Sunday, May 15, 2016

I Wish….

Woooo! What was that?
Woke up to a blinding light this morning as if someone was doing some sort of sci-fi special effect light show through my window, but it was only sunlight.
Good morning.
So another day starts with a typical routine of putting on a sweater, welcoming the day ritual, a couple of cups of dirty sweet water and dusting off yesterday’s wear. A brush of yesterdays remains then out into the world.
A breakfast for the bunnies and a brief observance of the morning repose before facing the early chill.
A quick turn and with legs pumping getting a feel for a new day and watching the changes from the previous day, my ride begins. The long tall drink of water brunette beauty in black hot pants and tight white sweater was one. Didn’t expect that. Thank you God! Typical neighbors walking their pets or pushing their babies or cutting their grass instead of attending worship were my peers for the day.
A big blue sky with soft drifting white clouds brought back thoughts of last nights dreams and my thought for the day was forming. The tummy temple seemed pretty much the same from yesterday but nothing appealed to my palette so it was just the feed for the yard and my medicine. Rather than the rush-thru line, I waited my turn for Katy and contemplation.
So today’s theme is “I wish….”
Have you ever lay on your back at night and stared up at the stars? You pick a star and say the familiar phrase:
“Star light, Star bright, the first star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight.”

So what would you wish for?

I wish…. I’d followed my dreams?

That is a good wish, but I didn’t have any dreams. I had no desire to become an astronaut or a teacher or bureaucrat or a scientist or computer programmer or librarian or even cowboy. I just went with the flow and when the powers that be asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I answered, “Do I have to grow up?”

I wish…. I could have been famous?
Yes, that sounds good too. You could be on all the magazine covers with wealth and paparazzi and glam and all that fake stuff, but. There is always a ‘but’.
What appears to be wonderful is much more work than most of us can endure. I did try to be a rock and roll star but the business and traveling and lack of monetary rewards and personal conflicts got in the way. Every ‘star’ seems to fade and another takes over.

I wish…. I’d taken a different career path?

Some of that is education and some of that is desire. I could have followed my father’s advice and taken advantage of a semi-famous name to promote myself into an industry of fakery and misguided wealth. Flatulent fame does not achieve self-realization.
As it was, I did it my way and it worked out all right.

I wish…. I could have found God?

First I never knew he was missing, but I think this is the wish most everyone wants. It is not so much about religion. It is a wish to find the meaning of life.
Scientist has tried to explain the evolution but we want more. Why am I here? Does it really matter?
In the end, we write our own answer.

I wish…  I had told her?
Oh I could go down that road many a time. I think our biggest regrets are not saying what we should have said at the time.
In reflection, what did we know? How much experience did we have communicating or understanding our emotions?
So we fumble into relationships and then stumbled and bumbled along for years trying to find that compromise platform to exist with another person.
Then there was that emotional thing? How do you explain you missed that class?
With all the passion and physical connection how do you tell her she cannot bore your child because she is married to Peter Pan?

Yet there are no regrets.

With some luck and the right decisions for all the wrong reasons, life goes on.
Anyone can look back and wonder, but that is not what life is about. We do what we do at the time that we do it and wishing for more is a fantasy.
Age and wisdom do not give us more options, only an experience with a variance of ideas and outcomes. Besides, it is history now.
So the end of the day brings great 45 hits of flip sides that are long gone and many never heard and tomorrow will hopefully bring another light show.

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