Queer

 

The word “Queer” was only used as something odd or unusual.

The word “Queer” was used in Junior High School to demean other boys. It was used to defame boys as not being normal. Boys were called “Queer” or “Homo” or “Faggot” without any understanding of what it meant.

In elementary school no one understood what ‘sex’ was about. We were too busy trying to fit in with others of our own gender. Boys were scared of showing their wee-wee to others at Physical Education showers.

Queer is an umbrella term for people who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar", queer came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century. Beginning in the late 1980s, queer activists, such as the members of Queer Nation, began to reclaim the word as a deliberately provocative and politically radical alternative to the more assimilationist branches of the LGBT community.

In the 21st century, queer became increasingly used to describe a broad spectrum of non-normative sexual and/or gender identities and politics. Academic disciplines such as queer theory and queer studies share a general opposition to binarism, normativity, and a perceived lack of intersectional, some of them only tangentially connected to the LGBT movement. Queer arts, queer cultural groups, and queer political groups are examples of modern expressions of queer identities.

Now back in the day, no one discussed what went on in the bedroom. No one who was in our church or school or scouts or any group was considered “Queer”. Some danced better or sang show tunes better and were more flamboyant, but they had not come out of the closet.

Critics of the use of the term include members of the LGBT community who associate the term more with its colloquial, derogatory usage, those who wish to dissociate themselves from queer radicalism, and those who see it as amorphous and trendy. Queer is sometimes expanded to include any non-normative sexuality, including cisgender queer heterosexuality, although some LGBTQ people view this use of the term as appropriation.

I can’t remember my first association with one who would be classified “Queer” now. Perhaps it was when a sleep over turned into a naked wrestling match but a premature ejaculation ended it. Dance clubs of the disco era started turning men dancing with men (women dancing with women was always acceptable because boys didn’t want to dance). Everything seemed ‘normal’ until the guy in the next urinal started to smile at my johnson.

Even camps were divided between boys and girls but all of us were finding ways to work it out.

In the 80’s with the announcement of AIDS everyone who identified as ‘Queer’ came out of the closet and raised the rainbow flag as their symbol.

Today there are pride parades and everyone from drag queens to transvestites touts their sexual prowess as never seen before (above ground).  Does it make a difference?

Recognizing diversity in our culture is important. We (the proverbial ‘We’) accepted different immigration types, certain hairstyles and even adopted food taste as long as they looked like ‘us’ (white) and didn’t mess with our established protestant moral behavior.

What went on in the bedroom was sacrosanct and never discussed in proper company, but there was always whispers and gossip. No one ever suggested Aunt Thelma as being queer for not having a husband. No one ever thought of a teacher or a preacher being a little too familiar with a child. No one wanted to be ostracized for his or her sexual preference. No one suggested his or her parent might…?

When the first ‘token’ person of color was hired in the office, it was the law and people had to adapt to a difference they didn’t not choose. With a little association most found understandings and friendships with people who were avoided before. Then women moved up the ladder and broke the glass ceiling to supervise men.

Yet the queer movement branded itself with the rainbow flag and partied in the street calling attention to them. The critics may be fearful of their own sexuality or just rascality bias. What was never spoken of before is now brazenly shown to the world.

If a boy wanted to be a girl, there was the option of dressing drag, but now if a boy wants to be identified as a girl or a girl wants to be indentified as a boy or better yet non-binary, there are new queer options. Where do you go to the bathroom?

Unfortunately the polarizing of the society into ‘us’ versus ‘them’ continues to create potty mouth speak in social media instead of education and understanding. Keep books out of libraries because aged parents fear the unknown until their children explain it doesn’t matter.

I’ve known several queers and maybe more that I didn’t know identified in the shadows. When I was hired in the office there were several queers though there were no rainbow flags yet. The application asked about religion and education but not sexual preference. There was no drug test.

My company was mostly southern redneck environment having troubles conforming to integration and the end of the lost cause. Women were still being abused and harassed and blacks understood their place. Status quo.

Times change.

Tonight as I rock on the porch listening to the rain with a cold drink I will watch the lights turn off on the houses across the street and know something is going on in the dark bedroom. Is there bondage? Is there dominatrix? Is their video porn? Is there sexual deviation we have never discussed yet?

I get annoyed with flagrant prognostications of agendas. Whether it be queer or black or immigrant or women or abused or…. hearing the discussion continuously become boring. I’ve become educated and understand but become bored with the repetition. I don’t need to be reminded that Lynard Skynard plays in front of a confederate flag when the monuments have come down (finally).

Time will find new titles and identifies for our sexual preference. Some will and some won’t. Evolution goes on.

Isn't that Queer?