Outside Voice

There was a time when you saw a person walking along and talking out loud and there was no one else walking with them and unless they were handing out pamphlets or food samples or trying to get you into the side show, you kept your distance because they were ‘crazy’.

Now people are just walking around carrying on a conversation with the air until you notice they have a wire in their ear. Still keep your distance for they are ‘crazy’ too.

No one wants to hear your conversation, whether it is on the cell or in a restaurant or airplane or church (unless you are nosey).

Before all our technology allowed us to immediate tweet a thought or speak to a face time screen to someone on the other side of the globe, to talk to another person had to be face-to-face.

Sure there were written letters with romantic thoughts and family secrets including the occasional photograph but it took days, weeks or months to get a return response. By the time the recipient responded the writer forgot what the letter was all about.

The telephone was a wonderful invention. Instead of sending dots and dashed, two people could talk to each other on the other side of the valley. The problem is the other person had to be home and pick up the receiver when it rang.

The reason I bring this up is what do you say when it is quiet?

If you partner is out or the children have left home or you have just come back from a wake, the house is quiet. Silent. Stand still and there is no sound.

We have become accustomed to turning on distracting electronic devices to fill the void of silence. Even our appliances make noise. We bring home animals to distract us from the inevitable quiet that someday will be our last.

Living alone I can decide to make noise or sit in the quiet. Both have their purpose. Put on an LP or CD at any time of day or night and blast the speakers or enjoy the headphones without bothering the neighbors. Then again turn off all the electronics and be aware fully of the no noise.

Some call it meditation. I just call it quiet time. In the summer I enjoy rocking on the porch after all the motor machines are shut down and everyone have vacated the outside world. Some nights it is listening to music through headphones. Some nights it is quietly playing the guitar. Some night is just the sound of my rocker blending with the surroundings.

If you listen there is a rustle of leaves over there, which raises the curtain an opossum train out for a nightly walk. You can hear the conversation of the birds saying ‘Good-night’ to each other until the morning wake-up call. Even the tree sing with a dance in the breeze. Pay attention.

Having no one else to talk to or discuss thoughts or review a reading can be isolation of the mind. That is why this blog is part journal and part conversation.

When you hear something funny you should laugh out loud. I purposely had at least one good laugh each day. Something will hit my funny bone and I let out a good laugh. Sometimes it brings tears.

Then I say, “That was the chuckle for today.”

I say it with my outside voice even though there is no one else to hear it.

I have been correctly trained to be ‘seen and not heard’ so I’m polite in public not to say the things I’m thinking, but back home, alone, I can say whatever I want.

I make certain sounds when I walk through the yard. This is just a warning sound to those who live here that I’m joining them. Then I welcome each and everyone as they arrive for the daily buffet. Remember this is my ‘outside voice’.

Why do I do this?

Maybe it is just to hear my own voice? I’m sure there is a psychological terminology for this ‘outside voice’ speaking to one’s self. There is probably a medical diagnosis for mental illness, but I’m not bothering any body.

Just like you talk to your pet, I welcome the pups in the neighborhood and they recognize my voice and come running. Maybe it is my attention I give them? Maybe it’s because I bring treats?

If talking to one’s self out loud is not socially acceptable, so be it.

I also play air guitar and sound out bass lines to whatever song is playing