You are out there. I may be here? The search is the best part of this game.
I may find you attractive or illusive or endearing and you might find me charming or vulnerable or humorous. We might make some temporary emotional connection, but how long can that last?
If you agree to hang out with me, you can be my sidekick for I will be getting together with my buddies everyday to work on cars or play sports or jam in the garage. You can run and get me drinks and smokes but you will not get my full attention. Save your stories of hair color and clothing choices for your girlfriends for I don’t care. As long as you appear fine to me but not too inviting to other guys, I’ll be happy. I’ll let you wear my stinky jacket to show others to avoid my mark. I’ll take you out for those silly lunches and find “our” song on the jukebox, but my eyes will wander.
When the time comes, I will show you my personal flaws and drown you in physical pleasure. In time we may become friends or our brief passing will be nothing more than a notch on the bedpost or a notation in a diary soon forgotten.
With a lack of alternatives, we may tolerate each other. With shared life experiences we will bond.
Other than children, bills, jobs, and cutting the lawn holding us together, we should have separate likes and hobbies that can interest both of us. Discussions of philosophy, religion, politics, family, death, etc. can have conflicting points-of-view, but if we both respect each other’s opinion we will learn something about the other. The fact of finding another person’s visions interesting makes everyday an adventure and relationships should be hidden treasures of exploration.
To talk to a person who spouts a doctrine of repetition quickly becomes boring and it is time to move on. To talk to a person with original ideas or can expand a conversation in many directions holds your attention and fascination for more.
So there is a person of interest out there somewhere. It is beyond the false profiles and touched-up photos. The list of accolades or accomplishments may somewhat revel an interest but awards don’t show much. Philanthropy to different organizations and foundations only shows having enough money to be a member of the club. Living vicariously through your offspring shows a lack of legacy.
The writers, philosophers, theologians, visionaries, and other great thinkers we acclaim in our history were interesting. Imagine walking on a beach with Jack Kerouac. What would that conversation be? Having lunch with Socrates or Buckminster Fuller or John Lennon. Want to share your fries?
Not saying that everyone is a great mind or well read intellectual marvel but we each have ideas, thoughts, dreams that can become inventions or works of art or can just make a conversation interesting.
I’ve been privileged to know a few. It didn’t matter their fame or position or fortune or lifestyle, in the shared time together, they were just interesting people. Some have been lasting friendships and some were just brief moments in time but all were thoughtful with somewhat surprising possibilities of where the mind can go. Each has enriched my life.
Growing older I reflect on the instances in my life and the people who leave an endearing mark. They all presented me with ideas I never would have thought possible. A person showing me taking a moment of picking up a baby crow was life changing. It didn’t have to be an epiphany moment but in that time and place, their association made a difference.