Let’s see what’s on The Menu

 

Recently, I’ve started using  to have food delivered to my door.

 

DISCLAIMER: My father was the manager

to an exclusive private gentlemen's club, so I’m somewhat aware of

the hospitality industry of

preparing and presentation of food.

 

 

With that said, I had a history of ordering double-cheese pizzas from Julian’s (now closed) and mozzarella sticks, onion rings and all kinds of whatever was on the delivery menu before. This was the period when the stove was removed from the kitchen (don’t ask).

Growing up, our family would go out-to-eat at least once a week. Sometimes it was a dress up formal dinner or a country club affair. Other times, it was the local steak house or fried chicken place. They were always a get in the car and go to a brick-and-mortar building and wait to be shown to a table for four. We’d be handed a menu, but always ordered the same thing. Meat and potatoes. No one ate out for the salad or green beans. Don’t know if dad just wanted to get out of the house or visit another restaurateur to see what the clientele were ordering so he could adjust his menu at the club? I never saw a check delivered to the table. We’d just get up and leave. Not sure how that worked.

Now and then, we’d go to a cafeteria where we had to grab a tray and walk down a line of open steaming food and point out what we wanted to fill the tray. At the end of the line was a cashier. Us kids would just go find a table while dad settled the tab. The cafeteria at school wasn’t as appealing but it was cheap. Even so, I started bringing my lunch in a Roy Roger’s lunch box with a leaky thermos. A peanut butter sandwich, a handful of chips and what milk was left. The apple was thrown away. In high school I’d always bring a brown bag lunch. Freshman year in college, would have lunch at Robert’s every day. Two hamburgers, lettuce, tomato and mayo, fries and a coke. Sophomore year, I had an apartment (with a kitchenette) and a job working for a vending machine company, so I fed myself out of tiny cans and the best of the wrapped sandwiches. By the time I got married, my parents would supply us with gigantic cans of additional club stores or they were close enough to have us to dinner.

In high school, fast food joints appeared on every corner. Get a burger, fries and a coke for a buck and a half, so food was affordable. Luckily, we were not snackers or heavy drinkers at the time, so the paycheck could pay for rent and records.

My wife and I did much walking and would stop at familiar food providers along the way to refresh and recharge. Some became regular stops and comfortable to invite others to attend a meal. Again, we never ventured into unusual palates from different cultures. Learned that from my wife experimenting from television cooking shows.

For years, I’ve used the excuse to get exercise by a daily ride to the Tummy Temple, buy what one person can eat for the day, then ride home and consume. Recently, these trips are taking longer and the hills are higher and the heat is hotter and the wind is… well, you get the idea.

So, I’ve decided to try out this  thing and see how that works. If I can get food delivered, then I don’t have to go out into the wind, cold and rain or plan ahead for the next few days of bad weather or laziness.

Be patient, I’m getting to the menu.

I open up the  site, give them my address and credit card number and they present ALL the restaurants in my area that can be ordered from.

I spend an hour scrolling through the choices and see what they have to offer in color photos to appear appetizing. Monochromatic images do not look like something you want to put in your gut.

What I found of interest are the similarities of the selections. Breaking down food groups to categories, Greek food had Greek food, Sub shops had submarine sandwiches and pizza places had pizzas. (Note: you don’t go to a chicken place and order a steak or a pizza place and order a hamburger or a Chinese place and order a pizza.) Relying only on a photo and a brief description of ingredients, you can ‘add to cart’ and it will be delivered to your doorstep lickety-split.

Each of these fine dining establishments have the usual hospitality credo of ‘get the patron in, served and out’ for the next customer to take their table on the grub assembly line. The kitchen, if run correctly, waste no time in preparation and can deliver to the table (or in this case) the  piping hot and delicious.

This new method of having substance to fill my gullet, seems as easy as Amazon delivering item the next day or Lowe’s forklift delivering items too big for most trucks.  seems to have a good messaging method to accept the request, estimate the arrival time and notification w/photo of placement on delivery.

While I will miss the ambiance of fine indoor dining and the flirting with the cute waitresses who are at your beckoned call, this  may save the wear-and-tear on these old bones. At the end of the month, I’ll get one bill for all the meals, no matter where they came from.

I’ve checked the prices and they seem about the same of if I attended at the countertop. The ‘food’ taxes are estimated, the delivery charge seems reasonable so this might work out, being the only decision of the day.

“What about the other items needed from the Tummy Temple”, you ask. “What about dish detergent and soap and t-paper and toothpaste?”

Well, since they are not on the  menu, I’ve tried . It is basically the same process, but I was curious about alcohol.

The same ‘add to cart’ and they deliver, but you have to be there so they can scan your ID to prove you is old enough to pass the VABC requirements. I think both services do this, but I’ve separated them to ‘grub’ to ‘other stuff’ request. This could be dangerous, for they will deliver many cans for consumption through the week, but… if it is in the house?

So far, I’ve order Mexican burritos, Subway sandwiches and Wendy’s burgers. All have been satisfactory (except for leftovers) and filling with fried grease. All the other selections seem to be fast food, but I’ve not ordered any platters? I suppose this is a good way to sample different sauces and packaging techniques of various dining establishments?

What could go wrong?

If the meal isn’t prepared to your satisfaction, you can send it back to the kitchen. There is a review survey, but you can’t compliment the chef.

I keep a pretty tight miser budget and record every penny (oops, they don’t make those anymore) so I’m tracking the fees to see if that will fit in my 2026 budget.

Then I go to place an order and WHAM! REJECTED. Seems the credit card I’ve been using for Amazon, Intracart and now DoorDash hit its limit. Lesson learned. This is too easy.

I check the credit card site and sure enough. I’ve been ordering like I had a back-of-the-room staff preparing my meals. No problem. Wait for the bill in the mail, send in a check and wait until the balance is back.

Being the best weather for a couple of days and having to pay my property tax (gulp) I pull out my pony, pump up the tire (but probably let out more air than I put in) and road to the mailbox. Since I was close, I parked at the Tummy Temple to pick up a few items I would have had delivered (including alcohol) and ventured back home with a reminder of why I’m considering this delivery option.

I made it home, panting and puffing, then lay down for I could go no further.

‘Tis the Season

 

…as they say, the end of the year is the season for celebration, giving and reflection. All the pictures representing the season of joy and goodwill show happy people decorating trees and garland and tables full of steaming hot food. Smiles surrounded by songs and plenty for all.

It is also a distraction from reality.

Whatever your reason for joining in, whether it be faith based or commercial shopping or just traditional habit, we try to end the year on happiness and hopes for a new year of positive adventures and experiences. What of the people living under the overpass in below freezing weather down the block?

On December 25, the churches will have the feast of mac and cheese and processed meat slices provided for those who not have a home to go to all for a price of a sermon. As soon as clean-up is done, they separate back to unwrap presents, light candles and vast in the warmth of friends and family or bundle up against the winter’s chill in hope that tomorrow will bring sunlight.

No matter what the reason is for closing down the entire world, life goes on. There is still crime and petulance and births and deaths and disasters (natural or not) for the news to report on while we gorge. An excuse to wear silly costumes, over indulge and drink beyond our limits only to pay the piper as just rewards. In the calm of the holiday, there are still those who thankfully attend to our emergencies, for even on a holiday ‘stuff happens’. Try and find a plumber when the pipes break on Christmas day.

The hospitals still have beds full of people who cannot be let out yet and must be attended to, even on a day when everyone else is at home. The security patrols our streets hoping for fewer calls of mayhem and disturbance of celebrations getting out-of-hand. A bucket brigade will be immediately on-call if your yule log gets out of hand, no matter the weather or road conditions. Those keeping the giant data centers powered and cooled to provide you will the opportunity to share your holiday wishes will be having lunch in the rec room while their families wait.

There is still a week to stress about finding that last minute stocking stuffer or making sure the sheets are all folded for the overnight guest who are really related to you. Bundle up and travel about, in and out of brick-and-mortar buildings with heat adjusted as best to accommodate crowds of layered customers running in and out of the cold and bringing their sneezes and coughs with them.

With all the kids running amuck and the sweltering kitchen and the constant gabber, there’s that tickle in the back of your throat. It sucks to be sick on Christmas. Close enough to hear the revelry but quarantined to protect the others. If the illness is worse than a band-aid can cover and a box truck with flashing lights has to be called to haul you off to a professional to mend, the entire schedule is wrecked and the food is getting cold and the dogs still need to be walked and the kids are getting bored and it is snowing again. While it may bring down the spirit of the holiday, it will be one to remember and be retold to future generations.

Happy Holidays to one and all and hope everyone stays safe and sound.

Experiment

 

Life is an experiment. No matter who you came from, when you arrive, there is no instruction manual.

We all arrive as a blank slate. Some may show up with physical or mental disadvantages, but that is the luck of the draw. Some may be born into a bleak environment that was not of our choosing, but again we had no say so before arriving. Some may be born with a silver spoon in their mouth (as they say).

From the moment you take a breath to your last has an unknown timeline. What happens between those two moments is the experiment.

Each of are exposed to the air, sounds, surrounding influences and teachings to form our own destination. Some may have demands on them to follow a certain path and some will find their own way.

Libraries, music, museums, live performances, construction, gardens, nature, cooking, dancing, singing is available to all to partake or ignore. Associations between others can be requirements of conformity or can be open and learning and often forgotten along the way.

Physical temptations offer pleasures or attention, but each decides when and how far to follow. There are laws and moral judgements on our decisions.

Mental adjustments may be tasted and sampled or seemingly required to handle however our direction affects us. Cultural peer pressure offers us salvation from our pains.

Some don’t make all the birthdays and some may last too long. During the new calendars bring changes, prepared for or unaware of. There are lessons along the way we can learn from and pass on or forget until it is too late.

The ones who survive until old age can sit back and reflect on their journey to get here.

Critics will be the obituary.

Anthropomorphism

 

By anthropomorphizing objects, we attribute human characteristics to them, making them easier to relate to. It's a concept that can bring profound comfort, especially in times of distress. Naming objects can make the world seem less intimidating, creating a sense of companionship and reducing feelings of isolation.

We all do it.

Everything has a name. Otherwise, we’d never be able to tell a story or define a map without a “tree” or a “bird” or a “dog” or a “cat”. When we discover something new or create something never before seen, we have to give it a name. Think of your children.

If we didn’t identify ourselves by our names, we would need nametags at conventions. Some of us are named after relatives and have an obligation to honor the name. Others can change a name in marriage or self-identity or just on a whim Be sure to tell all the authorities who need you name to put on your gravestone.

This is about naming inanimate objects. Some people name their cars to give them personality, like painting details. They talk to their cars with love when showing them off during a wash or have someone to cuss to when they won’t start. Some don’t name their kitchen appliances, but will talk to them when opening the refrigerator and not remembering what you were looking for.

Many musicians name their instruments, like Eric Clapton’s “Blackie” or George Harrison’s “Rocky”, for they depend on them as friends they hold close to. We name our pets, whether a dog or a horse and talk to them with a ‘baby talk’ voice while they stare at us having no idea what we are saying. They hear a certain sound and relate it to being fed. Maybe our children can relate to that too?

I haven’t named my bikes, but have named my yard crewe. Rather than calling the ‘squirrels’ to opening the buffet to cocktail peanuts, I call them all “Petie”. The reason is logical. A neighbor brought my wife a baby squirrel that had fallen out of a tree. She took it in and found a place in the bathroom for her. The squirrel was named “Petie”. Petie was left go in the yard and being familiar with us and her ‘name’ would come down the trees to be hand-fed. The name just spread to cover all the fuzzy tail tree monkeys. The little brown motor scooters are named “Beau-Beau” for a similar reason. There are “Bun-Bun’s” and “Rocky” and “Posse”. “Mr. and Mrs. C.” for our commonwealth’s feathered symbol. Blue Jays are “Blue Jays” and “Mister Hawk” is just that. “Al” the owl, is the leader of the pack while “Bike Buddy” wren is the Yard Boss.

Why not?

As you put on your favorite jammies tonight and crawl under the covers, pull close “Mister Winky”. That wore and torn ragged stuffed toy will give you comfort on a winter night.

CiRcAdIaN RHYTHM

 

Your circadian rhythm is your body’s natural 24-hour clock. It keeps your body operating on a healthy wake-sleep cycle. Your circadian rhythm affects many other systems throughout your body. Most people’s circadian rhythms are automatic, but certain factors like light can have an effect on them.

When there are schedules to follow, waking up at a certain time to give to bath, dress, eat then go to the destination that must be followed. When that clock is over, you can reverse procedure and return to sleep for your body rhythm to rest and revive for the next alarm. This is your circadian rhythm. This is your daily routine.

Daylight Savings Time, season changes, traveling through different time zones will confuse our circadian rhythm. Staying up pass your bedtime can make the next day groggy until you get back to your normal cadence. Your innards are also affected by the change in mealtimes to know when to process the chocolate choo-choo.

When retired, beyond an eternal vacation there is only one deadline. There are no clocks in retirement. Whenever the eyes open and your brain realizes this is not a dream, but another day, and the internal clock starts. Without a deadline to meet, moving about can wait until the sun comes out or the rain stops or your body starts thinking about food. The mission of the day is when to shove a consumable down the gullet and when to return to the covers.

Without a doctor’s appointment or giving a ride to a grandchild, the day is yours to decide. Wake and make a big breakfast or just a couple of cups of java to get the motor started? Get dressed or stay in the jammies? What will the mission be for the day?

The electronic distractions can fill time until you settle into a hobby or a phone call or (dare I say it) a book. Soft music can be relaxing or crank it up to motivate on a dreary day.

I find weather effects the circadian rhythm. When the sun rises and it is warm and the birds are singing, the invitation to come join the critters outside is addictive. When the sky is cloudy and the temperature is cold and moving about requires many layers while getting under the covers is more appealing to taking a jog in your underwear or take the dog out to relieve themselves, the circadian rhythm adjust.

Does lunch happen at noon, as it is scheduled at work, or does munching on the couch fill the gut with more than needed applying a doze switch to nap? After all the ‘relaxing’ does sleeping become an adventure of constant tossing and turning, shifting the covers, trying to find the right spot while your brain is mulling over the mental wonders until you finally fall into a sleep full of strange adventures called dreams.

When we were young and had energy to expel until exhaustion wore our little bodies down and we crashed. Big people had to force us into refueling and tucked us in at night. This became our circadian rhythm.

As we grew more in control of our schedules, some became day people while others tended toward the night hours for our productive focus. Throw a night owl into a daytime accepted corroborative routine can be disruptive to the circadian rhythm. Many of the creative personalities prefer the night hours, when the masses are asleep and the visions and sounds can be made undisturbed.

Tonight, I’ll toss and turn. Yank the covers and then pull them away. The radio will continuously announce the news of the hour and many podcast I would not have ventured to hear. Like clockwork, I’ll stand and scratch and stretch and walk down the hall to empty whatever has accumulated, then stare at the clock awaiting another hour to pass and the morning sunrise. No matter how much exercise I do during the day or numbers of bullets I put away, this is my rhythm. About dawn, I’ll drift off into bazaar visions with some familiar faces and strange adventures of old buildings and problem solving. They only last for an hour and I’m up again trying to remember details but in too much of a fog to try again.

The eyes will eventually open and stare at the wall while listening to the news that announced the hour of the day. It is time.

Those people

 

I hate to get into politics, particularly with the current administration, but this recent phrase causes my ire.

And I quote: “Those people,” Fred Trump said his uncle told him, “The shape they’re in, all the expenses, maybe those kinds of people should just die.”

This came from the Commander-in-Chief, the CEO of the US of the A, the so-called Leader of the Free World, the self-proclaimed King of the Planet.

This demeaning rhetoric was not about the criminal rapist and murders invading our borders to pick our crops, build our houses, cut our grass and clean our hotel rooms. This was not aimed at those who do not agree with his imperial political ramblings. This was not in response to a female reporter. This was not about intellectual librarians handing out books full of perceived disgust and filth to our children. This was not about congressional values or rights to free will or speech. This was not directed to those who’s gender identity does not match his perverted behavior. This was not an off-hand statement about diversity or monetary inequality or the color of your skin.

This quote was about Fred’s child who has a disability.

Fred's 26-year-old son, William, was born with a KCNQ2 mutation, "a genetic misfire that the doctors called a potassium channel deletion." He is nonverbal and uses a wheelchair.

I believe when we arrive on this planet, we know nothing. We are just a blob of bloody delivered from some creatures who grew you until you were fermented and ready to be a part of a ‘family’.

This family are the familiar of us. We all look alike. We all think alike (because that is what we are taught). We are comfortable with each other because it is all we know. Even an extended family of intermingling, we are somewhat suspicious of cousins and aunts and uncles for they live somewhere else and could sound different or even have another faith than our core.

Suddenly, our ‘family’ meets another ‘family’. They come from another place. They don’t look like us. They don’t sound like us. They don’t act like us. They are ‘those people’.

Some cross-breed and the blended family is accepted as us, but there are still others who are ‘those’ people. We, the familiar, look at ‘them’ with curiosity but are afraid of the difference.

The fear can be taught and increased with bias lessons of good vs bad depending on what your faith believes in.

Living on a planet where all migrated from somewhere else, some assembled into countries with borders and cultures and languages and customs different than their neighbors. If one felt disadvantaged from their neighbors, armies were formed by their political leaders directed by faith and taught that ‘those people’ were bad and had to be transformed to our acceptable beliefs to invade and conquer to pillage the wealth and reform ‘those’ to a new way of living.

Empires came and went and borders were redrawn until rational people decided the bloodshed wasn’t worth the results. Still, we stand ready to pick up arms over the threat of ‘those people’. This is our history.

Our current administration, fairly elected by our democratic process, has decided to purge (deport) ‘those people’ for the betterment of the country and with the support of the military, are detaining citizens (legal or not) and placing them onto a concentration camp until they can be processed shipped somewhere else. The processing, while minimal vetting due to the reduction in governmental staff, may find some criminals (why don’t they check the jails?) the chaos increases the confusion, fear and anger in the general population. 

If Powhatan and the indigenous tribes hadn’t been curious to welcome the aliens from afar and the original settlements were not worthy of agriculture, accepted the invasion without every viewing “The War of the Worlds” or “Independence Day” to understand ‘those people’ were here conquer and not assimilate.

Without finding riches, tea or spices, the settlers shipped back a rare crop of tobacco that caught the motherlands desire for more. The imperial desire of the Ole World leaders wanting to expand their influence and wealth, went about funding additional ventures into what would become the colonies.

When you move into a neighborhood, you are ‘those people’. You bring your children and your furniture and are viewed by the established settlers as strangers. You might fit in to the current culture and become friends or just avoid any interaction so the neighborhood waits for the sale of the house for a next batch. As this suspicion of outsiders grows, fences go up surround protected property with security. We continue to fear the unknown.

When you travel overseas or even in a different neighborhood, you are ‘those people’. The locals may view you as tourist to be exploited or assumed a threat to be followed by the uniformed authorities. If you’ve ever walked into an area, you are not welcomed and are uncomfortable, you have become ‘those people’.

At the end of the year, our species, wherever they live on this blue ball spinning in a vast darkness of space, come together to dress up and celebrate with music and food and give gifts of thankfulness.

Someday, we may realize we are the only inhabitants and should learn to get along with one another. Probably not in my lifetime, so good luck to future generations.