‘Tis the season’ for the seasonal turmoil at the Tummy Temple. I love the panic before the holiday arrives. I enjoy watching the clueless expressions on their faces as they venture through the aisles looking for that special ingredient that you were sent to retrieve and the family gathering meal cannot be accomplished without it. I see more folks needing to check their phones when selecting between the organic or premium item. Price comparison goes out the window when the holidays arrive. People can complain about that later, but this is the day that Uncle Jack and the family are coming over to celebrate and the presentation of the meal is supposed to impress him. Does anyone order take-out pizza for Christmas? Probably a better idea for the rug rats who won’t eat the green beans sprinkled with fried French onions or touch the ambrosia. Are their enough snack foods on the list for all the movies, sports and just munching while emptying the bar? Is there enough toilet paper? What if someone gets sick? Is your medicine cabinet prepared for an emergency? Will you need to do laundry while visitors are here? Are there enough trash bags?
As I swing into the parking lot, I can see it is overcrowded and the mobile machines are circling hoping to find a vacant spot to slip into. My special lockup spot (the stop sign at the door) is vacant and I find my key while avoiding the rushing carts whizzing by. The panic seems full blown.
My plan was to get a couple of sub sandwich at the ‘which wich’ sandwich shop before joining in the mayhem of the Tummy Temple. Holding back from delivery until I get the credit card budget back, I figured I’d tool over and pay cash for the next couple of day’s lunch. They always seemed pleasant and the subs were tasty, but not today. They were closed. Gone. Locked up. I didn’t get the memo. There was a sign on the window that said this would be the future location for ‘Jersey Mike’s’ sub shop. Don’t understand the restaurant business for a sub shop to replace a sub shop, but I move on.
Many of the carts are gone, either clogging the aisles or in the parking lot waiting to be retrieved. I find a big basket that doesn’t have locked wheels and join the fray. I have a list (for a Christmas dinner for one) and have the time to wander and enjoy watching the confusion. There are couples discussing what size turkey will accommodate the starving masses waiting at home, there are family groups trying to find the ‘just right’ brand while the kids run about bored with the entire adventure, there are the ones who are in a rush and ones who are busy talking on their phones rather than pulling products off the shelves. People move down an aisle only to turn around and wander back bewildered by the signage of a food warehouse.
I love it. This is a pure example of our current culture. These are not the hunter and gathers, but the shoppers who have to put on a coat and climb into a pre-running car that is warming up the leather seats to weave in and out of traffic burning fossil fuel and polluting the air to struggle to park without a scrap then get overheated looking for dip for chips and settling for an unfamiliar brand due to what was available on the shelf. Now and again, I stop just to allow the traffic go by until someone ask, “Are you in line?” Excuse me, I don’t want to get in the way. In all this commotion I pity the poor cashiers who have to deal with all this frantic behavior. In two days, things will be back to normal and a brief conversation can be had with the few peeps I talk to, trying to make a joke and get a smile from an oppressing, yet essential job. When is an apron a uniform?
Overwhelming my cart with all the items on my list, I move into the Scan-And-Go area and find a spot and scan each item (or most of them) until the alcohol (which requires a verification from the attendant in a apron). Hillary comes by with her ‘magic card’ and plugs in a date when the VABC used to require the scanning of an official ID, but this is not my first rodeo. She seems stressed by the cacophony of the Tummy Temple congregation, so I don’t pause for a chuckle but part wishing all within earshot, “Happy Holiday” and free the spot for the next.
I notice the security gates at the sliding doors are now working. I’ve attended the Tummy Temple (with various names) for about 40 years. I’ve seen many managers come and go. I’ve seen the restricting of the placement of items as a ‘hide-and-seek’ game. I’ve seen the renovations and restructuring of layout and staff. I noticed the ones who are moving slow or just going through the motions and a few who had the ‘Charlie hustle’ mentality. I’ve witness (and participated) in the technology of lighting, frozen food doors and security.
Back in the day of Ukrop’s or A&P or Safeway or Layfette Market, people were expected to adhere to the responsibility of ‘pay as you go’. I’m not saying that I’ve come home with an item that was not on my recipe, but that is why Santa is bringing me coal for Christmas. I’ve seen staff selling drugs. I’ve seen members of the congregation walking out with purchases not paid for. I’ve seen security personnel searching the aisles for someone who has been caught on the plethora of cameras overhead watching every motion hoping someone is watching when I wave going by. On a few occasions there have been what appears to be authoritarian guards who may, like TSA, ask to check your paper bag for items that match your check-out recipe. Once there was a officer of the law standing at the door. Seems governor was inside giving a presentation. I was sure that my avocado was secure. I’ve even seen the local police hauling out someone in cuffs for unknown reason and pause before entering to whatever had happened. When I hear patrons start to fuss and notice the red vest rushing to calm the situation, I just go down a different direction. All of the ever-changing congregation are strangers and no one knows who is packing.
So, the new security gates are meant to solve the problem of patrons walking out with a cart full of sodas and frozen pizzas causing the prices to rise for the rest of us fine outstanding customers who will pay whatever the merchant post as a reasonable cost. Once, back in the 2020’s when the BLM movement was tearing down confederate statues and there was some looting and protest, there were actual armed guards standing in front of those gigantic windows that we were told to avoid during a hurricane. Don’t know if it is worth to purchase a six-pack in a fire fight?
With overflowing loaded packs and a constant parade of unusable driving methods, I decide to walk my pony cautiously out of the chaos to the path of content. Rather than add my weight to the recently pumped-up tires, I decide to just walk pulling my holiday haul. Stopping occasionally for traffic of baby strollers or dog walkers to pass, I enjoy the beautiful day of friendly faces opposed to the panic shoppers I’d just attended. I watched a couple talking to a dog and waited until they finished before continuing only to hear, “I thought you were supposed to ride them?” I stopped with a smile. He was a scraggly looking guy in a Redskins cap walking an alert and calm beagle on a rope leash. We had a brief talk while his pup sniffed my hand. Instead of the usual blah-blah of complaints and such, our conversation got into Christmas music and Handle’s ‘Messiah’ and chord structure that was fascinating. You just never know.
I bid adieu to the mystery person and was wiser for the encounter. A few more pauses and smiles and kind words of the season from those who also venture outdoors, perhaps because of my red hoodie and white beard and hoping that Santa will bring them treasures?
Once back in the woods I unload my haul for the next day’s victuals and feed my furry neighbors who seem appreciative. Let other families cause disruptive actions that will spoil the holiday season.
Now is the time to prepare a holiday bag for a neighbor with a few surprises. Tomorrow, station #18 will be delivered an apple pie by an unknown neighbor and the season will be over for me.
Might listen to some ‘Christmas’ music on the day… or not.








