Hi! I’m a penis. I go by the name of Dick or Peter or Rod or Cock or many others. I’m the plumbing system that gets you a blue blanket when you are born.
When you are born it is not the color of your eyes or hair that defines what cigar your father hands out. Indoor or outdoor plumbing start designating your future from the moment you take a breath.
Toilet training doesn’t just include how to let go sitting down on the porcelain throne but also how to aim. I’m the little guy who is taught to hide from everyone.
Then puberty hits and I start to take control. As all those hormones are changing your voice and growing hair on your legs and armpits, I can’t be counted on to just hide away in my cup. Instead the wiggle of a walk or a naked lady on a calendar makes me stand at attention. Sometimes it is too much for me and I shoot off.
At the same time, the girls (those with the internal plumbing) are growing hair on their legs and armpits but also they are growing lumps on their chest. Size matters.
Whether I’m a wiener or a kielbasa, I like to be stroked. Friction turns off the rational brain as an internal pleasure opioid becomes addictive and must be repeated over-and-over again. Combine the internal plumbing and the population grows.
It is why we have two plumbing systems for procreation of the species.
Some blue blankets want to be pink blankets and some pink blankets want to be blue blankets and there are lots of variations of identify your personal preference, but without what I can do we will all become extinct.
The next time you see me, give a little rub and see if the genie comes out of the bottle.
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