Are We Trying To Find Heaven?

 

At the age of those in the obits who have passed or gone home to meet their maker or entered eternal rest or departed this life or left this world or went to join the preceded spouse or ushered into heaven or deceased or died or croaked or kicked the bucket wonders what are we looking for in the ‘after life’?

If, for some unknown reason, think that all our sins were not recorded in St. Peter’s book at the pearly gates and we are mistakenly given our harps and wings, what are we going to be looking for?

“Hi Grandma!” Oh, you don’t know me because you died before I was born. “Hi ex-girlfriend!” Can’t remember my name and walks away with one of the guys she loved after you. “Hi boss!” Oh, that’s right, you fired me.

Are the streets paved with gold? What do you need to walk for?? You’ve got wings. You can just fly about bumping into everyone then crashing into the clouds where the children are running about. Can you act up in heaven? Do you get called to the principle office?

Will heaven have your pets that passed? Do you have to take them for a walk everyday? What is a day in heaven? Do you have to poop in heaven? If this is heaven, can you eat whatever you want at any amount and never get fat? I bet you can’t fart in heaven.

Is there a black heaven? All the paintings in the Sistine Chapel only have white people? Is there another neighborhood like down on Earth? Do all the bigotry and bias disappear in heaven? Is heaven divided up into religious denominations?  Catholic Farms? Methodist Meadows? Baptist Bayou? Then there are the Muslins, Hindus, Sunni, Shia, Orthodox, Conservative Reform, and Reconstructionist? Do the Popes get a VIP suite?

If everyone believes there is a great band up there somewhere, maybe you forgot why they all died early. You’ll have to take the down lift to hear the good stuff. Besides you got a harp and can write some new stuff never heard before. Its heaven so you never need to tune up and everyone sings on pitch.

You’ll have lots of time on your hands in eternity and you don’t need to have sex. You can’t give birth in heaven so genitals won’t be needed. Maybe this isn’t heaven after all?

Do you talk in heaven or just read each other’s thoughts. Imagine what that would sound like in a cocktail party or a family dinner? Might need an extra glass of wine. Do you get a hangover in heaven?

So what is on the tele in heaven? Are there news and sports or just evangelists’ shows? Do they play games in heaven? If you play a game there is a winner and a loser and the loser will be mad at the winner unless ever game is a tie and where is the fun in that? Maybe they have Christians eating lions? What do you do for fun in heaven?

Where would you go shopping in heaven? If everyone is wearing a white KKK sheet hoodies and the temperature is perfectly suited for everyone to be comfortable then you don’t need any coats or sweaters or slippers?

Do you sleep in heaven? Do they have nice soft cloud beds so you can close you eyes and rest after all that flying around? Do they have rocking chairs where us ole geezers can take a nap in the sunshine?

Speaking of age, how old are you in heaven? Are you the age you passed over or transitioned or are you whatever age you were when you meet someone else? How old will that person be? How do you want to remember your mother? How old will she want to remember you?

As us leftover Geezers grow closer to the finish line, we wonder of such things. What is the next step? There are no instructions that clearly explain what happens next, but then again we never read about puberty or adultery or parentry or masculinity or femininity or philosophy or any other meaning of ‘life’. We have already experienced enough to mold who we present to our current surroundings with enough wonder and confusion as before.

If we are looking for answers, there may not be any. Like science and fact is true today, until tomorrow when something else is discovered. This game has no rules.

As we get closer, we may ask more questions hoping to slide into the darkness with a fantasy of wonder. Maybe as I lay in state I’ll get a text message from the half dozen who left this year?