Umbrellas

Today it is raining. It is raining all day so I’m settled in for the long haul.

Still I had to go out and empty the recycling from all the cans I used for yesterday’s (and today’s and tomorrow’s) chili.

I don’t have a raincoat. I don’t have a rain slicker or windbreaker.

I do have an umbrella that has not been used for years and is probably dry rotted.

An umbrella or parasol is a folding canopy supported by wooden or metal ribs, which is usually mounted on a wooden, metal, or plastic pole. It is designed to protect a person against rain or sunlight. The term umbrella is traditionally used when protecting oneself from rain, with parasol used when protecting oneself from sunlight, though the terms continue to be used interchangeably. Often the difference is the material used for the canopy; some parasols are not waterproof. Umbrella canopies may be made of fabric or flexible plastic. There are also combinations of parasol and umbrella that are called en-tout-cas (french for 'in any case').

Umbrellas and parasols are primarily hand-held portable devices sized for personal use. The largest hand-portable umbrellas are golf umbrellas. Umbrellas can be divided into two categories: fully collapsible umbrellas, in which the metal pole supporting the canopy retracts, making the umbrella small enough to fit in a handbag; and non-collapsible umbrellas, in which the support pole cannot retract and only the canopy can be collapsed. Another distinction can be made between manually operated umbrellas and spring-loaded automatic umbrellas that spring open at the press of a button.

I used to use an umbrella when I would wait at the bus stop to go to work. If another person came up with an umbrella we had to stand three feet apart and yell at each other from under our portable shelters. When the bus arrived, we’d try our best to fold up our umbrellas at the last minute and squeeze through the door to drip on the driver and all the other passengers until we get to our intended stop to reverse course to run to a permanent roof.

Then you are carrying this dripping stick around trying to find a place for it to dry out. A raincoat can hang on a coat rack and drip on the floor, but an umbrella needs to be reopened inside (bad luck?) taking up a three-foot square space on the floor after which it can be folded up and leaned in the corner and forgotten. More umbrellas are lost than any other item except maybe memory.

An umbrella is a wonderful invention and does it’s job well to keep you dry while standing in the rain (or snow) but it doesn’t work well on a bicycle.

I’ve tried raincoats but they won’t cover your legs. Neither will waterproof capes. Pull over water-resistant windbreakers with hoods work on boats but not on bikes. Even a big plastic bag covering the entire body doesn’t work on a bicycle restricting leg movement.

I’ve ridden in the snow and hurricanes and just arrive at my destination wet. No matter how many layers, riding in the rain will get the rider wet.

So I dodged the drops, emptied my recycle, scurried back inside without getting soaked. The falling water didn’t melt me and I’ll dry out.

The umbrella still stands in the corner, nice and dry.