Conformity

 

Conformity is the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors to group norms, politics or being like-minded. Norms are implicit, specific rules, shared by a group of individuals that guide their interactions with others

Conformity is the tendency for an individual to align their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with those of the people around them. Conformity can take the form of overt social pressure or subtler, unconscious influence

Conformity is a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behavior in order to fit in with a group. Group pressure may take different forms: bullying, persuasion, teasing, criticism, etc. Conformity is also known as majority influence (or group pressure).

There are many different situations where people conform. Psychologists have categorized three main types of conformity, including: compliance, identification and internalization.

Researchers have found that people conform to a number of different reasons. In some instances, we conform to the expectations of the group in order to avoid looking foolish. This tendency can become particularly strong in situations where we are not quite sure how to act or where the expectations are ambiguous.

There will always be people who choose not to conform to society. Those that do choose to take this action help those who decide not to follow the rules because they continue to live within a realm of social acceptability. This activity creates a safe place for everyone to live.

Conformity can be dangerous because it doesn’t let you see past the simplicity, how comfortable you feel and what you know. Therefore you fall into the traps prepared for you by the illusion of well being in which you choose to live. Below are five ways we trap and stifle ourselves when we fall into emotional conformity…

 1. The couch couple

Comfort and emotional conformity in love are both major enemies to a couple. Often while in a relationship, you strive to create a bubble of emotional stability that allows you to settle in and look at life as if you had already walked half the journey.

You have someone you love and who loves you back, by your side, at the end of the day, even if everything else goes south, you’ll always have a place to take shelter. However, people tend to get a bit confused. That bubble isn’t a couch you can pass out on because anything goes; it’s a breath of fresh air. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, and not even necessarily that long, you tend to relegate your goals and aspirations.

You stop being the person you were and you change, and that plus your relationship makes you deteriorate.  You abandon yourself physically and emotionally in an emotional frenzy that makes you, unconsciously, think something like “Well, I’ll take care of myself later.”

And you think, “It’s all the same,” but what about you? If in this exact moment, your partner were to disappear from your life, would you feel good about yourself? Will you continue to love yourself in the same way or have you neglected too much?

 2. Avoiding negative emotions

Let’s not kid ourselves: uncomfortable emotions have a reason why they rear their ugly head. Sadness, anger, uncertainty, concern, pain, disappointment, regret, etc. each and every one have something to teach us.

But what we do is run away from them, we run in the opposite direction and don’t let them explain themselves. As a consequence, they can turn into horrible monsters like depression, rage, guilt and anxiety.

Fleeing is a cowardly thing to do but listening to what people have to say can be uncomfortable, and we don’t want to listen. We need to let the adequate emotions through; the ones that don’t interfere with the completion of our goals, but push them further.

 3.  Lack of critical thinking

Our thoughts can be partial, distorted, biased, etc. We tend to choose the things we’re drawn to so as to not become uncomfortable, and not surpass limits that have such gratifying results. And so there’s a point in everyone’s life where we succumb, one way or another, to comfort.

In a similar way, we “swallow” everything that social media, friends, family or acquaintances tell us. We adjust to the social norm of “not putting our feet in the water” and stop thinking for ourselves.

We start to get mentally slow and lazy; hindering reason, honesty and the open mindedness we could be enjoying if we forced ourselves to question ourselves and what others tell us.

 4.  Relinquishing our autonomy

Letting other people decide for us is one of the biggest dangers of emotional conformity. As we mentioned earlier, letting other people make their own decisions is totally normal, and expected.

Since we don’t want to have to face the discomfort of our interests and beliefs, we end up letting other people adjust us to the norm. This wears out our present and future capacity to make decisions, as well as our physical and emotional freedom.

 

Researchers have found that people conform to a number of different reasons. In some instances, we conform to the expectations of the group in order to avoid looking foolish. This tendency can become particularly strong in situations where we are not quite sure how to act or where the expectations are ambiguous.

 

Conformity is the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors to group norms, politics or being like-minded. Norms are implicit, specific rules, shared by a group of individuals that guide their interactions with others. People often choose to conform to society rather than to pursue personal desires because it is often easier to follow the path others have made already, rather than creating a new one. This tendency to conform occurs in small groups and/or society as a whole, and may result from subtle unconscious influences (predisposed state of mind), or direct and overt social pressure. Conformity can occur in the presence of others, or when an individual is alone. For example, people tend to follow social norms when eating or watching television, even when alone.

People often conform from a desire for security within a group—typically a group of a similar age, culture, religion, or educational status. This is often referred to as groupthink: a pattern of thought characterized by self-deception, forced manufacture of consent, and conformity to group values and ethics, which ignores realistic appraisal of other courses of action. Unwillingness to conform carries the risk of social rejection. Conformity is often associated with adolescence and youth culture, but strongly affects humans of all ages.

Although peer pressure may manifest negatively, conformity can be regarded as either good or bad. Driving on the correct side of the road could be seen as beneficial conformity. With the right environmental influence, conforming, in early childhood years, allows one to learn and thus, adopt the appropriate behaviors necessary to interact and develop correctly within one's society. Conformity influences formation and maintenance of social norms, and helps societies function smoothly and predictably via the self-elimination of behaviors seen as contrary to unwritten rules. In this sense it can be perceived as a positive force that prevents acts that are perceptually disruptive or dangerous.

As conformity is a group phenomenon, factors such as group size, unanimity, cohesion, status, prior commitment and public opinion help determine the level of conformity an individual displays.

 

When assimilating into a new society one must see how others dress, what they eat, and conversational language. To conform one can adopt behavioral patterns and still be segregated.

 

Growing up in the conservative Jim Crow south, conformity was the rule of the white middle class. Live is the same houses, drive the same cars, go to the same churches and schools, work in similar jobs and have the same size families. Conformity was required to be accepted to the team, be asked to the party, and qualify for credit and employment. Everyone shopped in the same department stores and wore the same clothing. Everyone had the latest appliance to show his or her conformity.

Conformity is boring.

 

There has always been a fringe group that didn’t quite fit in. While every radio was playing pop tunes or classical performances, they listened to jazz. While every man was clean-shaven, they grew beards. While every woman would have her hair done in the latest styles from the movie stars in magazines, they would let their hair grow free.

As long as this pack didn’t disturb normality, they were tolerated. There were always acceptable reasons for this odd behavior. There were constant efforts to get ‘them’ to conform and be like the rest of us.

 

Growing up I had a chance to watch this rational splinter. Women were no longer restricted to the kitchen. People who were confined could shop in department stores. The music got louder. Political emotions split family and friends. People could love whomever they wanted.

Today I’m watching a similar revolution from a different perspective.

Am I one of them or are they one of us?