) to your mother but she was just part of the family. That group you were quarantined with through your early years.

Your mother was that one who brought you into this ‘life’ business so you had a bond. She had food supply that your father, brothers, or uncles didn’t have. What about your father? You carry his family name, but your mom is from your species. These people interact but your father is the only one who sleeps with her. Oh!!

See what happens when you are alone?

Other than the comical GEO of the nation, there is music to listen to. Music is always available and always good. Whatever your taste or liking, music can sooth or excite. You can listen through headphones and be lost in other worlds. You can blast the speakers and wake the neighbors. Since you have time on your hands, you can learn to play the piano (or kazoo).

So what was remarkable about the past week?

I don’t have any kids to try and educated with ancient learning or walk the dog, so my world is pretty normal.

Go to the Tummy Temple with the same route at the same time everyday. There are the usual staffs that recognize you because of the frequency and other than the empty shelves; the products needed are in the usual place. The Colorado spring keeps providing hydration and the exercise get to and fro provides exercise.

This week’s good deed was to give a vendor girl with a great smile a pair of gloves. She’s cute so I say “Hi” when I walk by. She had complained about working in the frozen food section. She said the gloves provided to them kept coming off. I suggested she try some other gloves. The next time I saw her I gave here a pair of my bike gloves. I got a smile. Well worth being kind.

Also tried to start another conversation with an old schoolmate but it doesn’t look good. I’ll try and stick it out, but time will tell.

The weeds are changing into flowers as they poke up and open their faces. The smell of fresh plants is in the air and the birds are having free concerts. When the buffet was opened a new bunny showed up. All good.

This evening I’ll turn off the electronics nonsense and drift off into another movie I’ve written and didn’t know.

Tomorrow will be another day. Rain or shine (Lord willing and the creek don’t rise) and project for the day will be clean up or sleep in or cook a pizza or wash the dishes or answer the phone or comb my hair (after I wash my hands) or check that crud between my toes or meet my buds down at the local pub (!!) or just open a brew at home.

Well see when the future gets here.