Sunday, February 15, 2015

So You Want To Date My Sister?




    First of all let me say I’ve never had a sister. Not that I’ve never dated a sister, but all my immediate family were boys.
Second let me say I’ve never had a daughter. I’ve dealt with dads and their concerns about me taking out their daughters.
Third and finally, I understand the emotional connection between father and daughter. I also understand the young teenage lust factor. A father was a teenager before and his wife was like his daughter to another father.
But fathers and mothers are adults and must face the inevitable of letting their daughter go to another.
Not so much brothers.
A brother, especially an older brother, will take under his wing his little sister. He will be supportive of her adventures and listen to heartbreaks. He will keep her secrets and without question buffer her from parents. He will teach her baseball and not judge that she throws like a girl.
Even a younger brother has a special bond with a sister. She may be the one to introduce him to that funny little freckled girl down the block he was to shy to talk to. She is the shoulder to cry on when mom is not around. She will help you fold your laundry and tell you the latest songs you should listen to.
So when you go to the door with flowers in hand and sweat on your brow, don’t worry about mom or dad. They will ask you a few questions you can mumble politely through before you remove their daughter to a dance or approved chaperoned gathering. Remember she is their ‘little girl’.
No, don’t worry about them. You can sweet talk and fake how responsible you are and what good care you will take with their precious baby.
Moms and dads can be fooled, but not me. I’m her brother!
I’m the guy sitting three rows back in the dark theatre. I’m the guy, two tables down at the dinner. I’m the guy who is in the shadows of Lookout Point when you arrive.
No matter how soave you think you are and how you pull the wool over my parent’s eyes, I’m still her brother.
If she comes home crying because you’ve broken her heart or tried to molest her, you will have to answer to me. And I will be your worst nightmare.
So before you walk out that door hand-in-hand, remember she has a brother.

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