Abstinence

 

In this time of isolation and social distancing, have we learned to abstain from our normal activities?

Instead of visiting with friends, we face time with each other like a sad sitcom. Instead of going to the gym, we lay on the couch doing remote control crunches. Instead of cutting fresh vegetables for a complete well balanced diet, we cut the cheese to go with the endless line of wine bottles.

 

Can we go without?

 

Abstinence is a self-enforced restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to sexual abstinence, or abstinence from alcohol, drugs, or food.

Because the regimen is intended to be a conscious act, freely chosen to enhance life, abstinence is sometimes distinguished from the psychological mechanism of repression. The latter is an unconscious state, having unhealthy consequences.

Teetotalism, temperance, sobriety, abstemiousness, abstention, nephalism, celibacy, chastity, Singleness, continence, virginity, bachelorhood, spinsterhood, self-restraint, self-denial, refraining, desisting, holding back, forbearing, keeping, withholding, renunciation of, refusal of, declining, avoidance of, eschewal of, abjuration of, shunning, forgoing, going without, doing without are all terms of abstinence.

 

For some people, abstinence means not having any kind of sex. You can choose to be abstinent whenever you want, even if you’ve had sex before. For other people, abstinence only means not having vaginal sex, but other sexual activities are allowed.

Although many people use “celibacy” and “abstinence” interchangeably, there is a difference between the two terms. Abstinence usually refers to the decision not to have penetrative sex. Celibacy is a vow to remain abstinent over an extended period of time.

 

Abstinence in a relationship may cause alienation. Lovers can merely lose desire for one another due to the not enough physical contact. Sex is essential and only the strongest relationships will benefit from abstinence.

 

Some things are good with abstinence.

* Academic performance: It is easier to concentrate on your studies. After all, isn’t that what you came to college for?

* Better health: You’ll probably have fewer physical and emotional concerns.

* Certainty: If the relationship lasts without sex, there is a good chance it will be a strong relationship.

* Confidence: You’ll know that the other person likes you for you, and not just for sexual attraction.

* Freedom from worry: You’ll have no concerns about unintended pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections. Also, there will be less confusion about relationships that become intense too fast.

* Good example: You’ll be setting one for your peers or younger siblings.

* Less stress: There will be time to learn more about yourself and your feelings.

* Peace of mind: You won’t be risking your future for a few minutes of pleasure now.

* Simplicity: You won’t have to worry about birth control.

* Security: It feels safer to know a person better, and wait until you think this is the person you may want to spend the rest of your life with.

* Self-respect: You’ll know that you are able to stand up for what is right for you.

 

Once back to normal (whatever that is) will we appreciate this time of abstinence.

 

What did you learn?