Sunday, March 11, 2018

Clean Up On Aisle 12


I don’t know if you have noticed but us Boomer’s is getting really old. Sort of crotchety old with tales of times gone by like Woodstock and Jimi Hendrix and tie-dye and VW buses and yet we still done got to eat. Unless we have lived on the land to follow our freedom and grow all our food (let us not talk about the slaughter of animals) and brown rice is becoming boring over the decades, we have choices to venture into the drive-thru fast food commercially naturally polluted microwave prepared substance the media wants you to consume, wrapped in paper or take the adventure to the ‘Tummy Temple’.
Every Tuesday has been the ‘ole folk’s day’ at my local establishment even though the incentive of saving 5% for being old has gone away. The ole folks are bused in and find the nearest bumper car to slowly wander the aisles choosing only what is within reach. Those sweet family members will make time from their busy days chores to patiently cheer their elderly ancestries hoping for a bigger endowment at the funeral.
The pace of the traffic slows down on Tuesday. There are more confused elderly wandering unsure paths looking for the restrooms and disturbing the stackers with questions about their grandmother’s recipe for lasagna and telling stories of their grandchildren’s antics.
Wednesday is just as bad for this is the time when those who couldn’t make it on the prescribed ‘ole folk’s day’ drag themselves in to fill their prescriptions and load their carts with diet colas and cakes and cookies to enjoy in front of the television until the supplies run out and they must return.
For those of us who can still manage our zippy-zoom carts around the bumper cars and have the patience to wait until the decision between family size and economy size is concluded, these are the times of the Boomer Generation.
As we grow older and if our parents or relatives are still kicking, the Tummy Temple is marked on the calendar as a meet-and greet-and-eat spot. Like any medical establishment, the aisles are filled with walkers and rollers and draggers and shifters and canes and crutches and slow moving traffic on the ‘Ole Folk’ days.
While many of us are joining the parade, I tend to go at the same time every day. I miss the morning rush and try to squeeze in between the lunch crowd and the bus delivery, but sometimes can’t avoid the future. Some days it is good to go as the work crew lets out and the youngsters must interweave between those with an expiration date and try to keep up with their hurried pace of tapping on their screens while ignoring their surroundings.
I make this observation due to last Tuesday was especially congested. Maybe there was a sale on Mucilage or the 2-for-one Kleenex sale was expiring, but the aisles were packed.
Since time is no matter, many detours were made and paths retraced to grab a pack of blueberries and a six-pack of ale. Not venturing out much I wonder if other Temples are as crowded? What about the strip malls or the big box stores? Has our generation taken over the tile floors with pushcarts below the speed limit?
Watching this act of the play reminds me that we all are going through these changes. When those who took care of us must be taken care of.
While going through the TSA of Temple Tummy, I was asked about the ambulance that was there earlier. I do see the first responder’s park their massive mobile watering and ladder machines and decide their ingredients for a group dinner and those in the local medical campus at the produce section in their scrubs, but had not seen an ambulance. So Katy tells me one of her customers dropped and was hauled away.
Well the fact that that can happen to any of us at any time at anyplace but then what? I think we all think the end will come in our own beds surrounded by family but sometimes it just doesn’t happen that way.
So what happens at the Tummy Temple when one of the ole folk decide to check out without paying their bill? If over by the frozen food section, the blue shirts might just put you in the freezer to keep you fresh until the wagon arrives. If you happen to be unfortunate to fall by the guy with the bloody apron you could wind up drawn and quartered wrapped in saran wrap and put on ice for the daily special. Over by the bakery you could wind up as a Hansel and Gretel muffin but most likely they will just drag you out to the back swinging doors and put you on a pallet for return. No one wants to step over your body when selecting pasta or baked beans. 
Yet, the whole idea of someone under duress at a place of business, what is the procedure? I know all the rules and regulations of not discriminating anyone due to frailties or disabilities and reasonable adjustments are made to accommodate, but other than obvious wheel chair or crutches, there is nothing spoken of ‘what would happen if…’ Some CPR classes were given by the Red Cross to any volunteers, then defibrillator machines started appearing and certain people where trained. A company has fire drills now, just like elementary school. What legal responsibility does a workplace have to play doctor? Call 911 and don’t touch the body?
What about a shooting?

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