Inevitable

 

Some say there are two things that are inevitable: Death & Taxes.

Seems everything dies around here sooner or later (except maybe rocks) but taxes?

Taxes are good because it means everyone chips in on the guns and planes and dinners for elective officials who make our laws and give themselves raises. Who would fix the roads or bridges or build the opulent cathedrals to our constitution without taxes?

If you have looked at the latest tax forms (and there are lots of them) the verbiage is as complicated lawyers can make it with gray areas for interpretation and loophole for those who know how to play this game.

Yet there is one more thing that is inevitable.

Puberty.

If we live long enough, suddenly without warning our body goes haywire. We start to stretch and smell and hair starts growing out of the weirdest places. Our guts change around and we start to feel weird (not sick, but weird). Some will become shapely and bleed while others will lower their voices and get boners.

There is no way to avoid it.

Puberty is inevitable.

You just have to deal with shaving, brassieres, jock straps, flirting, premature ejaculations, deodorants and an adjustment to becoming goofy without understanding the hormones that are changing your life’s perspective.

Becoming a religious zealot or becoming a blonde or playing golf or writing computer code or eating sushi or wearing cut offs are all choices. It is pretty much inevitable what skin color you are born with for it is harder to transition other than the plumbing you are using.

Just like being educated in civics or sex, puberty was never talked about in my household. Schools or churches or family or friends could ware you what was coming.

We all did it together. There was no way to stop it or go back.

We just all became awkward and fumbled around until we were classified as ‘adults’.

It is not inevitable that you will have romance, love, sex or even clear skin. It is not inevitable that you will go to college and make a good grade or catch the winning pitch or go to the prom or have children or cope with depression or have a heart attack or sleep under a bridge or get audited by the government or have a legacy.

Whether you plan for or ‘it’ just sneaks up on you, it is inevitable you will become some ashes in a jar or a box full of rotting bones in the ground.

Now time to pay my taxes.