I Didn’t Get The Memo

Where do I start? Maybe I didn’t have security clearance or maybe I just wasn’t on the cc list, but I never got the memo.

So used to the immediacy of pressing send and knowing full well the memo and it’s important contents would be read by everyone who would normally pass by it thumbtack to the bulletin board, one forgets the information never got there.

Instead of taking time with hand written notes and then having your secretary grammatically corrected your scribble and typing it up so you can revise your thoughts and your secretary (is that an assumption?) or assistant or typing pool or office manager or whatever the title of someone who sits in front of a manual (or for the big wigs) electric typewriter all day can retype the information for your final review and signature on the official Memo letterhead and then tri-fold and place into a brown envelope and put in the ‘out’ box where sometime during the day a runner will pick up the envelope and deliver it to another’s office ‘in’ box where maybe the same day or next the other person will read the Memo and reverse the procedure to reply. Once the two parties (or multiple input without a sit down face-to-face meeting in a conference room) agree on what the Memo should provide everyone else who the request, notification or order is either copied multiple times and sent out the via inter-office mail or posted on a communal corkboard intending to be noticed by everyone only to be torn off or covered up with more Memos.

I think I missed the Memo about all this gender defining stuff I’m reading more and more about. From what I heard, whether you were blue or pink was determined at birth by your plumbing and that is how you were named ‘boy’ or ‘girl’.

I went through all the movements and heard people question their own sexuality or identity, but everyday now there is a news item about redefining who people are and how their interact with each other.

Which brings me to the question, what is the ‘First Lady’? First of all, is this person a lady?

The word lady is a civil term of respect for a woman among English speakers. It is the equivalent of gentleman. It is also a formal title in England. “Lady” is used before the surname of a woman with a title of nobility or honorary title or the wife of a lord, a baronet, and a knight, and also before the first name of the daughter of a Duke, Marquess, or Earl throughout the United Kingdom.

Once used to describe only women of a high social class, race, community, and status in Europe; now the term ‘Lady’ is commonly used to refer to any adult woman.

Since I thought we tried to get away from royalty, why isn’t the President’s significant other known as his Queen? Or his (or hers) Spouse or Love or Princess (or is that reserved for the daughters?) And the Vice President’s wife gets the title of ‘Second Lady’. Who wants to be #2?

It may not have happened yet (?) but what if the ‘First Lady’ is transgender? If the president were a woman the spouse would be the ‘First Gentleman’? Or would it be acceptable to be Mister Hillary Clinton? Think about the poor kids. There is the ‘First Dog’ unless the President has two and then what is the second one called? The rules hold for the offspring’s. Would there be a ‘First Kid’ and a ‘Second Kid’ to a ‘Third Kid’. What about the vice President’s second child?

As we grow more accustomed to the diversity of lifestyles, what happens when the ‘First Family’ is same sex? Just like the title of ‘Husband’ or ‘Wife’, what will the ‘First’ be?

Personally, I’m old school and will open the door to anyone who looks female (or elderly). It is just the values I was taught and shows some respect for someone else.

Next on board: The President Wants a Parade? From what I remember parades are fun. When the circus came to town the elephants would parade down the street followed by a guy carrying a shovel and trashcan. When Santa came to town he’d ride downtown to the department stores in a parade. When the tobacco crops harvest came in the cigarette companies would get the local high school bands and cadet corps and car dealers driving local celebrities over the horse crap while all the city watched them march down the street. I’ve never seen a military parade. I’ve seen the ones in Russia on newsreels but to get that many of our national heroes walking in unison so the Commander-In-Chief can review the troops would be a thrill. Ratings might start to slip after an hour of looking at people walking by like JFK’s funeral procession so maybe we should enlarge the idea of ‘a parade’. Sure bring the entire army home and if we have enough fancy uniforms and shiny guns and buckles and brass and bands and spit shine boots, march them down the street. Think of all the pride this country would have. Think of all the hotels and restaurants and bars that would profit from this immense invasion of warriors (and their families) to our nation’s capitol. Maybe he could ride on a white horse preceding the troops? There is a flag waver moment. Maybe others parades could join in showing other American values? Some of those Macy’s clowns and balloons would be nice. How about a precision rodeo equestrian roping team or a pack of scouts? A couple of Mardi Gras floats would be an exciting attraction for anyone who wants some beads. A line of tractors to show support for the farmers might be as good as some vets in wheelchairs to raise that U.S.A. feeling. Now we are talking. A bunch of patio torch burning white shirt young whites could be followed by a group of Black Lives Matter just to spice things up. Throw in a group of Confederate Heritage Re-enactors because they were soldiers too and now we got a parade to end all parades. Sprinkle in some Gay Pride and #Me Too groups and that is just a beginning.

Cost? Don’t be ridiculous; we can just use the credit card. Oh what a joy to see a parade to acknowledge that our armed service with all of the latest expensive gadgets to blow people up have not won a war since...