Thursday, June 11, 2015

What do you think when you pee?

No matter if you stand up, sit down, squat or however you empty your bladder, we all do it. What goes in must come out. The laws of physics or a cellular metabolism to remove nitrogen through the kidneys or something; we all done got to pee.
The removal is a faster process than say ‘pooping’, where you get a chance to sit down and read a magazine or contemplate the world or watch a movie on your wireless. It is best not to have a conversation with the person in the next stall unless you are out of paper. There are certain rules to these procedures.
Your parents spent years trying to teach you how to drop your trousers and use the appropriate ceramic vessel to follow acceptable civilized methods of removing pee (and poop). Whatever potty method worked so they didn’t have to clean up your diapers; was a sign of passage. Peeing is something to be proud of, but maybe not something to take to show-and-tell. 
So what do you think about during this process?
You have to drink a lot of beer to write your name in the snow and sometimes too much will allow you to wash your pants which breaks your concentration on the deed that needs to be done.
And since it seems we humans like to consume much beer and other forms of alcohol that is full of elements that pass right through, there are several rooms set up just for this passage. Most are still divided between boys and girls, though we share at home, and most of the rooms look the same with the similar sanitation fixtures to wash away human waste.
Some fine establishments provide a newspaper or magazine page to view while peeing and some fancy places even provide a television so you can forget what you are doing in this tiled room. Others provide some creative graffiti of phone numbers and unseemly descriptions of fellow patrons for a quick read. In the latter, you may not want to touch any sink handles or doorknobs.
So as you stand or sit or squat or whatever positions you need to assume, what are your thoughts for the brief few seconds (or minutes if you are really, really full)? Or do you just zone-out and enjoy the pleasure of release?

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