And when she says, "NO!"

It is not what you expected?

Everything was planned right down to the perfectly designed ring and the most romantic setting and the agonized but well rehearsed question but not the unexpected answer.

Now I will format this statement broadly by saying, being a guy, we try to set things up for our own expectations of accomplishing a goal. A shot at the hoop, a boast to eat more wings, or to drive to the end of the street faster than anyone else are what guys do to prove they are guys.

A proposal is the same thing. It is not in a “guys” DNA to get all that emotional stuff out in the open where someone else can hear it. Sure in the dark room guys will say anything to…. Well you know. But to make a public display of affection or even worst a acknowledgement that this other person means more than life itself and the guy is going to crumble to ask for eternal connection with this other being.

I’m not saying we are hopeless louts. The flash of an eye or the flick of the hair easily crazes us. Shoot, you ladies are well trained on how to capture us. History proves this.

But when it gets serious, you know, really serious and our “guy mind” is all befuddled, we start to get all goofy.

It is not a bad thing and it is probably in our natural makeup but we don’t know it. Guys are trained to hammer nails and catch footballs and beat on our chest to show our dominance over our surroundings. Look at what we did to the gentle guitar by putting electricity into it to make heavy metal.

So for a guy to throw off all that masculinity he lives on and become the tender person who will ask “you” to become more than just a date is a monumental moment.

Sweat on the brow, palpitations in the chest, and a deep sinking feeling as the question is asked. All the preparations have been made for this “yes” or “no” response.

And if she says, “No!”?

If you want to see a guy, a big burly guy standing tall and strong crumble, just say, “No”.

Sure we have all those emotions like everyone else, but have been trained to suppress them. Once you shatter this belief, a guy has to rationalize his failure. Some recover and some don’t.

So ladies, be gentle on us. Take a second look at the shiny bling he is offering because that took a lot of effort to make and take a listen to his quivering voice and realize how difficult this is to ask and think about the period of time together you have agreed to being a couple.

To clarify these previous statements, I am not expert on the female mystique, but I do know how to reach over to an empty pillow. *

*Repeat from a ReadWave post in England circa 2014.