Census

Are you still worried about all the personal information Facebook gave away? Still trying to find a way to keep your privacy away from snooping nannies?

Fear not – the census is coming.

Now don’t get your kister in a bunch, it is just the government’s way of finding all those dirty little secrets you’ve been hiding.

A census is the procedure of systematically acquiring and recording information about the members of a given population. This information is used for population movement, housing requirements, political representation, traffic patterns, school locations, and other cool stuff.  

Don’t worry, it only happens ever 10 years.

The census during the Roman Republic was a list that kept track of all adult males fit for military service. Now it is just a survey of who you are, what do you do, how many live here, how much money you make, what kind of car do you drive, where did you get those shoes, do you hand wash or machine wash your dishes, when was the last time you went to church, do you have any communicable diseases, what is your political persuasion, is that your real hair color, what news channel do you watch, what teams do you root for, and so on and so on.

A census can be contrasted with sampling in which information is obtained only from a subset of a population; typically main population estimates are updated by such estimates. Modern census data are commonly used for research, business marketing, and planning, and as a baseline for designing sample surveys by providing a sampling frame such as an address register. Census counts are necessary to adjust samples to be representative of a population by weighting them as is common in opinion polling. Similarly, stratification requires knowledge of the relative sizes of different population strata that can be derived from census enumerations. In some countries, the census provides the official counts used to apportion the number of elected representatives to regions. In many cases, a carefully chosen random sample can provide more accurate information than attempts to get a population census. Got that?

Some sets can be enumerated (An enumeration is a complete, ordered listing of all the items in a collection. The term is commonly used in mathematics and computer science to refer to a listing of all of the elements of a set. The precise requirements for an enumeration depend on the discipline of study and the context of a given problem) by means of a natural ordering, but in other cases it may be necessary to impose a ordering. In other words, lots of folks will run the numbers through computers and manipulate the numbers for whatever purposes it serves.

With all that hubbajubba said, I remember a person knocking on the front door asking to come into the living room and ask questions. The person was well dressed and had some sort of badge to look official. The person also looked like someone who would attend the Sunday church service. Back then we trusted the government and answered whatever question they asked. We weren’t commies, I don’t think?

I don’t remember if we had to sign a pledge that our answers were right but the person left with only my blood on the steps.

The last census I remember was mailed. Check the boxes like a SAT and sign at the bottom of the page. I think I even had to pay for the stamp.

Were the answers true? Could they have been as swayed as the taxes? Of course I have twenty kids and twelve houses to deduct and have been out of work for so many years.

I don’t know about you, but I have nothing to hide. Whether Wilber comes stops by and sits on the porch with his ledger or I get an email to fill out a form, I’ll take the time. This is important information and I’m just a number on the list.

Just remember you have no secrets. The government knows your address, social security number, bank account and so much more; so enjoy the time to refresh your data.