An Orphan

 

With all the talk about availability for aborting an unwanted pregnancy, there are those who survive the nine months but forever reason not wanted to be a family and abandoned.

I married an orphan.

I did not know all the details but neither did she? Was she abandoned? Did her parents die in an accident or just walk away from the responsibility they had created? Was she in an orphanage or given away from a faith organization?

When you are little, you have no say in what goes on. Big people tell you where to sit and what to eat and when to sleep. In my case, they were my parents.

My friends had a pair of parents and we all followed the instructions. We wore the same clothing. We ate the same food. We went to the same schools.

At that point in life, we didn’t ask what our parents did or what religion we were or where we shopped or what kind of car we had? We just wanted to fit in.

How do you fit in when everyone is a stranger?

She was given a name of a family she did not know. Why was she adopted? How do you adapt to be a part of this alien family?

My first wife was basically an orphan when I met her. She did have a mother but never talked about her father. She seemed as glad to get away from that family and never asked why.

So my orphan wife appreciated being part of a relationship that did not require judgment. She could do whatever she wanted. She could follow her adventures without restrictions. She could rename herself to who she wanted to be.

It is difficult for me to relate to since I had a mother and a father and an ancestry. She searched for a possible connection to blood relatives but in the end you are who you are.

Abandoned babies, for whatever reason, have to struggle for their own faith.