Estrangement

 

The estrangement is no longer being on friendly terms or part of a social group.

The estrangement is no longer living with one’s spouse or separation without communication.

Maybe the most common estrangement is a divorce/break-up of a romantic relationship. How many still talk to their ex?

We become estranged from classmates, workmates, friends and lovers and even family members.

Estrangement might be a choice or a time of passage.

Being a hermit, I’ve lost track of friends over the years. They move to another address I’ve lost or change a phone number or have other interest. Other than one social media app, there are no letters, calls or visits. When the power goes out, being alone in the darkness.

Some might be fun to meet again after years and hopefully find some interesting conversations. Others are better left apart.

I had a semi-dysfunctional family. The parent folks did take good care of the boys and we learn which fork to use for dinner but there was little emotional upbringing. Can’t tell you any tales my father would have passed down from his father or cooking tips from my mother. When they finally got the boys out of the house, I still lived in town so Sunday dinner was a regular occasion. I had to do research to find out their semi-famous showbiz history. I’m sure they taught me things but there were no memorable moments. Even the photographs were stagnant.

Then my father died.

My mother went off the deep end and I was the only one in town. The stories are too numerous to tell but the relationship became a physiological strain. After years my brother and I found a place she could be situated with meals, cleaning and health care until she finally gave up.

At that point I became estranged with my mother.

When she died I sat in the yard and wondered why I should be feeling? It didn’t matter. It was over.

There are others who estrangement releases emotions to others and sure others feel the same for me. There might be memories or photos but our connection is over.

Just another life.