Monday, August 6, 2012


I was never good at this, at least in school. I didn’t know how to sit next to the smart kids and copy their answers so I just failed the test. My only cheat there was to sign my parents name to the results.

With relationships, as I always say, I am like a dog. I will follow you anywhere and though I might take a look or a sniff somewhere else, I always come home if you feed me and rub my tummy.

I learned from an early age that cheating could easily interrupt connections between two people, no matter how intense or dynamic it seemed.

Now my definition of “cheating” is a person who doesn’t follow the rules.

And what are the rules?

Well when two people decide to become a “couple” there are certain ground rules that should be established. Sure there is the ring passing or maybe some special gift that will remain forever and of course those deep long glazes that seal the deal.

If it continues there is even a contract declared by the state that the both of you are a couple by name? During the establishment of the contract each vows to be faithful to each other until death do you part.


Sure many play by the rules or even give the excuse of “for the kids” to maintain living together.  Some know how to fake it. Some know how to cover it up. Some just don’t know what other options there are because they only hang around others doing the same thing reinforcing the rules.

But then there are the normal human reactions to someone else who is attractive or intelligent or in someway enticing.

Choices must be made to stay away or wander into unknown territory. Then one must decide how far to wander into that territory.

And what about the partner? Do they have the same freedom to “wander”? And here is where the “rules” get fuzzy.

As hedonist, we want it all. A warm comfortable home and a person who is devoted to you as a couple is what has been signed in the contract, but there is that excitement, even danger, of the unknown.

The consequences can be emotional and expensive but desire can override logic.

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