Asking for Permission or Begging for Forgiveness?

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It is a funny process how “we” make decisions, particularly if “we” are a couple.

Say “we” decide to purchase a new washing machine. Pretty simple decision right? No so much.

If you are like some; you only purchase what you can afford or what if available. Now a washing machine isn’t a car or a home, but it is a fairly big-ticket item.

Some do their research and check out the features, compare prices, ask neighbors and friends, then reconsider. You can check sizes and make diagrams and look at all the different manufactures then start all over again. Temperature ranges, drum size, evaluations are all considered and then start over again.

Sometimes it is better to make a decision on the spur of the moment. Think about that time when you lost your virginity.

That moment may have been your best or worst decision but you made it on the moment. Your mind may have been racing with the years of propaganda upbringing or the religious connotations of right vs. wrong. The most important influential ingredient may have been those rushing hormones or a long awaited opportunity.

So why can’t we make these spur of the moments decisions on other purchases. I bought my house by walking around; taking a few minutes to look, and then asked the realtor if I could afford it. When she said, “Yes.” The deal was done. Signing all the credit papers I wondered what I was getting into but I had made the decision and would face the consequences. It was a pretty expensive spur of the moment decision, but I needed a roof over my head, which was an important incentive, and I knew the neighborhood.

Now I walk into a store and see something that I might “need”. Of course it must be on my to-do list or I wouldn’t be in the store in the first place. So I look at the price and a quick check out.

But now I leave the store and go home and think about it. It is not the money, but I ponder about the “need”.

The major expenses I have made over the past few years have been needed repairs but now I’m comfortable with what I have and don’t “want” anything else. The temptations continue to flow but the rationalization takes over, except when it comes to toys.

Now through the years, we all desire toys. Those items that is not necessary for existences but are fun to purchase and play with as toy soldiers and cowboy hats. As kids we see these items, which have been engrained, in our minds by television and cereal boxes and beg our parents for them, but after working in the field I can look past all those broken promises.

But as a couple each has different wants in toys but only limited amount of funds, so when one sees a temptation, the purchase must be a decision. Do you come home and ask for permission or make the purchase and beg for forgiveness?

The balance is the shifting power within a couple. Some can hold the power of majority of income or use sensual delights to obtain the power.

Looking back over 30 years I can now understand how purchasing “wants” wasn’t the smartest decision but felt, at least at the time, that buying items for the momentary satisfaction was the right thing to do.

Oh well, it is cheaper this way.