Stars

How are your reviews?

It seems we must comment on everything. We all have opinions and now we can review everything from a movie to a book to a personal post on social media.

It doesn’t make us an expert on the topic or even a rational opinion but a few clicks of the mouse and you have scored your review.

Some might turn into top ten status or award nominations while others may wind up on Yelp! or Trip Advisor or Google along with thousands of other who may have tried the experience or just wanted to troll the site.

An author or a painter or a dancer expects to be reviewed by critics. Restaurants request reviews of their presentation to increase foot traffic. Movies and festivals want reviews to produce ticket sales.

What about you?

How many stars will you get?

What if your family could review you? What if your friends could review you? What if your significant other could review you?

How would you do?

Let us take some reviews and apply it to yourself.

“I love the convenience of hanging a bag on the front door and getting it all back three days later. Sometimes the clothes are still in there and clean.”

“He played with the instruments, walked up inside the tree house, went down the slides, and swung on the swing.”

“I’ve lived in the area for most of my life and was struggling to find a reasonably-priced tailor that produced quality work. Mom was great. The coat didn’t fit right but she tried.”

“Had a reservation for 5 for a friend’s birthday & we all had a wonderful time! Was so excited to finally get out and loved the warm, intimate party with balloons and a pony and a clown and a three-tiered cake. The stripper cost extra.”

“You have to eat here!!!! We came in for a pre-theatre cocktail and ended up canceling our reservation and coming back here for dinner! The ambiance is warm and the wine poured. I forgot what we had but the sofa was soft to sleep on.” 

“The very best cleaning in town! Arrived on time and promptly began to work hard. I was amazed at the meticulous care given to every detail of my home. They went through every drawer and under the bed and into every closet checking the pockets.”

“I have used this is place for years after it being recommended to me by a close friend. It is just the best. They have always fixed whatever problem I was facing. They even called to make sure a good review was posted with a coupon and a free dinner at the restaurant of your choice.”

“Update to my previous one star review: I was contacted immediately after posting my review, and his customer service was nothing short of amazing. He immediately apologized on the roach floating in the soup and offered another lunch. What a pal.”

“Recently mulched our beds throughout our yard and did a wonderful job. The mulch was high quality, deep, and carefully installed. Also mow our lawn weekly. Leaves were not raked.”

“Stayed here for one night and was a little nervous because of the mixed reviews. I got a room with the jetted tub and it was very clean. The entire bathroom was very clean. Bathtubs are very clean but difficult to sleep in.”

“I've been three times now and each time I would have dropped it down a star.  First time was five stars, I was in love. Next four and finally my last (and truly last) visit it’s just a three. Another star off for the rude behavior. How did the food become so bland in four months?

The only saving grace was those biscuits with the special butter. I sure will miss those. The food just lacks flavor all the way around. Nothing that makes me wanna rush out and eat there again. Sorry mom.”  

“The last time we went, I think our “server” smoked a bit too much weed before.  Wouldn’t stop talkin, and kept apologizing for everything when there wasn’t really a big problem. Some people had to walk down to the bar and get their bloody Mary after their food came cold.  I asked for my beer 15 minutes after “ordered” and said it couldn’t get because not allowed behind the bar. NO, you forgot it.  I could see the bar the whole time, the bartender never left.  Just had diarrhea of the mouth.  When asked if we needed anything else, I said ketchup, hot sauce, and another beer.  He got 2/3 back within 10 minutes. Forgot the hot sauce, but didn’t want to ask again, becomes as he told us, sorry there is a bit of drama with another table. Of course there was.”  

“The topper was when sitting at the bar at fatty smokes the next day.  The “mom” started talkin’ shit about other folks to someone who I guess was her friend at the bar.  I know everything about her private life, even how much she gets paid working. The only thing she didn’t share is when she gets her period. Maybe next week? Not a good look especially when I have to listen to it during lunch.

People, be mindful about your surroundings when being disrespectful to the family. I will never visit again.”

“I was not at all satisfied with the performance.  I had to hire a second painting crew to do over what had done, plus complete the job.  We had parted mid-job.”

Sounds rough to read what others might write about you. Didn’t even get into the personal stuff like what you sound like, your laugh, your jokes, your unforgettable stories, your smell, your eating habits, or picking your nose.

Businesses rely on public opinion; so do people.

Do our public officials get the same attention after elected?

Don’t forget to vote.