UPDATE: from the Tummy Temple

There is no hurricane or snowstorm coming but it looks like it. Items are popping off the shelves faster than the staff can restock. The selections are dwelling.

The trucks are rolling in and stacks of boxes carted out in a steady stream but they may not be able to keep up with the demand.

The parking lot is full as if it was the day before Thanksgiving or the Super bowl but these drivers are in a panic.

And being ‘ole folk’s day’ even though we don’t get no discounts anymore, them there folks are bused in to wander the aisles in their bumper cars or be guided by a carrying family member to find the prunes and pampers.

The rest of these new faces to the congregation are still confused, looking at signage, reversing their journeys into unknown aisles, double checking their menu and checking each item for glutton. I think that one is a vegan?

I’m old enough to remember when there were two cans of soup: tomato and chicken noodle made by one manufacturer that you trusted. The butcher was known by name and knew how you liked the cuts. Flies had to be swatted away from the produce that was squeezed for freshness. Plastic bags had not been invented. Most selections were for ingredients in a recipe made at home and not pre-cooked and frozen. Coffee was percolated but the fancy stores allowed you to grind your own beans. Milk was whole and delivered to your doorstep. There were no pre-made meals in a deli. If you wanted to eat, you waited to be called to the dinner table.

What? There were also rotary phones with party lines and black and white televisions with no remote controls.

Variety is the spice of life they say, but when an entire aisle dedicated to spaghetti sauce that used to be handmade with your grandmother’s secret ingredients but now comes in a bottle that you can microwave and poured on some soggy pasta, why not get a frozen TV dinner?

Well the produce guy keeps me stoked with blueberries and the frozen food guy keeps the pizzas stocked and the beer guys keeps the medicine flowing so I’m still happy.

I can enjoy the sight of these new parishioners who have decided to affiliate themselves with our denomination. They will soon understand the ecclesiastical polity of this place and the deacons will assist them in blue shirts.