PLAY-BY-PLAY

What a Wonderful Way to Waste a Sunday Afternoon

It is time for the BIG GAME.

“What big game” you ask and well you may very well be right, but we will experience every moment to see.

After a three hour nap called sleep and a refreshing 36-degree ride to the Tummy Temple, I settle in to watch and report whatever happens today.

So far I’ve seen the U.S. Mail being delivered on a Sunday and didn’t know they did that. The aisles were filled with young women in black tights checking their list and the staff wearing football jerseys. The sun is coming out and the temps are supposed to be in the mid-50s. After opening the critter crewe buffet I see my groundhog checking his shadow (actually a Beau-Beau woke up early and is already feasting).

Climb into my comfy clothes and ready myself for this athletic contest smothered in explosions, talking heads, stats and very expensive commercials. The taxes are done (it is easy when it is the same thing every year) and my other projects for the day is shredding old files and ridding myself of old cassettes (played on a dirty playback machine makes the decision easy). All the fixings’ for nachos await but my tummy isn’t feeling up to it (yet?).

High noon: so let us begin our journey.

LI could be a popular surname in China but we will call it the Lithium Bowl. Yikes! It is already started with a loud white guy in day-glo yellow shoes yelling and then there is this big black man who used to play football yelling and between them some little girl in pink (the NFL uses girls now for eye-candy filler now) as referee. Let us start off with the anger that is sweeping our nation and get everyone in an uproar.

The Falcon’s bus leaves the hotel. Oh the pathos. What excitement is in store?

Beach Boys and the Byrds start the musical soundtrack of the day. Both excellent harmonies except when the tape is dragging slowing down the pitch. Soon followed by Linda Ronstadt, Yes, the Kings’ Men, and Howard Roberts. I will need an ear washing after this.

Now to an empty stadium with more talking heads. Two black guys and two white guys refereed by a blond chick but Walmart hides their shoes.

Wow! Two guys just got handed tickets to the game. That is SUPER.

NRG (power provider) stadium in Houston now presents the stats that nerds will love and newspapers will print but it really doesn’t matter why we are here. We are here to watch huge men bump into each other and knock each other down. We don’t even want to know where the president’s taxes are.

Drink as much beer and you can hold and eat mounds of nasty food until your stretch pants won’t stretch anymore. If you are a manufacturer or an accounting firm or a mom-and-pop retail shop, plan on your employees coming in late, if not calling in sick. This is indulgence day.

Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference in these war bloods and blow ‘em up explosion violent video games and the football promos?

Now we see our first preview of the main characters of the show. Not the football team but the Fox hound celebrities of old football players and a manager refereed by a black sportscaster.

Much singing and flashing lights while the families are gathering in the kitchens and preparing feast while gentlemen start to struggle over which running back will run and who can or cannot catch a deflated ball.

To fill the time there are one-on-one interviews with the ‘star’ players but what about the left guard or the right tackle or the punter? The kitchen smells good.

Check back to the Internet to see if anything else interesting is going on and of course it isn’t. Martians could invade this country while all our focus is on a football game with the reward of a silver phallus and we’d never notice.

Pat’s motto: Do You Job. Not bad for a bunch of guys who have exercised more than most of us will ever imagine and are making a whooping paycheck but only for a few years because other than broadcasting (and you got to be pretty for that) there is no other football out there to retire to.

Kraft gets all teary-eyed talking about the Pats. Will that throw the game?

Should there be a Red Carpet for a football game and an up-date on bus traffic? ‘Fitz and the Tantrums’? How far out of it am I? Put your hands together. Impressions with titles to explain who it is suppose to be? And now the space station does its stick?

Now we are talking, Joe Buck just showed up and Sulu buys a pizza. Oh my? Now an exclusive white house interview with the Golden Boy from Bill O’Reilly’s archives and what is he looking at? The Pats will win by 8? Points. Now there is an interview with the half time entertainer Gag-Gag. What happened to football?

Now we are getting down to it. The coaches and the quarterbacks are interviewed and John Cash is getting us patriotic about our old flag and a couple of commercials for potions that will reduce your pain. Why didn’t they interview the cheerleaders or the waterboy?

Hall of fame class of black players who attended segregated colleges. It is time for more commercials. Think I’ve seen them before?

OK, the Pattycakes and the Falcoons are on the striped turf and ready for another commercial break. Shoot ‘em up sci fi movie, Sulu again, those strange 3-D glasses, promo for a TV series, football in fast cars where if you win you get to drink milk, and a spot for the NFL.

More patriot singing and Belicheck is NOT wearing a ratty sweatshirt. One wonders of all the cables and wires and yes, even Wi-Fi flying around that big cement dome. Luke Ryan, 4x entertainer of the year and I’ve never heard of him. Where is that great big flag they always drag out? Did somebody lose it? Oh there is a flag, but it is a weenie. Why don’t they have one that faces the other side?

Time for some more commercials. Naked lady in a shell. OK. Rap burgers. Medical insurance and another patriot commercial for Coke, a cooking show for kids, another sci-fi series and back to the ball game. Well almost.

It is time to wheel out the ole president and his wife for the coin toss. Atlanta wins and defers.

More commercials. A car will get you unstuck, even if the ladder falls and you are on the roof.

Now it is time for the game for real, this time.

First play an incomplete pass but the second connects. 3^rd and one and didn’t get it running. The other side started to move but didn’t.

Time for a Google commercial, check your phone for tires, witchcraft avocados and some little girl running out on the field to hand the zebra the football.

Brady has a lot of time to pass and they are connecting. Oops, I was wrong.

Arnie is back to keep up the ratings I guess, special effects for H&R Block. And very strange Skittles gobble commercial.

Might be a defensive / offensive line game?

Bush beer makes too much noise, oil = good, and some weird thing with cats on remote vacs and panda eating bamboo.

First quarter and no score.

Art can make a fresh drink, Intel eating off the floor, Airbud getting along with each other, World of tanks, screaming women and tanks, Australian wine and a guy in a yellow suit.

Turnover!

Pirate zombies, elephants on treadmill selling pistachios, crazy kids football selling cars are the next batch.

New England confused.

More violence with a little girl, T-mobile dancing commercial, and another NFL promo are the next set of commercials. Terry took his coat off.

Pattycakes time out didn’t work, no matter what kind of paper Bill writes on and the Falcoons get a TOUCHDOWN!

A Honda commercial with creative yearbook pictures, serious tea commercial, and some more shoot’em up mechanical destruction movie and then we turn back to the game.

Tide commercial with Terry again, and a bearded guy and a guy in a yellow vest talking phone, and another commercial for the 24+legacy gets us through another bit of time.

Got it! And another TOUCHDOWN for the Falcoons. Leap but a bit too soon and will redo. All for not and it is time for more commercials.

Coke and more food, ‘The Handmaids Tale’ which doesn’t look very friendly, smelly bathroom break, some weird ninja floor mats, and then we are back to the game, again.

Down the block the kids who are not interested in the game are in the back yard doing what kids do. They are jumping around, yelling and screaming, repeating the same words over and over and over and over again and banging on stuff. Put a jersey on them and send them in coach.

Holding penalty and move the sticks. Gronk is watching in Belichecks sweatshirt and wondering. Another hold against the Atlanta and the Pats move down the field. Getting close but dropped the ball. Oops! It was another hold by Atlanta.

There you go!!! Atlanta picks off Tommy and runs for another TOUCHDOWN. That is the way it happens.

O’Boy some more commercials. Lots of kids but where are the dogs and ponies? Oh, another red very expensive car. Exercise and then drink beer. Sounds good to me.

Selling tax on the phone with broken eggs, another expensive red car, and another shoot ‘em up drive fast violent movie, and back to flaming phallic footballs. I see a bit of repetition.

John Malkovish to squarespace, hair drying to unfrozen beef unless ou are Wendy’s, some more helicopters and shoot ‘em up promo for the show after the Super Bowl.

Overthrown ball and then good connection and good blocking to get a gain then another open receiver and then a miss and another connection and a first down and a time out and another first down close to the goal line with a holding call against the Pattycakes and a bad screen and a field goal with 2 seconds left.

HALF TIME SHOW!

Future of crime fighting (more violence), a pleasant bank, a car with bad graphics, Internet, plumbing, and another violence promo keep filling the screen.

Time to open the roof to the lady, but first…. a refugee commercial by 84 Lumber.

Yabba, yabba and then some Empire, Legion (spooky) and then onto a sugar drink without sugar half time show.

Lady standing up on the roof with liberty and justice for all and then jumping off through the roof onto the field. That is pretty bold. Lots of smoke and wires and flames and spotlights and dancers and yelling kids and flash and must cost cash. Put your hands together. Telephones and now keyboard and more lights and glitter and jumping and twirling lighted rifles. Now a piano for a slow song and the eye makeup and the golden jacket has gone. Hug the audience and then a bunch of glowing people and another costume change with back flips and as more fireworks go off she throws down the mike and jumps off the stage. Hi mom and dad?

Commercial for Genius, Feud Bettie and Joan, and the Superbowl babies while everyone goes to the bathroom.

Ok, back to football. Atlanta three and out. Maybe Pats are fired up?

Soapbox racing with a woman driver by Audi (and it was not a red car), Mister Clean getting down and dirty, and another 24 promo and a bazaar western Sneakers commercial keeps us entertained during the dull time.

While they take a time out do you ever wonder how many people have to stand up for hours during these exhibitions?

There is the Budweiser commercial for refugees, T-Mobile with Snoop and Martha, and clean the scientist with laundry comes to mind.

Wide Open and good throw and catch. Yellow laundry and then a TOUCHDOWN and the Falcoons are flying.

Yikes save those whales and trees and don’t forget the seals by Niro by Kia or by Buckawahata, hair care, retro ego turned upside down to another violent movie fills some more sights until the camera can pan to all the stars in the stands with the Vice President.

Tommy tries to chip away at the defense. Billy is spitting and looking constipated. 4^th down but they complete and move on. The QB runs. Hooked helmets and time moves on. As the game moves on a throw and a turn and a TOUCHDOWN for the whiteshirts but a missed extra point.

A cure for Wellness (strange movie) and violent video game (again) and Walking Dead killing a football and more Fuji water and don’t drive drunk, give a damn before you get your taxes done.

On sides kick? I don’t think so.

Baywatch with the Rock and more violence, fast red car, and a T-Mobile shades of grey, before Swinsons cartoon and Albert take up another break but I’m getting tired.

Time out and regroup for the birds but incomplete pass that were oh so close. Sack might make a difference from the onsides kick and then delay of game.

Now it is down to business. It is the 4^th quarter. Throw too far and then chipping away bit by bit. The birds give the QB a big hug and they will have to kick again.

More violence, doggie eating and then southing vocals by Turkish Airlines, Google, Buns, sci-fi, coke and so it goes for the commercials.

Bud commercial with ghost dog and I don’t understand but that is just me?

Another t-Mobile porn commercial and everyone is looking at their screens for all the Zelda games, and more 24 and I’ve lost track.

Oops! Turnover for Pats, then Tommy goes down. TOUCHDOWN!  And they are going for two. 8-Point game.

Motorcycle blocked in by Easy Rider but it is a silver car instead of a red one, more automotive racing, and again that annoying at this point ‘24’ continues.

Open man and good throw and then another man down for the birds. Jones makes a catch. Sack was not a good move. Chris Long held so his daddy will have something to talk about. Now the move was inflated.

Third and ten and what ‘cha gonna do? Made a catch and moved on. Missed catch and another first down and stop the clock and WOOO! A deflected catch.

2-minute warning, so take another pee.

Another red car and half naked women, soft drink promoted by some sports star, golden boy chicken and laundry detergent before you put on those 3-D glasses, and another violent TV series.

Down to the one. Now what? TOUCHDOWN for the Pats as a comeback and now it is close. Too point conversion and it is now a TYE score.

BRAND NEW BALL GAME

What about bring the ole president back out to toss the coin?

Well enough of the crappy commercials and let us get this game over. I’ve been up sense before time began and I’m getting tired.

A run and then it is confetti time. Who would have….well I guess somebody did.

The Pattycakes came back from being down and more down and then found a way to win.

Well that is the play-by-play and it is nothing else but shouting and camera cuts and it was a LI bowl.

Now the social media can discuss what if or what about but the facts have been written. Unless you don’t believe them?

Keys

Found a bunch of keys. What do they unlock?

Found a bunch of locks. Where is the key?

A key is only good if there is a lock to put it in. A lock is only good if a key is available to unlock it.

So I find a bunch of pad locks. Locks of all different sizes and makes and models filling up a drawer. Some have keys in them and some don’t.

So I find a bunch of keys. Keys that look like they might fit some of the locks and some that don’t look like they fit anything but a space machine.

So an afternoon project of trying to match a key to a lock is formed. How boring can you get?

So during the process of trying to jam it into the slot and give it a twist, I wondered why I hadn’t done these years ago? Maybe some WD-40 would help?

So after all the fumbling around and getting frustrated that it wouldn’t fit what was I going to do with all these locks and all these keys?

So into the dumpster they go.

What was I going to lock up anyway? What was I locking in? What was I locking out?

So there is still a half dozen pad locks with matching keys and no place to lock them? They will just hang around like spare change until I want to keep something locked away from everyone without a key.

DATE CODE: MV

In the continuing adventures of everyday life, I found a piece of paper on the floor in the kitchen. It was in the same spot of the lost screw so maybe I have some gremlins.

The little white strip of paper could have stuck to my shoe and been brought in last night or had fallen out of my pocket but I would swear it was not there last night and was there this morning. The back looked like it was glued on something and the other side was printed “DATE CODE: MV”.

If a Roman numeral date code for 1005, it would not tell when it would have been printed or where it came from. I didn’t even know if it was AD or BC?

Of course I Goggled “Code: MV” and got this:

In statistics, missing data, or missing values, occur when no data value is stored for the variable in an observation. Missing data are a common occurrence and can have a significant effect on the conclusions that can be drawn from the data.

Missing data can occur because of non-response: no information is provided for one or more items or for a whole unit. Attrition is a type of missingness that can occur in longitudinal studies - for instance studying development where a measurement is repeated after a certain period of time. Missingness occurs when participants drop out before the test ends and one or more measurements are missing.

Data often are missing in research in economics, sociology, and political science because governments choose not to, or fail to, report critical statistics. Sometimes ‘missing values’ are caused by researchers. If data collection is done improperly or mistakes are made in data entry there occurs missingness.

Understanding the reasons why data are missing is important to correctly handle the remaining data. If values are missing completely at random, the data sample is likely still representative of the population. But if the values are missing systematically, analysis may be biased. Because of these problems, methodologists routinely advise researchers to design studies to minimize the occurrence of missing values.

So I throw the little piece of paper away in the kitchen trashcan and move onto my day’s business. A ride, wash some dishes, change cloths, do some outdoor work, drink a beer and listen to some music and decide to sweep some of the leaves that have blown through the open door. As I sweep the steps I notice a little white piece of paper in the piles of brown leaves.

You guessed it.

DATE CODE: MV

If the code is ‘Missing Values’ it may be the theme for today or maybe this year?

Values are regarded as something to deserve or of importance, worth, or usefulness.

A value could be an advantage, benefit, gain, profit, good, help, merit, helpfulness, or significance. A value could be the material or monetary worth of something. A value is a price, cost, worth, monetary value, or face value. A value could be the worth of something compared to the price paid or asked for it.

A value could also be a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. A value contains principles, ethics, morals, standards, and a code of behavior.

The point of this exercise is that maybe we are missing our values. Maybe our outburst of anger and frustration has misplaced our principles?

Maybe I’m just missing the point?

What adventures will tomorrow bring?

So Where Did You Come From?

In the continuous effort to organize and de-clutter, I found some mason jars up on a shelf. They had some unknown contents in them and some sticky labels. I really didn’t need any additional food storage containers but these are too nice to just throw away.

Another project to wash out glass jars and restore them in another appropriate place. It sounds so easy but they’ve been soaking in the sink for over a month. The opening was too small for me to stick my big paws in so I had to (had to?) buy another kind of scrubby brush. Then I also had to wash the regular glass and plate I use, so another soaking and some more soap.

Finally last night I scrubbed them out and prepared them for their new home outside. What was I going to do with them out there? I have no idea but a bit more space.

Being so proud of my accomplishment, I pushed on to another project that was moving three rugs upstairs through a narrow stairway. My rule of thumb is “You don’t go up unless you bring something else down”. I had some folding chairs to use with a table bought a few years ago for outside entertaining so I gathered them up and tried not to fall down the steps.

Phew!

Yet on the third trip upstairs I see a bag full of mason jars. “Where did you come from?” I pondered. Sometimes you move things just to get them out of the way and so that is my logic for this treasure.

Now those jars are sitting in a sink of suds awaiting the next surge of energy to clean them and join them with their friends outside. Maybe I’m just moving space holders?

One of my many other projects was to replace my old straw broom that was outside. I’d gone to the store and all they had were the plastic fiber brooms but I was looking for a straw replacement. I figured I had to go to the hardware store. I was just something that was stuck in the back of my head and when I plopped the folding chairs against this old worn straw broom, it just reminded me again. 

My last trip upstairs moving some cords and banging on the drums and hanging up a jacket and moving some other stuff I see this straw broom. “Where did you come from?”

This is the broom I was looking for and I had it all along. You just don’t know what you will find when you just look around.

It was just another day in just another life.

…and the Winner is….

Who is the Winner? Who is the Loser?

Why do we need this contest?

A winner is the victor, champion, conqueror, vanquisher, hero, medalist, record holder, top dog, world-beater, the best, etc. There is only one #1.

A winner crosses the finish line first and gets his just rewards. A winner lifts more weight or jumps higher or runs faster than anyone else. You can win at athletics or at business or at love (like that is going to happen).

If there is only one winner, everyone else is a loser?

A loser is a person or thing that loses or has lost something, especially a game or contest. A loser is a defeated person, also-ran, or a runner-up. A loser still gets the silver medal, but no one ever remembers second best. A loser is a person who accepts defeat with good or bad grace.

How do we deal with these few winners and all those losers?

The winner of today’s contest will forget that the trophy will rust for another winner next time and another after that. A one-time win will become ancient history and a memory.

Don’t feel so sad, even the ‘losers’ are winners at something.

A loser could be a winner at a perfect attendance or best dressed or a champion at domestic cleaning. These small victories are just as important and valued by everyone. Best scrabble player can out word any old college football lineman even in a letter sweater. A wheelchair bond racer might not win the race but can write and conduct an orchestra to applaud of the masses. The lowly cubical worker doing mundane routine over and over again can write the next top selling novel. A nightly janitorial can put aside some time to create an artistic masterpiece.

There are no losers only winners. One and all.

Indigenous

Indigenous people are people defined in international or national legislation as having a set of specific rights based on their historical ties to a particular territory, and their cultural or historical distinctiveness from other populations that are often politically dominant.

So what makes people indigenous?

• Indigenous people are descended from the pre-colonial/pre-invasion inhabitants of our region.

• Indigenous people maintain a close tie to our land in both our cultural and economic practices.

• Indigenous people suffer from economic and political marginalization as a minority group.

• Indigenous people are a group that is considered Indigenous if it defines itself that way.

OK, let me see if I got this.

A bunch of people, probably a family or a group of families find a plot of land that they like and claim it as their own. They grow their crops, raise their families, build their settlements, form their own language, fashion and religion.

Other groups of people do the same thing in another place and everyone will try to get along with each other.

Then tribe comes in and wants what these indigenous people have. They may want their land or women or resources or wealth.

If the new neighbors are more powerful and more aggressive they may assimilate or dominate or eliminate the indigenous people.

To justify their actions the new neighbors can create the fear of a different looking people or a different sounding people or the always reliable a different religion.

The United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples (UNDRIP) was adopted by the General Assembly on Thursday, 13 September 2007, by a majority of 144 states in favor, 4 votes against (Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the United States) and 11 abstentions (Azerbaijan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Burundi, Colombia, Georgia, Kenya, Nigeria, Russian Federation, Samoa and Ukraine).

In May 2016 Canada officially removed its objector status to UNDRIP, almost a decade after it was adopted by the General Assembly. By now also the other 3 objectors have, to various degrees, turned their vote.

While as a General Assembly Declaration it is not a legally binding instrument under international law, it does “represent the dynamic development of international legal norms and it reflects the commitment of the UN member states to move in certain directions”; the UN describes it as setting “an important standard for the treatment of indigenous peoples that will undoubtedly be a significant tool towards eliminating human rights violations against the planet's 370 million indigenous people and assisting them in combating discrimination and marginalization.”

UNDRIP codifies “Indigenous historical grievances, contemporary challenges and socio-economic, political and cultural aspirations” and is the “culmination of generations-long efforts by Indigenous organizations to get international attention, to secure recognition for their aspirations, and to generate support for their political agendas.”

The Declaration sets out the individual and collective rights of indigenous peoples, as well as their rights to culture, identity, language, employment, health, education and other issues. It also “emphasizes the rights of indigenous peoples to maintain and strengthen their own institutions, cultures and traditions, and to pursue their development in keeping with their own needs and aspirations”. It “prohibits discrimination against indigenous peoples”, and it “promotes their full and effective participation in all matters that concern them and their right to remain distinct and to pursue their own visions of economic and social development”. The goal of the Declaration is to encourage countries to work alongside indigenous peoples to solve global issues, like development, multicultural democracy and decentralization. According to Article 31, there is a major emphasis that the indigenous peoples will be able to protect their cultural heritage and other aspects of their culture and tradition, which is extremely important in preserving their heritage. The elaboration of this Declaration had already been recommended by the Vienna Declaration and Programme of Action

Prior to the adoption of the Declaration, and throughout the 62nd session of the General Assembly, a number of countries expressed concern about some key issues, such as self-determination, access to lands, territories and resources and the lack of a clear definition of the term indigenous.

 

Indigenous people like the Mayans, Native Americans (Indians), Aborigines, Eskimos, Chiapas, Yucatán’s, Oaxaca, Yazidis, Nivkh people, and many, many others have found a way of life and created a culture of traditional history. Some might call them savages or heathens or primitives or uncivilized yet their simple lifestyle is envied by the high paced rat race of the modern world.

No matter how we classify ourselves, we all have to merge in with the norms of the majority and accepted laws of the region where we shelter ourselves. Underneath all the makeup and faux uniforms we are all indigenous people with our own language, religion, and heritage.

Fiancée

  He is my fiancée.

What does that mean?

  Usually used during an engagement period with two who have promised to marry, but not just yet. It is the purgatory to marriage. It is the waiting line to work out the details.

  The couple who are now more than boyfriend/girlfriend and not quite roommates are emotionally attached to each other but have promised to marry each other rather than shack up for it is the proper thing to do. Also the parents like it better than what you’ve been doing under the football bleachers.

  What about the betrothed? Usually involves some sort of jewelry better than that high school piece of lead stuffed with wax to fit on her little finger. Precious stones are always good to add some sparkle but means the main event jewelry must bring some major bling.

  This time between just dating to being coupled in matrimony can be a few days or weeks or drag on for months or maybe years. There are lots of details to be worked out.

Introductions and becoming familiar with future family-in-laws and all their particular customs can take time. Partners might like each other but all those other folks might not be as appealing. It is all part of the deal.

This is the time when you really start to find out about the other person. This is for real. You are making a REAL commitment.

While she gets all excited about picking out a dress and flowers and a setting that will be just perfect for the special day, you are wondering if the Beatles or the Stones or even Frank Zappa could be played at the wedding knowing full well that the music will probably turn to wedding planners and the usual Barry Manilow and Michael Jackson.

So both are excited about the upcoming event but somewhat fearful of the consequences. Thanks goodness when you are young, parental authority and testosterones can direct you. 

All the other distractions of human interest must be put aside for there is a marriage to be consummated. Like any contract when signed on the dotted line you must complete the requirements established or face the consequences.

Wear the title “fiancée” with pride for sooner or later it will be Mister and Mrs (not mistress) and all your offspring and you will live happily ever after in marital bliss.

Good luck.