Before the next debate

 

We learned a few lessons from the last debates, but we should consider some changes for the next ones.

The stage appears rather blank; an empty floor with just a podium for each contestant. They stand in front of a wall of an enlarged section of the Constitution or some diner’s menu if you try to read it. Who chooses which section of the Constitution should be displayed? Should this be the contestant’s propaganda instead? Let’s keep it jazzy. You want the view to pay attention.

If the debaters wear dark clothing against a dark background even under the spotlights they will become floating heads and hands. Maybe a green screen would spice things up. Lighting colors that change with the intensity of the verbiage would raise the ratings. Save the fireworks for the ending.

The big old Eagle overhead doesn’t do much to say “America”. How about a wall of flags? The flag is used in parades and every press conference. It is the symbol that shows being a patriot. Maybe like every state flag since this is about uniting the country.

Let’s start this thing off with a bang. Instead of two (or more) folks coming out on the stage waving at an invisible crowd of reporter and technical stage hands, how about some music to start things off and keep everyone awake?

Next instead of some repetitive introduction in a two-minute time limit how about a pledge of alliance to the flag(s)? We used to do that in the classroom before school went digital.

A rousing National Anthem would be a good start. We start ballgames this way to bring opposing teams together. The public might find who has the best voice? They might also learn who knows the words?

The next request would be a biggie! The Supreme Court chief justice would have each candidate to swear on a bible that they would…”Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help them God!” No fact checking required.

The two-minute mute is a good but needs to be automatic so the moderator doesn’t let them ramble on to finish a thought with a scolding reminder. They have a clock. Cut them off mid sentence. If they can’t follow these rules, how will they run a country?

Some sound affects might be fun to add to the serious nature of this contest. A whoopee whistle or a Bronx cheer now and then would tell the debater they’d flubbed up before it hit the nightly news opinion makers. Add the sound of a squeaky shoe or the occasional puff of flatulence would keep the audience attention.

Instead of these two showing their physical stamina by standing for almost two hours, give them a chair (or stool) so they can rest between mouthing the words they’ve been repeating over and over again. Maybe while one is talking the other can just kind of wander aimlessly around the stage. That would be distracting unless they decided to try out the ramp?

An over powering blast of music and fireworks and applause sound recorded earlier by real people would lead to a fast bow from each and a fade out. No one needs to see their significant other climb up on the stage to show support and keep the kids home. No confetti for they will go ablaze with the fireworks and the morning news will report the survivors of the building burning down.

These are just a few ideas. Perhaps a marching band to play the National Anthem? Some cheerleaders shaking their pom-poms between questions might clear the palate. No civil handshakes for these are opponents.

Add your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below.