Estrangement

 

The estrangement is no longer being on friendly terms or part of a social group.

The estrangement is no longer living with one’s spouse or separation without communication.

Maybe the most common estrangement is a divorce/break-up of a romantic relationship. How many still talk to their ex?

We become estranged from classmates, workmates, friends and lovers and even family members.

Estrangement might be a choice or a time of passage.

Being a hermit, I’ve lost track of friends over the years. They move to another address I’ve lost or change a phone number or have other interest. Other than one social media app, there are no letters, calls or visits. When the power goes out, being alone in the darkness.

Some might be fun to meet again after years and hopefully find some interesting conversations. Others are better left apart.

I had a semi-dysfunctional family. The parent folks did take good care of the boys and we learn which fork to use for dinner but there was little emotional upbringing. Can’t tell you any tales my father would have passed down from his father or cooking tips from my mother. When they finally got the boys out of the house, I still lived in town so Sunday dinner was a regular occasion. I had to do research to find out their semi-famous showbiz history. I’m sure they taught me things but there were no memorable moments. Even the photographs were stagnant.

Then my father died.

My mother went off the deep end and I was the only one in town. The stories are too numerous to tell but the relationship became a physiological strain. After years my brother and I found a place she could be situated with meals, cleaning and health care until she finally gave up.

At that point I became estranged with my mother.

When she died I sat in the yard and wondered why I should be feeling? It didn’t matter. It was over.

There are others who estrangement releases emotions to others and sure others feel the same for me. There might be memories or photos but our connection is over.

Just another life.

Trophy Hunting

 

“Trophy hunting,” specifically, is a form of hunting in which the hunter's explicit goal is to obtain the hunted animal’s carcass or body part, such as the head or hide, as a trophy that represents the success of the hunt.

If you ever been in a home where there is a animal head on the wall to show someone has gone out and killed an innocent defenseless animal and had it disembowel to mount upon the wall as a trophy. Whether to prove a macho accolade or just have a hat rack, it symbolizes an unnecessary brutal death for a showpiece to impress others.

While that senseless bloodletting might sound appalling (unless you wear fur and eat meat) there is another activity for ‘Trophy Hunting’.

For the fella’s who leave work, splash on some High Karate or Brute and go to the local pub to check out the ladies, they are ‘Trophy Hunting’. Fueled by alcohol the pride searches for a trophy. It may be the true love with a younger and prettier partner than the one who is waiting at home or might just be a conquest for the evening.

Now all you feminist getting up in arms, remember if YOU weren’t there, it is just a sports bar. You feed the fuel with the tight dresses and the high heels and the O’Dea Colona and flirting to bad jokes to get someone to pay for your drinks.

Whether it turns into true romance or just a wonder if you’ve gotten an STD, tomorrow is just another safari into the jungle of love.0

Tourist or Nomads?

 

You see them. They are everywhere. Wandering around looking confused. They maybe in groups and some are even bused in. They don’t dress like the homies and are usually carrying too much stuff. 

They hang around amusement parks and old European cities. They ask too many questions and are always eating.

Are they tourist or nomads?

They don’t live here and are just passing through. Do they have a home to go back to or are they looking for a place to call home? Migration is how we populate the land so we wander.

Maybe the term ‘tourist’ shouldn’t get the disrespect of the townies. They will be gone soon and another batch will arrive to take their place. Some may like it here and decide to stay. Some must continue to search.

Some might be homeless.

Water, Water Everywhere

 

…And not a drop to drink.

 

Maybe you didn’t notice while sitting in your air-conditioning straining the grid because the $20 a gallon of gas is too much to travel and buy a $10 loaf of bread while avoiding all the Karens and flying bullets that the rivers are drying up.

 

The Danube, the Loire, the River Po, The Rhine, The Yangtze River, and The Colorado River are drying up due to drought and heat. Too many wild fires, too many monsoon rains, the oceans are rising and the rivers are falling.

 

While we might be sad to lose the recreational experience of tumbling over rocks on a surfboard but when you turn the facet and nothing comes out? Those stacks of plastic bottles have all disappeared. There will be brown lawns, no hot tubs, no swimming pools, no water slides, no car wash. There will be no long luscious bubble baths or clean dishes. No more beer!

 

We forget those ferries and barges gliding up and down the river have a purpose but it is too shallow to sail. This will increase traffic thus increase pollution thus increase prices. If this keeps going there will be no romantic selfies by a dried up waterfall.

 

Others make these rivers their homes. Not only a source for drinking but for building shelters, raising families and bathing. A fish has no where else to go.

 

So while the heat and humidity rings the sweat out of us, we may want to save that water.

 

Don’t forget to hydrate.

How Do You Listen To Music?

 

Whether you put on your air pads for you jog or put your headphones to turn up the volume or construct an audio system with gigantic speakers trying to duplicate the blast of a concert that will get the neighbors to drive you out.

At this age, even the memories of standing next to the ‘Grateful Dead’ speakers or that night when you turned up your volume to 11, it has consequences. Many are wearing plastic amplifiers in their ears just to hear a conversation.

Playing electric guitar, I did make some noise but tried not to go away with that hum in my head. Maybe I didn’t play that loud? Lucky me.

I’ve also recorded many sounds with headphones. Again, I’ve not blasted out my eardrums trying to find that ultimate tone. Some have and paid the price.

The situation with music now is the arrangement.

I listen to all types of music. I even listen to ‘music’ I’ve made through the years. I used to sit back and just enjoy the song as performed.

There are many videos of taking popular songs apart and how they were constructed back in the time. Then it became samples that blurred how artist and engineers and producers work.

Since ‘music’ now is mostly jingles, I avoid most unless it catches my ear. When I hear a tune that wants to be repeated, I tin to take apart the song and apply (in my ear) different arrangements.

What would this sound like with horns? How about some strings? Add a chorus? More drums? More echo?

It may be engrained in me.

Those two minute pop songs that were ‘La-La-La’ and everyone hopped around to the mega concerts to lots and lots of kids pressed together in the open air fist pumping to sounds they cannot understand.

When you turn on the radio, enjoy what you hear. Remember the first time you heard “My Girl” was in your car 3” speaker.

Quiet Quitting

 

The term has become popular.

Aug. 23, 2022. “I recently learned about this term called 'quiet quitting' where you're not outright quitting your job, but you're quitting the idea of going above and beyond,” says Zaiad Khan, of TikTok.

It is a different time for employment. First there are no jobs and then there are lots of jobs. People work at home and people work in offices. People work in fields, on streets, on rooftops, running wires, digging ditches, laying pipe and driving gigantic machines to dig the dirt or deliver the goods.

There seems to be a union movement going on to represent workers who were working on a time clock. If you worked beyond your designated shift was called ‘overtime’ and you were paid time and a half. Overtime has to be approved by a supervisor. So trying to get ahead in the career line, one had to suck up to the boss for more hours and making an impression on management to move you up the job ladder.

The employment application asked basic questions but until the job description was defined was a career path formed. Once hired, a supervisor showed the technique to achieve your assigned tasked. You were also given when to arrive at work, when there were breaks and clocking out when the whistle blew. It was pretty simple.

So now ‘quiet quitting’ means work to accomplish your task…then stop.

When we had test in school, the teacher would had out the question and then say ‘Begin’ expecting everyone to follow the instructions and then put the pencils and paper down when the teacher said, “Stop”. It was pretty simple.

Then there were a few who always raised their hands asking if we should double-space the answers or use a #2 pencil or if they could be excused to get a drink of water. You know who they are.

Then there were the go-getters. Can I get you another cup of coffee? Can I volunteer to participate in the company event wearing a goofy t-shirt and handing out promotional cups or pamphlets on a weekend away from your family?

I worked with people who avoided accomplishing a task they were hired for. I supervised people who had been previously instructed to only perform the assigned task.

I don’t work now but I wonder where this trend is going. Will the Uber driver drop you off at the side of the road saying their shift is over? Will the checkout cashier at Target walk off in the middle of your purchase to take a break? Will the 911-call be completed when the bell rings?

I remember management looking over shoulders of employees. How many hours on the phone? How many bathroom breaks? Did you arrive on time? Did you leave early?

Good luck to the quiet quitters. Unfortunately the digital age has a time clock on your every movement. Even at home, someone is watching.

If you decide to really quit, they are hiring at Burger World.

Waiting To Die

 

There comes a time in life when your age matches those on the obituaries page. Everything you looked forward to like the first kiss, having sex, getting a career instead of a job, buying a car, buying a house, raising a family, getting a pet, getting married, getting divorced, getting arrested, buying toys, getting a promotion, being fired, growing bald, getting fat, surviving a auto crash, throwing up, diagnosed with a disease, learning to swim, shooting a gun, being caught cheating, burying your parents…and so on is over.

Been there and done that.

You have cooked and tasted all the foods and traveled wherever you wanted. You bought all the shoes and have more tee shirts than fit the closet. You’ve learned how to talk and read and make friends and appreciate art and music. Half of everyone you knew have disappeared and the others are scattered around the world.

You are now at an age when the only thing to look forward to is dying.

As morbid as that sounds, one must be realistic. All those wonderful photos of happy elderly citizens who have lasted this long and are in the ’60 or better’ homes enjoying the last years of life playing games and dancing and eating food prepared by someone else maybe a misnomer.

Those old folk are sitting most of the day, playing a rousing game of cribbage or (if they are ambulatory) a wild game of shuffleboard. Wearing clothing that is 30 years out of style is common. Shoes have gone from stylist to big comfortable clogs to scrap about in. A game of tennis or golf has turned into naptime. Sitting by the pool is under an umbrella talking about times gone by and numbing with drinks until the next pill dosage. Being close to the bathroom is more important than being close to the dance floor.

Old age shows you the limitations of the body. What doesn’t appear as a pain on the outside proves the abuse given the innards takes its toil. Everything that used to be easy becomes strained. Age is not for sissies and some don’t make it.

If illness puts your butt in bed, you may never come out. Once the medical profession gets its hands on you there is no way out. Promises of improving a fading life with pills and potions and bills your time can be extended until the money runs out.

It is just another life. No one gets out of here alive. So why not be real about where you are and where you are going. At any minute a house from Kansas could fall on your head or that scratch that used to heal in a day doesn’t seem to get better.

If the calendar page turns again just means you are another step closer. If it doesn’t, you’ve expired date is up.

Queer

 

The word “Queer” was only used as something odd or unusual.

The word “Queer” was used in Junior High School to demean other boys. It was used to defame boys as not being normal. Boys were called “Queer” or “Homo” or “Faggot” without any understanding of what it meant.

In elementary school no one understood what ‘sex’ was about. We were too busy trying to fit in with others of our own gender. Boys were scared of showing their wee-wee to others at Physical Education showers.

Queer is an umbrella term for people who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar", queer came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century. Beginning in the late 1980s, queer activists, such as the members of Queer Nation, began to reclaim the word as a deliberately provocative and politically radical alternative to the more assimilationist branches of the LGBT community.

In the 21st century, queer became increasingly used to describe a broad spectrum of non-normative sexual and/or gender identities and politics. Academic disciplines such as queer theory and queer studies share a general opposition to binarism, normativity, and a perceived lack of intersectional, some of them only tangentially connected to the LGBT movement. Queer arts, queer cultural groups, and queer political groups are examples of modern expressions of queer identities.

Now back in the day, no one discussed what went on in the bedroom. No one who was in our church or school or scouts or any group was considered “Queer”. Some danced better or sang show tunes better and were more flamboyant, but they had not come out of the closet.

Critics of the use of the term include members of the LGBT community who associate the term more with its colloquial, derogatory usage, those who wish to dissociate themselves from queer radicalism, and those who see it as amorphous and trendy. Queer is sometimes expanded to include any non-normative sexuality, including cisgender queer heterosexuality, although some LGBTQ people view this use of the term as appropriation.

I can’t remember my first association with one who would be classified “Queer” now. Perhaps it was when a sleep over turned into a naked wrestling match but a premature ejaculation ended it. Dance clubs of the disco era started turning men dancing with men (women dancing with women was always acceptable because boys didn’t want to dance). Everything seemed ‘normal’ until the guy in the next urinal started to smile at my johnson.

Even camps were divided between boys and girls but all of us were finding ways to work it out.

In the 80’s with the announcement of AIDS everyone who identified as ‘Queer’ came out of the closet and raised the rainbow flag as their symbol.

Today there are pride parades and everyone from drag queens to transvestites touts their sexual prowess as never seen before (above ground).  Does it make a difference?

Recognizing diversity in our culture is important. We (the proverbial ‘We’) accepted different immigration types, certain hairstyles and even adopted food taste as long as they looked like ‘us’ (white) and didn’t mess with our established protestant moral behavior.

What went on in the bedroom was sacrosanct and never discussed in proper company, but there was always whispers and gossip. No one ever suggested Aunt Thelma as being queer for not having a husband. No one ever thought of a teacher or a preacher being a little too familiar with a child. No one wanted to be ostracized for his or her sexual preference. No one suggested his or her parent might…?

When the first ‘token’ person of color was hired in the office, it was the law and people had to adapt to a difference they didn’t not choose. With a little association most found understandings and friendships with people who were avoided before. Then women moved up the ladder and broke the glass ceiling to supervise men.

Yet the queer movement branded itself with the rainbow flag and partied in the street calling attention to them. The critics may be fearful of their own sexuality or just rascality bias. What was never spoken of before is now brazenly shown to the world.

If a boy wanted to be a girl, there was the option of dressing drag, but now if a boy wants to be identified as a girl or a girl wants to be indentified as a boy or better yet non-binary, there are new queer options. Where do you go to the bathroom?

Unfortunately the polarizing of the society into ‘us’ versus ‘them’ continues to create potty mouth speak in social media instead of education and understanding. Keep books out of libraries because aged parents fear the unknown until their children explain it doesn’t matter.

I’ve known several queers and maybe more that I didn’t know identified in the shadows. When I was hired in the office there were several queers though there were no rainbow flags yet. The application asked about religion and education but not sexual preference. There was no drug test.

My company was mostly southern redneck environment having troubles conforming to integration and the end of the lost cause. Women were still being abused and harassed and blacks understood their place. Status quo.

Times change.

Tonight as I rock on the porch listening to the rain with a cold drink I will watch the lights turn off on the houses across the street and know something is going on in the dark bedroom. Is there bondage? Is there dominatrix? Is their video porn? Is there sexual deviation we have never discussed yet?

I get annoyed with flagrant prognostications of agendas. Whether it be queer or black or immigrant or women or abused or…. hearing the discussion continuously become boring. I’ve become educated and understand but become bored with the repetition. I don’t need to be reminded that Lynard Skynard plays in front of a confederate flag when the monuments have come down (finally).

Time will find new titles and identifies for our sexual preference. Some will and some won’t. Evolution goes on.

Isn't that Queer?

Conductor

 

Watching an orchestration piece the other day and thought about the conductor.

A conductor is a person who directs the performance of an orchestra or choir.

A conductor is a person in charge of a train, streetcar, or other public conveyance, who collects fares and sells tickets.

A conductor is a substance or body capable of transmitting light, electricity, heat, or sound. Copper is a good conductor of electricity.

So here is this person who walks out on a stage in front of seated musicians, turns his or her back on the audience, picks up a chop stick and waves it in the air and the music starts. Multiple musicians play the complicated piece of music in time and on point with the conductor guiding them silently. When the music stops and the applause begin, the conductor turns around and takes a bow.

What did the conductor do? Didn’t play any instrument. Just waved a stick and receives appreciation.

The conductor doesn’t need to be the composer, but is assigned to get a group of individuals to play for audience music as well as they are capable. The conductor has to work with each section of the orchestra to find the best arrangement for the group assembled. Then the conductor practice all the assembled until they all work well together.

On the night of the presentation, the conductor walks out on the stage hoping all the preparation will be rewarded in a fine performance. The oboe player just had a romantic breakup. The French horn player has a daughter in the hospital. The piccolo player car needs new brakes and the second violinist is pregnant. The brass need to calm down so they don’t over blast the woodwinds and when the percussion comes in the strings will be lost.

The conductor is the captain of the ship on the stage and must keep all the parts working together to earn the applause. Whether the band is in the pit for a show tune or a power packed stadium festival, someone has to conduct the show. Improvisation is great in clubs but when a musical group only has so many minutes of stage time, the conductor keeps the pace. A glance or a point can pick out a wrong note for future discipline.

A boss or supervisor is a conductor. They are in charge of multiple personalities and abilities to accomplish a goal. If everyone doesn’t follow the sheet of music note-by-note, adjustments must be made.

You are the conductor of your life. You are handed options and opinions and decisions and as a conductor you choose the best for you.

Tickets please.

Relationships

 

The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected is called a relationship.

We all have relationships with whomever we come in contact with (unless we live on the moon).

They may be close relationships or a passing relationship. There are work relationships (that can turn romantic) or school relationships. There are religious relationships or family relationships (that cannot be avoided because we all share the same last name). There are team relationships, supervisor/employee relationships, and friend’s relationships. There are neighbor relationships and relationships with the checkout assistants at the daily trip to the Tummy Temple. If they talk to you everyday, you have a relationship (even if they don’t know your name).

Then there are stranger’s relationships. A perfect stranger walks up to you and says something. Without any knowledge of this person’s background, your immediate relationship has to assume the worse, diagnose on the words spoken and figure out a response. Think about that the next time you strike up a conversation on a barstool.

Some relationships last the sands of times and some fade away.

Relationships change over time. Some get better. Some don’t.

When you meet someone you used to know awhile back, it is hard to pickup on that old relationship. People change.

The person you have a relationship with might only know one incident you both discussed and is the constant topic of conversation. Another person may have grown even more interesting than before and the conversation of ideas can expand making the relationship stronger.

Next time you meet someone, before you speak, think this might be the beginning of a wonderful relationship.

Budget

 

We all have a budget; even the government. You collect so much cash to use for what you want to spend. If you don’t have enough money you check bounces or you have to switch payment from a credit account. If you can’t pay your bills you go into collection. If you can’t pay collection, your stuff is reprocessed and you are declared bankrupt. If not you go to pauper’s prison to work hard labor for the rest of your life.

So we invented a thing called ‘work’ where one person says they will pay you an amount of acceptable currency to do a chore. If you succeed to perform the job to satisfaction, you may continue to earn money and thus make a budget of an income.

With this income as a regular salary, you can pay for your necessities and possibly put some away for savings. The savings can be used for high-ticket items like autos and houses (not relating on the number of offspring).

We pay our bills, but don’t question the eternal addition of fees and increases for what never changed. We don’t question how much of our taxes are given away to other countries or how many bombs and guns we need to defend our neighborhood. If gasoline prices go up, we have two choices. Pay (and gripe) about the increase or don’t drive.

Worked with departmental budgets before. The ‘company’ assigns so much money for a department to have. The manager is allowed to divide the money for salaries and supplies. If under budget, the manager gets a bonus or maybe another title. No one ever looked ahead to evaluating the available budget to expand the value of the department and add to the stockholder’s wealth.

I, personally, try to maintain a budget. I didn’t always balance the books and had to go through some hard times, but with a “fixed” budget, I take a second thought about what I ‘want/need’ to consume. That is just I.

Unfortunately, with more time to listen to the news and research some of the facts and figures, I see reports of our government (who ½ of us pay taxes to) make these astronomical bills assigning money to all sorts of public works that will help the voters knowing full well that new commissions or task forces or bureaucracy will have to be credit assigned how to distribute the piles of dough throughout the country with staff to be hired for resources and offices with desk and telephones and computers set up to function this trickle down return of our government budget.

Whether any of these quadrillion dollars reach their intended destination will be evaluated on podcast influencers and touted by political aristocrats trying to be reelected.

I’ll just wonder if only ½ of the households pay taxes and the government is handing out cash, how do we balance a budget?

Extinction

 

Wonder what the dinosaurs thought when they saw the asteroid? Or maybe it was a pandemic and they didn’t have any serums? Or maybe the almighty smite them off? Wonder why there were no dinosaurs in the Bible? Maybe they were extinct before God arrived?

Every year there are list of animals that no longer exist on this planet we call home. Were there too many humans taking up space? Not enough food or water? Was there over hunting or fishing? Pollution? Whatever the reason, they are no longer here and will not come back. Their species are not extinct.

What will the next arrivals think about us?

Did they know what they were doing? Did they know they were terminating themselves? Did they not care?

They wore out the atmosphere until there was no shelter from the sun. They knew burning the dinosaurs caused global warming but they kept driving. The floods and wild fires came and they didn’t listen to the plagues.

Now the Homo sapiens are extinct and the only thing that is left is rusting hulks of mobile machines and plastics. Just to make it perfect, the rotting nuclear waste is a good mixture to the stew.

What did they call this third planet from the sun?

Earth

Swear

 

Solemnly swear

Solemn is very serious or formal in manner, behavior, or expression a solemn procession a solemn face, done or made seriously and thoughtfully a solemn promise

To tell the truth

Why not tell the truth? Any lie will be found out. The truth will set you free.

Fear of perjury

Perjury is the intentional act of swearing a false oath or falsifying an affirmation to tell the truth, whether spoken or in writing, concerning matters material to an official proceeding. A person convicted of perjury under federal law may face up to five years in prison. Perjury also carries fines and probation, depending on the context and the severity of the crime. Potential federal penalties for suborning perjury or making false statements are similar.

So help you God

Who’s God? Which God?