What Is It About Christmas Shopping?

To clarify my intention on this subject, I must say I was in the employment to entice people to shop. My job was to present messages and illustrations of products and services that would make local community rush to purchase for their households or give to their family and friends bringing an orgasmic feeling of satisfaction.

I may not have accomplished the anticipated results but with lots of help from other media and traditional training, every Christmas was successful. Unfortunately the bills arrive at the end of the month. Luckily a holiday that involves much drinking also arrives to start off another year of debt.

Now my biggest shopping adventure, during this season or not, is a quick trip to the grocery store. But during the season of crazed consumption I will make a trip to a mall or a big-box store to enjoy the entertainment. I see the panic as a strange dance that happens every year. Kind of like a strange groundhog day with a plastic card.

To see the carts full of unnecessary crap that will be broken or thrown away in the next 12 months. The bigger the box the better it seems. And if the item isn’t broken or thrown away at the deadline, it will be out-of-date obsolete and need to be replaced and upgraded.

The really good dancers…. Oh that is shoppers, take their children. There is nothing better than a snotty nose tired brat being asked by a parent what they want Santa to bring. And you know children, especially when they are bored and left unattended. Rampaging stampede of herded cats could not be better.

So as your fight in the parking lot for a space and jam your vehicle with wrapping paper, plastic toys that require batteries, gigantic televisions and poinsettias, I will smile and walk away empty handed.

I could put a few things on a list and search the aisle for the items that probably won’t be appreciated, so I don’t. I don’t have anyone special to entice with jewels or favors and I’ve already gotten my own Christmas present, so shopping is not an option of my lifestyle.

The reports at the end of the year of how much was spent to keep the economy going are always enlightening. We are a well-taught society of light stringers and tree decorators to celebrate this holiday with such fervor.

So I wish to all of the shoppers stressed with the obligation of showing their relationship for another with appliances or jewelry or ugly sweaters. Enjoy the feeding frenzy and relish that there are only a few more days to go until it is too late.

Oh, I forgot the after-Christmas sales.