Sunday, March 15, 2020

On The Plus Side


As everything looks like gloom and doom, remember this will be over and then what?
All these folks who have been sequestered within their rooms for days on end without being to go to the gym or hike the park paths or run in a marathon or jump up and down at a festival are eating.
From what the grocery shelves appear, they will be eating a lot. Sitting on the couch, surfing through Netflix and gorging on cheese doodles and soda pop. No need to put on a suit for work is closed and churches are closed and anywhere you would go to impress someone else by your attire is closed. Stretch pants are the order of the day.
Whether this pandemic last two weeks or two months or two years, these folks will be eating. Instead of working at home, they will be scanning the web or binging the tube or snoozing. When they are not doing any of those things, they will be eating.
And when they finally walk back out into the sunlight, they will be bulbous.
Doctors should stay in touch with these folks to make appointments (when they can come out) to tell them they need professional health test to get them back into swimsuit shape. Exercise professionals need to have the doors open for the obesity crowd to waddle in hoping to lose the pounds from all the food they have downed. The airlines might have to limit the number of seats so the plane gets off the ground, but they haven’t been going anywhere anyway. Getting a seat on the subway will take more than a squeeze. Apparel manufacturers will have to enlarge their patterns for the new rotund customers. Ventilators will be more popular than ever.
Will employees who come back be able to work an entire shift without taking a nap? Will the vending machines be able to provide for the new eating habits?
Good opportunity for insurance agents. Good opportunity for assisted living communities. Good opportunity for plumbers.
Enjoy your carrots and your walks. Good luck.

1 comment:

TripleG said...

Invest in Spanx now!