Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do


After another exciting adventure of cinematic adventures in my dreams, I awake to the mythologist (Meteorology is a branch of the atmospheric sciences that includes atmospheric chemistry and atmospheric physics, with a major focus on weather forecasting.) tells me “It is going to be a hot one!”
Good enough for me as I sweep the WWW in search of something more interesting than the Jews and Palestinians battling over a fence or the president’s wife pee-pee problem. There are more important things to worry about as the sun comes up to revel the destruction of last night’s storm. Yes sir, the trees were dancing but all held their ground here. Better start early so I’ll wash off yesterdays and days before and the days before grunge and find a t-shirt that is not damp and dingy.
The air is thick. There is that sticky yucky smell that permeates the yard. Somewhat overcast so the drying out will take some effort as I saddle up and ride off without noticing any major neighborhood herbal eradication.
Now the brain was racing as I accomplished my goal to find a prepared meal to sustain life for another day without being robbed or shot or just lost in this wilderness of life.
Spread out the buffet hoping to see the new arrivals around dusk, I mop myself off and hydrate awaiting a man to come by and tell me how I can spend my money.
Unfortunately for me (and you the reader) there is this thought stuck in my mind? I like to write about relationships because everyone has them and they are all the same and they are all different.
It is a wonder we get anything done while constantly trying to get into or out of a relationship. I won’t get into all the psychological explanations on why we need companionship, but it sure takes up time…. and effort.
All that trouble of “I ‘’ You!” “Do You ‘’ Me?” and all the variations to that theme. It is like getting a pet. You got to feed this other critter and walk with them and go shopping for stuff to please them and sleep with them no matter how smelly or noisy they are.
It must be worth it due to the multiple industries depending on Valentines and Birthdays and Marriages and fashion and houses and children stuff and lawn care and country clubs and bridge clubs and bars and late nights and out-of-town conventions and unknown phone numbers and strange bank withdrawals and sad funerals before the cycle starts all over again.
Breaking up a relationship, as far as I can remember, was more about losing interest or contact more than the face-to-face “I don’t ‘’ you anymore” event. That takes some righteous gonads and I’m not that strong, so I’d rather it wither away but you don’t always get that chance.
Yet I understand that all encompassing feeling of being overcome by the constant thought of someone else and only wishing to be with them every waking and sleeping hour and being devoted to their every word. Homo sapiens are a bunch of saps.
Still this recent “This American Life” (highly recommended and thanks for the endorsement checks Ira) caught my ear as a fine example of the teen angst of heartbreak we’ve all experienced.
Take a listen, shed a tear or have a chuckle.

Oh, and Anthony, whoever you are, sorry we didn’t get your side of the story. Maybe the girl in Canada was such a hotsey-totsey that…. What’s her name (?) couldn’t compare, but dude I would suggest breaking up on New Year’s eve is rather cold.
Good luck to all the others who will go through the experience. I can only tell you enjoy the ride, it is part of life.

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