Out-Of-Work

Are we over-reacting or just being cautious?

We’ve already discussed we should not PANIC! While we are washing our hands and sneezing into our elbow we are overwhelmed in news reports of society closing down due to some cooties floating around.

Schools are closing and there wasn’t even a shooting. Churches are closing which will put a squeeze on weddings, funerals and baptisms. Conventions are cancelling so people selling screwdrivers or copiers or even medical appliances will no longer fill the conference rooms of hotels.

If people are to work at home (with their kids) and tele-communicate who keeps track of their time? Will the sales goals be met when the staff is binge surfing on Netflix and downing chips and beer with their kids?

If all the sports activities are shut down to keep from assembling large crowds, what will people do on weekends? How will they root for their favorite teams? What will the local pub have on the twelve screens?

What will become of the cheerleaders?

Those giggly scanty clad gals bouncing around on the field of play have no audience to entice to cheer on their team. Without any fans will they just root-root-root for the home team to the coaches and the bench? Sorry ladies but you are out-of-work.

Empty stadiums will not support the hot dog vendors or the parking attendants or those poor smucks who have to mop up the bathrooms. No one will be there to buy souvenir t-shirts or programs or foam fingers or cheese heads. The beer sales will drop faster than the stock market.

With no one traveling to the games, the hotels and restaurants and sports bars will become vacant, cutting staff and inventory refurbishing. On the plus side arrest for public drunkenness or rowdy behavior will go down. Law enforcement can get back to picking up homeless and migrants and pot smokers.

The extended sick days sounds interesting (unless you are the employer paying for it) and the tax cut would be nice except these are unemployed people now with No Paycheck to tax.

The advice to stock up certainly hit my Tummy Temple. The congregation was bigger than Thanksgiving or Christmas. Water and t-paper were rationed and the staff was overwhelmed. Lines went out the door and carts were stacked mile high. Send in the troops!

 I had the flu once. It was after I got a flu shot (let that sink in). At the time my wife was a teacher and also got the flu (think about it). I remember it being a couple of miserable days and then we got better. I called in sick but didn’t care if I was getting paid or not.

I also used to give blood until the medical assistant couldn’t find the vein and there was more blood on the floor than in the little jar.

I don’t recommend anyone else live his or her lives the way I do, but I avoid the medical and pharmaceutical professionals. I have medical insurance (in case of getting hit by a car) but do not have a personal doctor. The medicine cabinet holds some ten-year old aspirin and some cough drops. There is an unopened bottle of Tylenol and some Tums. There is an unused thermometer back there but I don’t like them.

If I have a fever, I know it. If I have the chills, I know it. If my tummy hurts, I know it. If my head hurts, I know it.

Old Doc Page would tell my mom, give him liquids, chicken noodle soup and plenty of rest. Seemed to work.

All those with medical experience will be aghast by my lack of concern to live longer than my diet, exercise and rest routine, but it works for me.

I feel for those who have to deal with this emergency. The stress and concern and the fear of the unknown must be making you all crazy?

If you are exposed or lose your job, will there be unemployment insurance? Who will be there to answer the phone or reply online? What happens when the banks close??

Maybe if I have to take the test and pass, there will be thumbs up. If the neighbor’s houses start going for sale, I might wonder. If I run out of food and the Tummy Temple is closed, I’ll have to plant a garden.

Good luck to all the cheerleaders and food truck operators and teachers and janitors and referees and street hawkers and musicians and dancers and airplane pilots and people working for tips and Uber drivers and vacation directors. These look like tough times, but hang in there.

Tomorrow is another day.