Upgrade Please

 

So I kept getting this annoying message on one of my computers that my three browsers were no longer being supported. Some websites looked the same and others had the message of ‘Since you didn’t upgrade your system when we warned you months ago, you are getting the trash beta version without all the bells and whistles’. Oh the pathos of it all. It seems this computer was still running Kitty Cats and now the latest systems were Mountains.

I used to be the whiz kid with all the latest toys and the latest groovy gizmos and now I was shamed for falling behind. At one point I knew how to take this box apart and put it back together again but have now declined to the occasional email message and scrolling through political abhorrent language, inappropriate memes and the frequent selfie.

The thought of taking the box into the shop and let them do the simple download to upgrade, with the fear of something going wrong, I procrastinated.

The other computers worked fine so I put the inevitable off until, one day when I was bored.

Google/ Apple/ Download OS upgrade.

Page after page of Forums, Help advice, Blogs and even YouTube instructions appeared. The first YouTube video I opened was by some foreign voice taking a screen video and showing all the wrong approaches. Another video showed all the messages that will come up if you just tell the computer to upgrade.

I’ve upgraded systems since they were on floppy disk, but now everything is connected to the cloud. Double-checking with the Apple Help site, I bit the bullet.

Download file ZVX$1#&* to your hard drive.

First log onto Apple to let them know who you are with that secret handshake, then wait. And wait. It took about 20 minutes to download the compressed stuffed upgrade that will solve all my problems. Go to another computer and check the email to see if there was another message about prostrate cancer cures or secret discounts for seniors.

Ok, double click on the upgrade file and….

Log onto the computer and tell it you are the administrator with your secret code before it will accept the upgrade. I used to get messages all the time that someone from far away had decided I needed an upgrade and was doing just that and all I had to do is reboot. Who says Big Business isn’t looking out for you?

Now a message telling me how long it was going to take to complete the task and the famous timeline while the mouse pointer turned into a twirling baton. Time to have another drink and go back to the other email to see if those Russian girls responded.

Time moves slowly when you upgrade.

We all have upgraded. We’ve upgraded from that clunker car your uncle gave you to that sweet ride you have now. We’ve upgraded from the little black and white screen to the massive wall covering high definition we are glued to. We’ve upgraded from that little refrigerator with the ice trays that needed to be defrosted to the double door stainless steel closet for leftovers. We’ve upgraded from tie-dye to double-knit to gaudy flowered shirts to elastic sweats. We’ve upgraded from perms to hair coloring to hats.  Have you upgraded your marriage?

Ding! Times up!!

Not yet? The computer still needs to reboot to put everything in its proper place.

This is the REAL test. Will the old chips and motherboard accept the new high-test version of an operating system?

Ding!

User login password all looks good. Then the series of ‘Would you like to use the new features’ windows open for my quiz. No, I don’t want to talk to Siri or connect to my iPad or (none Apple) cell phone.

Finally the desktop appears and everything looks the same. The software alias on the dock seems to have a shadow now, but that is just bling. Open a few folders and check the sounds and seems normal.

Now to test the software?

Much of my software is ancient versions because they work fine and I don’t see any features in the upgrades that are worth the cost. Photoshop, Illustrator, Email, Google, Facebook (without the annoying message), Blogspot, Soundcloud, Reverbnation, Audacity, MSOffice (version 2008)…all seem to work. Excel seems a bit funky so I tried to open large files in Apple Numbers and that seems to work. I might need to resave files in that format?

My scanner didn’t seem to understand the connection anymore, so I took it to another computer (that also had the driver) and it still was lost. Went to the website (as we all do) to see if there was an upgrade to the driver. Rats! No such luck. There were a couple of solution suggestions that I tried and only got more annoying email than a connection to a perfectly good scanner.

I’ve got a printer/scanner/fax box I had to purchase in the last upgrade because the printer I had didn’t come with an upgrade (see a pattern?). It had been acting up recently but I don’t print much anymore, but why not try the scanner. A few trial and errors and eureka! The image appears above.

So instead of buying a new computer, I’ve moved this computer into the 21^st century. The thought of buying a new laptop with the new M1 chip has crossed my mind but all the stores are closed. Like most of my purchases I would like knowledgeable, reputable person who can answer my questions as I test it out before lying down my cash. To me, a computer is a big purchase item and if something goes wrong I want to be able to take it back and get it fixed (@ no charge). I’ll keep considering a fourth computer.

That is the story of converting my old operating system to an acceptable one for the world to not complain about. It doesn’t have the latest screen resolution to watch YouTube clips or the speediest processor for download streaming, but it holds up well enough.

No! I haven’t upgraded to Big Sur…. Yet