How Did The Proposal Go?

How did you propose or get proposed to? Was the proposal a surprise or expected? Was it on one knee or a casual “Yah wanna?” Was there a ring or just a handshake? Was it face-to-face or through a tweet?

A marriage proposal is somewhat a question of if the other person wants to spend the rest of their life with you and only you. That is a biggie!

Since it is that lovey-dovey time of year with all the hearts and flowers and chocolate and candles and long looks into each other’s eyes, the time is right for popping the question.

Some seem to make gigantic productions out of the moment while others seem to just naturally slip into an agreeable contract.

“I’m engaged” can sooth the worried parents that a commitment has been agreed to, even without a set date. “I’m engaged” might also sound a right of passage. “I’m engaged” also means finding a site, invitations, uniforms… er, outfits, music, preachers or justice-of-the-peace, photographers and most important a deadline. That is when it gets real.

I don’t remember how or who proposed at my first marriage. I remember we had a good party and said the right things at the right time and the ceremony was very proper and the rings were handcrafted but I have no idea how we got there. I do remember the proposal to end it.

The second marriage was my fault. She had already moved into my house (that’s another story) and we seemed to get along fine after a couple of years. We were standing in the living room and I said, “I think we are pretty good at this.” That was all it took and the wedding magazines started stacking up. There was no white wedding dress or music or caterer or church or rings but it was in the same city.

A proposal to ask someone else you assume would like to spend the rest of time with is a formidable question with uncertain responses. Most hope for a “Yes!” answer, but ‘what if’ could be a shattering psychological crush and a real ego buster. When lost in the emotional rapture of the romantic moment can one logically understand future possibilities of the long distant run? Are you ready for the consequences of the answer?

Do you follow the proper procedure of asking her father for her hand when that is not the part you want? Do you wait until the honeymoon? Does she wear white? Do you get a prenup? Do get a lawyer before signing? Do you request a medical examination? Do you hire a private investigator for a background check?