Ladders

 

It is the right tool for the right job.

Need to get something above your reach? Need to get down in a hole?

You need a ladder.

There are step stools, extension ladders, wooden ladders and aluminum ladders.

In the summer when home renovations are happening like window replacements or roof replacement or tree trimming or exterior painting, there is a need for ladders.

You can hear them as the white trucks drive up and down the road. Since you can’t pack them in the trunk or fold them up, they have to be placed on top or on a rack in the side secured with bungee cords and rattling about.

A ladder takes up depth but can’t be stuffed into small spaces. They can be leaned up next to the fence or shoved up under the house crawlspace or just stumbled over in the yard.

No what you need a ladder for; you always need another one.

A step stool doesn’t reach what you need; a stepladder is too tall, an extension ladder is so heavy and footstool is too small.

I’ve got many ladders. I’ve got ladders I’ve bought. I’ve got ladders that have been left for me. I’ve got ladders that are scattered through the yard. Painters have left ladders. Power trucks left ladders.

Ladders are too big to fit in a trashcan. Ladders are just awkward to store.

The other day my neighbor was replacing their windows. To do so, required ladders. Unfortunately there was little space between the houses to angle a ladder to climb.

I’ve now got a 25’ heavy-duty extension ladder (left over from painters), a 15’ extension ladder, an 8’ ladder, a 5’ ladder, two double-step stools and a single footrest.

I should be able to reach it, but I’m afraid of heights.

Show & Tell

 

Now that summer break is over, who is going first to stand up in front of the class and tell what they did for the three months?

Did you go on a vacation? Did you go to the mountains and hike up the dirt paths and into the poison ivy and get chased by a bear? Did you go to the ocean and only tip your toe into the water because you know a big shark is out there ready to eat you up? How was your sunburn? What is better than sitting in a sandbox in the wind? Did you travel to another land to see the locals dress up in funny outfits to sell you trinkets and too expensive food that will have its affect on your tummy? Did you have any Karen’s in the airport or better yet, on the plane that you could video on your phone and post on Instagram? Did you get lots of pictures of old broken-down buildings now called relics? How many tee shirts did you buy for the grand kids? Did you visit the ancient sites like museums and gawk at the ruble that used to be mankind or perhaps wander the clean chateau halls of modern creative culture displayed behind velvet ropes? Did you take those long road trips with exuberant gas prices? Could you afford to send your kids to summer camp or just let them stay home with their screens to practice for school? Did you watch your stocks fall? Did you watch your grocery bill increase? Did you go shopping or wait until the Christmas discount sales start? Could you find the product you were looking for or even order online and wait because the ships were backed up in California? Did you decide to take up exercise like walking but found it too hot and decided to stay home and let your dog poop in the neighbors yard? How many apps did you download? Did you read a good book(s)? Did you write a book? Did you go to a festival concert with some second hand wannabe or a left over from a forgotten past to drink warm beer or eat some horrible food from a roach coach? Hope your wore your mask? Who in the family got ill or broken? How long were you on your phone talking to your mother? Did you check your office e-mail? Did you have any forest fires or droughts or floods or hurricanes or some disturbance of the grid from outer space? We zapped that asteroid for three million dollars. Did you take the family out dinning for a plate presentation that cost you more than your mortgage? Could you find a place that was still serving? How much did you tip? What shows did you binge watch? Did you stream the movies the social media recommends to stay up-to-date with the current speaking points? Did you get bogged down in the politics or the invasion of another country but realize we do the same thing and it never ends? Do you know who is running in the midterms? Have you checked your library for ‘inappropriate’ books? Have you discussed with your child’s teacher what the curriculum should be for the following year? Did you take your latest booster shot? How much did you drink? Have you bought a gun yet? What did you cut back to save the environment or is that the other guys problem? How does your water taste? Does your spouse know you are messaging that other person? Are you concerned that you could come under an atomic bomb attack? Duck and cover?? What was the best recipe you found and cooked but it didn’t turn out right? How many loads of laundry did you do? What chores did you put off for another summer? Did you make a new friend? Did you learn another language? Did charge your battery? Did you change the battery in your smoke detectors? Did you write a poem? Did you take your pills? Did you say, “Thank You”? Did you change your hair color? Did you change your identity? Did you change your partner? Did you change your socks?

Now it is getting to the time of lowering the windows and checking the thermostat. The sweaters come out and the little boy pants get put away until next spring when the flowers start to bloom and the birds sing and the entire world is aglow with sunshine.

TEACHER

 

Remember being woke up in the morning to pick up your books and hike to school? Everyone I knew did it.

We (kids) were assigned to a school and at a certain age we walked into an unknown building, given a classroom number, found a desk and sat down all facing a blackboard and a teacher.

Before I begin, I think being a teacher is the hardest job. Everyone I knew going to college was going to be a teacher (except me). It didn’t work that way for all of them, but it was the subject of dinner parties.

I couldn’t take being in a room with 30 kids all day. There are lesson plans to do when you get home, discipline without physical punishment, emotional coping, and answering questions all day while trying to get a message across then create a test to see if the class understood and comprehended what you were saying.

School was not my favorite flavor but I guess I learned something because at the end of my term they gave me a piece of paper and sent me on my way.

Up to time of entering the classroom, kids are supposed to be taught by parents. How to walk and speak and eat and poop is the family duty before attending school. If the child can read and write and sit still, they go to the head of the class.

Then the teacher takes over.

When I was in school, we all had the same books and were taught basically the same information. History, math, science were all fundamental learning. Some of the smart kids took calculus or Latin or astral propulsion, but they were the smart kids.

The parents just expected at the end of the day, their kid would be smarter and with enough homework, not bother them. They didn’t care what was in the lesson plan or the textbook as long as their boy or girl graduated.

Today’s teaching seems to be more scrutinized. What books are available in the library? Is there any ‘sexual’ information provided? Who is filling in history gaps? The elected school board would set the restrictions.

Parents don’t seem to want certain teachings. Some send their kids to parochial schools or have ‘in home’ training, but they are expensive and time consuming.

I had a lot of teachers. Most were women and most were boring. A teacher was just a Monday through Friday preacher reading from a different book.

Yet today, I feel for a ‘teacher’ being accused by parents of stuffing thoughts into their child’s brain. Is that what they are suppose to do?

 

Solutions

 

How do we solve all our problems?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to stop gun violence?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to solve immigration?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to put an end to war?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to solve cultural differences?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to balance the budget?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to cure cancer?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to stop climate change?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

How to solve all our problems?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

 

Resources are the things that are needed to solve the problems. That means doctors and scientist and manufacturers and distributors and accountants… in other words PEOPLE. Some one has to come up with the idea for a solution and others need to test the theory while others need to establish the solution. This will require workspace whether a hospital or a warehouse or some underground security establishing a place for people to solve the problem. That will also require wiring for energy and plumbing for water closets and tables and chairs and HVAC units and windows and… There must also be space for parking lots for the people to drive to work. People will want a salary so they can bring their family to live near by and have schools and churches and recreational centers and grocery and bars. These families will also need health care, childcare and utilities provided. Throw in some fire fighters and police and there will be more resources needed.

 

There are 24 hours to a day. From sunrise to sunset, we have all agreed to a 24-hour day. How that time is used doesn’t change the clock. Will another day or two help solve the problem?

 

Money has to pay for all of this. Someone has to pay for all the research, theories, beliefs, hypothesis, speculations, conjuncture, supposition, premise, assumptions and guesses. Money has to pay for all the needles and serums and the follow-up reviews. Money has to pay for the distribution centers and storage and logistics. Money has to pay for the paper and ink for the reports and those who empty the waste cans. Money ain’t cheap so count every penny.

 

When will she love me?

More Resources. More Time. More Money.

Kermit

 

Yesterday was the normal routine. Up at 7AM, coffee, back to nap until 9AM. Turn on the phone, strap on shoes and turn off all the electronics that have been running all night. Lock the door and head into the woods. Make an inventory of the cupboard and climb upon my trusted pony. Big machinery lines the road where my taxes are being spent on something that needs to be fixed or something new.

The journey was uneventful and as I lock up my parking spot I notice a guy who sweeps up the trash in the parking lot. He speaks to a couple of the congregation and continues to his duty.

I comment to him he has a wonderful disposition and attitude.

I must have a face that says, “Tell me your life story” because he began. He told me of his four sons, two in the police and two in jail. He told me of his three daughters and his fourteen grandchildren. He told me about the autumn season and how he hunts and fish. He told me about his God.

I just wanted to say I appreciate people who have a positive spin on life. His task was not one to be strived for but he was pleasant doing his job.

He asked my name and introduced himself. “I’m Kermit, like the frog”.

I put on my mask and entered the Tummy Temple after a cheerful interaction with another human being. I found a zip cart so things were looking up. I entered the electronic sliding doors and was immediately brought back to reality.

The grumbling women at the deli in their hairnets who look like they are getting plenty of samples of their terrible fried chicken moving in slow motion. Little Kandi sadly pushing a broom, stirring up the dust of the hundreds who wander these aisles. The guy who everyday is situated in the same spot crossing back and forth across the aisle empty boxes and filling shelves with yogurt. The woman who is in no hurry to be friendly looking as if she just got bad news. The little mousy guy looking for a place to hide, never acknowledging any questions or expecting kudos. Pat, using a cart for a walker, marking up prices and complaining. Everyone is here everyday, as I am, and they all look gloom.

The only salvation is the checkout ladies. Katy (who calls me Bunny Man) is usually bubbly. Keith is an overachiever in chatter, but Angela just grunts. Hillary is hiking back and forth with a silly laugh but I’m not sure she is all there.

The latest new face has red hair, long nails and wears a glitter mask that says LOVE. She calls me “Young Man” (because I told her while she is giving me a code to tell technology that I’m as old as I appear on the movie screen and just look 17) and I call her LOVE. We’ll have brief sentence and finish with wishes of having a great day.

The Tummy Temple is just a sample of the world. Different faces push (or pull) their wired carriages searching for substances to keep the children quiet and snack on while binging television. Some are in a rush. Some are taking their time. Very few look as if they are enjoying the adventure in the canyons of grub.

It was nice to meet Kermit. Hope I can see his good vibe continue.

Museum

 

 

A museum is a building or institution that cares for and displays a collection of artifacts and other objects of artistic, cultural, historical, or scientific importance. Many public museums make these items available for public viewing through exhibits that may be permanent or temporary.

The largest museums are located in major cities throughout the world, while thousands of local museums exist in smaller cities, towns, and rural areas.

Museums have varying aims, ranging from the conservation and documentation of their collection, serving researchers and specialists, to catering to the general public. The goal of serving researchers is not only scientific, but also intended to serve the general public.

There are many types of museums, including art museums, natural history museums, science museums, war museums, and children's museums. According to the International Council of Museums (ICOM), there are more than 55,000 museums in 202 countries.

Museums have artistic impressions, crafts, weavings, etches and sketches made through the sands of time. There are even dead bodies. Shown on the walls and glass cases are personal interpretations of what we imagined in books and stories.

Books and movies and documentaries and historical discussions cannot compare with viewing a bowl created thousands of years ago in person.

There are tiny type descriptions on cards that try to expand on the knowledge of the historical piece. If that doesn’t work, there are Tour Guides.

Churches are spiritual museums. Banks are monetary museums. Office buildings are architectural museums.

Now, look around where you live.

This is YOUR museum. All the artifacts of your life hand on the walls and are scattered across the floor and fill the vaults that only you visit.

Take a minute and look around.

How would you describe all the knickknacks and items you view everyday to a visitor?

Why did you buy that oven mitt? Who is in that photograph? What is in your refrigerator? What is in your closet? What is in your bathroom? What is in your trash?

We live in a game of cultural facades to impress others.

When you have a party or guest over, they are viewing your museum. Perhaps a descriptive post note would help tell the story of that table that was handed down by Aunt Helen from great grandmother when they lived on the prairie or that painting you picked up in a yard sales because you like the colors or that jewelry you picked up for a great price on a going-out-of-business sale?

As with any show (museums are a show) there will be critics to evaluate your taste standard.

The personal museum changes with cultural trends, physical moves and perhaps another’s persuasion.

Takes some photos of your interior design and check out how your museum looks.

Some of your historic items might make the display case or might show up in a yard sale. Most will probably go to the dump to be dug up years from now by archeologists who will declare a worthy find for viewing in a museum.

Beware the pennies on your eyes.

Do You Feel Safe?

 

Since the early days our species needed to find food and water and then needed to find a cave to get out of the rain and hide from animals that view us as dinner. Our hands allowed us to throw rocks and sticks, but our real invention to give us protection was fire.

Have we ever felt safe?

 We’ve created weapons of mass destruction so we cannot only murder animals that could cause us harm but we can slaughter each other.

The reason I ask is the local social media that is showing videos of ‘real time’ murders on what is called ‘News’. Since everyone has a camera now, including the police and there are more than enough guns available and no one seems to know how to behave whether it is cold French fries or wearing a mask on a plane (remember Covid 19?) and temper tantrums escalate to weapons being drawn and the talking heads give the body count.

Leaders get assassinated with all their security, innocent children get mowed down, religious congregations are target practice and what I saw today, a person was stabbed for bumping into someone on the subway.

If this is a terrorist tactic to create fear in the public, it works.

Do you park your car on the street or in a lot, hopping it will be there when you get back? Will it be broken into or have it’s catalectic converter missing? Even a flat tire could ruin your day.

How many locks do you have on your house? Do you have motion detector lights or security cameras? Are your windows locked? Do you have a fire suppression system? Does a tall fence surround your yard?

When you walk to the grocery from your car, do you carry your keys in your fist? Do you have pepper spray? Are you carrying a firearm (legally or not)?

When you walk in a room, do you scan the faces and checkout the exits? When you leave a building, do you look around for any suspicious characters before walking to where you hope your car is parked?

Does it sound like paranoia?

Look at the videos (or if you have had a chance to personally view) the Karen’s at Wal-Mart or the road rage over bad driving or just some wackjob giving a sucker punch to some old lady standing in line, seems our society suddenly feel entitled to do whatever they want.

What about your wealth? Do you have it stashed away in a vault or safe deposit box or under your mattress? Do you change the password to your bank account until you can’t remember it?