Breaking In The Neighbors

Looks like I got another bunch coming to the woods since the house next door has been sold. Who will it be this time?

Almost 40 years ago when I moved in, White Shoes Bob came out to sweep the walkway while staring at the truck backed up into the yard and these big burley guys moving giant boxes into this little house. WS Bob and wife Edna would sit out on lawn chair and watch me when I cut the grass. I introduced myself but he misheard “Cliff” for “Chris”. After a few trials at correcting him, I just went with Chris. He knew my father’s name so he told the neighborhood a son of a celebrity had moved in next door. Then Bob died. By now I had a new roommate and she enjoyed working out in the yard but didn’t like the attention of the ladies on either side. Then Edna got into a property line spat and put up a chain length fence. Edna slipped into Alzheimer’s and her daughter hired a live in caretaker who Heather struck up friendship with.

That was the first time I was invited into the house next door. It is a row house squeezed in between two cape cods. My house is small but I felt claustrophobic in Edna’s place. By then she could speak but was fuming that we had invaded her space. She just sat and stared and frowned while Heather and the nurse chatted about Pow-Wows and birds.

Edna’s daughter sold the house to some girl but I never met her. “Puppywoods” was well under construction by then and a 6’ fence was installed around the entire backyard for privacy from peering eyes. Whoever the girl she was kind enough to not secure her Fios so my Internet connection got much faster.

Then she moved out and another older woman moved in. She would chat every now and then if I was on the porch but it was mostly complaining about the peanut shells scattered in her yard from the squirrels and chipmunks.

She moved out and the house sat vacant for a couple of years.

About four years ago a young couple moved in with their baby. By then “Puppywoods” was in full bloom from lack of trimming and they went about reclaiming their side of the fence. They seemed pleasant enough until I got a notice from the city about cleaning the public walkways from excessive growth. They too complained about the peanut shells and the furry little creatures running all over. Then their car was stolen from in front of their house (I had noticed one of the windows was missing days before) and they could remember if the keys were left in or not. He decided it was because one of my bushes was too thick so he trimmed it back. He was a musician in a band so I thought we could strike a chord but he didn’t want to talk about music or art (he was also an artist and his dad was an artist). They invited me over for dinner one night and the subject turned to religion. These kids were evangelicals and were going to save me. After a couple of bottles or wine and trying to change the subject I finally took down my hair and told them “I am Jesus”

They moved.

Then this girl moved in. I never saw a moving truck but did see some contractors came by and replaced sinks and toilets and countertops. I’d see here at night, park her car and walk up to the door talking on her cell, never acknowledging my waves or presence. She had food (lots of food) delivered. She was never out in the yard or made any noise until her parents came by to do repairs on the gutters and fence. Her dad was a jovial guy and we spoke a few times but she never said a word. Then they all seemed to move into that house. Then there was a dog. It was a cute white curly haired pup and very quiet but kept away from the fence. On some evenings she’d walk him pass the fence still ignoring me. She did do one thing that was right. The air conditioner unit was right on the property line next to my back door and made a bunch of noise. HVAC guys were always there from Edna on, trying to keep the thing going. They finally recommended moving it to the other side of the house away from the fence and bales of mulch restricting the airflow. Now it is much quieter outside and in.

Now she is gone what will the new neighbor(s) be like?

Will they have children? Will they have a barking dog? Will they have a free-range cat? Will they have loud parties? Will they rent it out as an AB&B? Will there be cars parked all over the place? Will there be excessive trash or smells?  Will we get along?

“Welcome to Colonial Place Neighbor”