Being White in America

This was the life I was born into. I started out blue but after a good whacking I turned pink.

My father was the manager of a private gentleman’s club across the street from the state Capitol. It was very similar to this photo. White males only served by blacks in starched jackets run as an antebellum plantation.

Take another look at the photo.

All my family was white. All my neighbors were white. All my schoolmates were white. All my teachers were white. The entire church congregation was white. My preacher was white. My doctor was white.

Did I know segregation?

This is just the way it was.

All the stores had white clerks. All the police were white. All the parades were white. All the television characters were white. All the presidents were white. All the army heroes were white. All the cowboys were white.

There were ‘colored only’ restrooms but they were not noticed.

Toleration was the game of the day.

The textbooks talked of the glory of the Lost Cause and the monuments peppered the landscape without understanding the background. The confederacy and its symbols were celebrated even as a losing effort to maintain a economy based on the labor of enslaved people.

Take another look at the photo.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Racism is the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities and qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another.

Again, take a look at the photo.

Do the white men look privileged? Does the black man presenting the drinks appear to enjoy his job?

The server was doing a job he was hired to do. He got paid for his service. He had a family. He had bills to pay. He went to church. He had friends that lived around him that looked like him.

My first with any people of color (other than subservient positions) was high school. A handful of kids were bused in from the far side of town. They pretty well kept to themselves. None were on the cheer leading squad. None were on the football team. None were on the basketball team.

Don’t remember anyone I knew spouting racist comments for Richmond was a lazy town of toleration. There may have been words if the two sides crossed paths but there were no black golfers or swimmers or tennis players at the country club.

As I watched the black and white images of dogs and fire hoses on peaceful marchers I never remembered hearing any discouraging remarks from my parents although I knew they did not agree with the changes coming.

I remember riding by the black sharecroppers in broken down wooden shacks next to the road. I remember seeing the black chain gangs cleaning the tall grass next to the highway under watchful eyes of whites with guns. I thought it was just Carolina.

There were only white beaches. There were only whites at the hotel. There were only whites at the dance though the band may have the diversity to make it jive.

Didn’t follow the politics of the time but was fully aware my city didn’t want any part of intermingling with “the other race”.

I witnessed the highways cutting through neighborhoods providing for white flight to the suburbs. I watched attempts of realtors trying to gentrify broken down neighborhoods with no thought of where would the displaced go.

Take another look at the photo.

Was that the legacy of hundred of years of domination? Was this acceptable Jim Crow politics? What was the bartender thinking?

By college the diversity of classes were not only integrated but also a mix of old and young alike. We were in the same class. We shared information and ideas. We did not party together. We did not date each other. We did not marry outside of our own race.

I’ve seen ‘Roots’. I’ve read many books on the subject of racism from both black and white authors. I can logically comprehend what living on the other side of Broad Street was but I can’t live in their shoes.

Look at your Facebook friends list. Look at your phone contacts. Think about the latest restaurant you went to. Who attended your children’s wedding?

Are we there yet?

I personally try to be respectful of all people. I use ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ in all acknowledgments. If I get any propaganda, aggressive agendas or hate speak, I do not confront but yet walk away. The other person may have life events I do not know or could understand.

Maybe it won’t happen in my lifetime but there is hope for the future generations.