Thursday, September 29, 2016

Hold It Right Thar Cowboy!


I drink this stuff like water. I put it on everything. Eggs, beef, chicken, salads, fish, pizza, chilies, soups and veggies but I haven’t tried ice cream yet?

No food gets by without being splashed upon with Texas Pete Hot Sauce.

I’ve tried every other variation of spicy sauces but have settled on this one. Not too much garlic or vinegar or overpowering heat but enough to make your head sweat.

I’ve been using this staple of the kitchen ingredients for years and have noticed the changes in the manufacturing. It has become more watered down and there are vast species of different bottles with their own appeal, but I’ve stuck with the ‘original’ version.
 
TW Garner Food Company from North Carolina came out with this concoction in 1929. There was a recommendation of “Mexican Joe” to be the name of the product but Mr. Garner wanted an “American” name for this spice, so “Texas Pete®” was settled on.

So I go to the grocery today to restock when I notice the top of the bottle is different. A yellow plastic wrapper instead of the clear I’ve been used to for years. Also the top looked bigger.

What have they done now?

I double checked that this isn’t some new variation but it was the “Original” and there were no older bottles in sight, so I brought it home.

Being an investigator, I checked the website and this is what they said:
 
“We’ve made it easier to enjoy the bold, balanced flavor of Texas Pete® by adding a convenient flip-top lid,” explains Ann Garner Riddle, the Chief Executive Officer. “Adding a few drops of Texas Pete® to your favorite foods will be the same great experience with our new flip-top cap. You can also remove the top to pour Texas Pete® into a measuring cup or spoon for using our mouthwatering sauce as an ingredient in your recipe. We want everyone to know that while we have improved our bottles, the same great products you’ve come to know and love are inside.”

The new style bottles are now appearing on store shelves nationwide.

So it seems that there will be a pour cap that will provide a faster flow and quicker empting of the bottle than before. I still have some drops left in my old bottle but this weekend is football and pizza and I’ll test out this new packaging wonder along with the hot crushed peppers and the coarse black pepper I always use to adorn my lunch. Maybe I won’t have to shake the bottle so much or maybe it will flood my meal.

I’ll let you know Mr. Garner. Just keep them coming.

Cleaning Out Your Father’s Closet


We all have to do it at one time or another. Clean out the personal items of a relative who has died.
(Note: Mother, Grandparent, Sibling, Child or Spouse can be substituted here.)
Sometimes friends can help separate sentimental objects to be saved and cherished from thrift store rejects. Each piece of clothing or personal effect has it’s own story. These were the everyday arrangements this person wanted to use and save.
There are ties from decades old use. Some are showing the wear and tear of favorites to others still in the boxes given on Father’s day. Some have intricate hand sewn designs and others are simply utilitarian. Take some home to wear or take to the Vintage shop for sale? Wearing your dad’s tie might be a sign of honor or just kinda creepy?
Belts are the same. Socks, worn out shoes, underwear, pajamas are things that should go to the trash. They are a bit too personal to be washed and worn. Shirts and slacks of many different sizes through many different weights are usually 10 years old and out of style for older people don’t keep up with fashion but rather tend to practicality. Jackets and sweaters and sweatshirts generally show the gentle wear of favorites. A sports coat that my mother sewed patches on the sleeves was a go-to standard. Tuxedos and cumberbuns and ruffled shirts somewhat are useful if there are occasions to wear them or passed to the next generation as retro. The same is true for moldy service uniforms. Hats that were all the rage when he was growing up are no longer worn.
Then the bathroom items like toothbrush, shaving mug, two-sided razor, combs and hairbrushes are gathered to decide whether to keep or throw away. Gels, deodorants, and even pills and potions must be cleared out.
Tools, fishing rods, golf clubs, and anything else your dad decided to save but you mother doesn’t want around has to go. In many cases these items clean out her garage and fills up your garage. Sentimental value is costly.
Jewelry has the most heart aching decisions for future homes. These were items cherished by your father. Some are old fraternity pins or school tie clips or badges worn on certain occasions while others are merely shiny worthless bling. His father’s gold watch should be passed down to the eldest son for tradition but the other Timex watches given as Christmas presents that stopped long ago.
Cleaning out your father’s closet can often find surprises. A bundle of secret letters to someone you never heard of. Some intimate photos not expected from your dad. Maybe a trunk of family photos your father had stored away from a previous time, saved but forgotten. Maybe even a gun, but none of these artifacts were ever discussed but were revealed in your excavation.
When you open your closet door and look at all your tee-shirts and funny shirts and rows of shoes and boots, remember someday someone else will have to clean all this out.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

What Is Happening This Week?


Calendars. Remember Calendars? Day-by-day, week-by-week, life’s little actions and appointments and birthdays were recorded as a reminder of what to do each day.
So here is a record of what was reported as important this week.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Let’s see where to begin. Raining like a fuddermuster. BREAKING NEWS!: The guy law enforcement thought might be planting bombs in the upper East was caught in a shootout. The guy who was dressed as a security guard and was hacking people in a mall was shot dead by an off-duty cop. It is implied that both were Muslin so Don Trump can say, “I told you so.” Local police are looking for someone who carjacked a Chinese delivery service killing the driver in the process. Someone is around VCU/Monroe Park area punching folks early in the morning. Note to self: Don’t go into that area at 3AM. A another sexual assault at VCU but no reports of similar occurrences at UofR, W&M, VUU, VA. Tech? Oops! US bombed some Syrian soldiers. Sorry. Pipe leak closes gas stations and creates a state emergency. Thought those pipes didn’t crack? A guy on Southside was shot and left for dead at 1AM. Some dressed up folks gave each other gold statues. (See the best and worst online). And no one cares where the President was born. 858 immigrants were granted citizenship before being deported. Oops again. Seems another person on a lawnmower has been shot dead on Southside and there was a brawl at a chicken place and in a school.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Cloudy, muggy and sort of icky day. BREAKING NEWS!: Brad and Angie are splitting. One restaurant opens and another one closes. State doesn’t have enough cops. Governor is photographed with weed but he doesn’t know what it is. Crane crazes into overpass and clogs up the highway. Some guy grabs someone else’s booty then runs away. Bank CEO is grilled about employee practices and firing over 5,000 of them. Another unarmed black guy shot by cops. Big fire burns in migrant camp on Lesbos. Bankrupt laboratory sues it’s own employees. Streets run red in Bangladesh for ritual slaughter. Relief convoy bombed in Syria. 5000 are without power. Prisoner dies from dehydration. President talks to the UN. A possible suicide of someone jumping off an overpass onto the highway is investigated. The otter dies at Maymont. A late revitalized downtown plaza is finally finished for almost $3M. State is worried about city that wants to be bailed out of its debt might start a trend. Over 100 get Hepatitis A from smoothies.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Cloudy and humid (rain). Protestors clogged highway and shut it down over another police shooting. Woman’s body was found on Franklin Street. $6M renovation project for Monroe Park will begin soon. Cornbread catches fire and closes down the highway. Some more robberies and some more arrest. Stand, sit, kneel, take off hat, hand on heart, fist in the air pledge allegiance to a flag. Another sexual assault reported at VCU. Another pharmaceutical CEO is grilled in Congress. FBI is looking for luggage. High-speed chase ends in Chippenham crash. Someone shot at second night of protest in NC with a state of emergency? Blue Bell ice cream recalls pints.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Partly sunny, partly cloudy, humid (from all the rain but cooler temps). Spike sticks used to stop a really fast driver. State delegate charged with assaulting child. Air Sex Championship National Tour comes to town. $1.2M lawsuit for not paying sewer bills. Creepy clown reports spread. At the Family Dollar a mother with her 2-year-old OD’s. Huge data breach at Yahoo! Hazmat fuel spill clogs up highway. Flipped car clogs up highway. U.S. Marshalls are looking for bad guy. Tulsa police officer charged with manslaughter. Power is out in Puerto Rico. Charlotte protestors are walking laps.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Sunny, mild, perfect. VCU “Make It Real” plans a $750M fundraising drive for endowments and athletics. Motorcycle going 100mph crashes, rider in hospital. State Water Control Board permits Chesterfield power plant to dump coal ash wastewater into the river. State Fair comes to town…. well sort of. $12K was charged at Target on credit card stolen from Pony Pasture. Health Inspector finds dog in coffee shop. Cease-fire is over in Syria. Bombs Away! BREAKING NEWS!: Wife of Charlotte shooting victim release her own video. The National Museum of African American History and Culture will open with three-day festival. Two men have been robbing two-dozen businesses on Southside. Teddy Cruz flip-flops on Trump. Federal judge who convicted now formally dismisses charges against former governor. Another person shot dead on Southside. Four people shot and killed in Burlington, Washington mall and suspect(s) at large.
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Sunny, mildly warm, perfect fall day. VCU buys a $500K plot of land for $2M. North side news: Man shot and another hit by a car. Couple more restaurants close. Another person dies from mall shooting and shooter is still on the lam. Protestors continue their Charlotte walking marathon. Jennifer Flowers will attend the Monday’s debate and no one cares. Charlotte police release videos. Washington State shooter arrested.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Overcast and cool with sprinkles of sunshine. Woman killed in head-on collision. Bunch of folks shot at an Illinois college. 8 shot in Baltimore. Two planes collide in New York. A bunch of folks have been arrested for shootings and other violence. Marlin pitcher dies in boat crash. 2 people hit by car on Southside. Arnie gets a hole for one. A big rock was made a natural park.
Well that is about it for a week. I’m sure there was more news I missed and little details I glossed over, but a lot of stuff happens in a week. These were just highlights that I saw on the normal newscast.

#*%!@?


So what is with all this (expletive deleted) profanity? When did we become all potty-mouthed?
Benjamin K. Bergen, linguist and author of ‘What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains and Ourselves’, explained that the visceral emotions swearing elicits may be due to the unique qualities of swear words, which, he says, are in a league of their own as far as language goes. It’s the type of language we use to invoke and pull out the strongest emotions in other people.
This is because cussing comes from a different part of the brain than other modes of spoken communication. “It’s older, emotion-regulation part of the brain that we share with other primates and mammals,” Bergen said.
Bergen says most profanities belong to one of four thematic categories: Religious concepts; sex and sexual activity; body functions and organs therein involved; and terms for members of other groups, which are really just slurs.
  What is the difference between to cuss, curse or swear?
To swear? 
To swear is to make a solemn statement or promise undertaking to do something or affirming that something is the case. “Maria made me swear I would never tell anyone.”
To swear is to promise, vow, pledge, give one's word, take an oath, undertake, or guarantee. “They swore to marry each other.”
To swear insist, avow, pronounce, declare, proclaim, assert, profess, maintain, contend, emphasize, or stress. “She swore she would never go back.”
To swear expresses confidence in, have faith in, trust, believe in; set store by, value. “We swear by these all-weather tires.”
To swear is to take (an oath). “He was forced to swear an oath of loyalty.”
To swear is to take a solemn oath as to the truth of (a statement). “I asked him if he would swear a statement to this effect”
To swear is to make promise to observe a certain course of action. “I've been sworn to secrecy.”
To swear is to use offensive language, especially as an expression of anger.
To curse?
A curse is any expressed wish that some form of adversity or misfortune will befall or attach to one or more persons, a place, or an object. A “curse” may refer to such a wish or pronouncement made effective by a supernatural or spiritual power, such as a god or gods, a spirit, or a natural force, or else as a kind of spell. A curse can also be called a hex or a jinx. To reverse or eliminate a curse is sometimes called “removal” or “breaking”, and is often believed to require elaborate rituals or prayers.
To cuss?
To use words you would not say to your grandmother.
To say words that will get your mouth washed out with soap.
To use in conversation to another person who will probably give you a black eye.
To show you limited vocabulary.
To abbreviate a word by substituting asterisks for letters.
So the question comes back, why do we use these words? The words are offensive and utterly distasteful to everyone, so why don’t we change our habits?
Hit you hand with a hammer and say, “Wham-bam-Mary-had-a-little-lamb”
If your football team misses a pass say, “They are playing like a bunch of kittens”
Get back to an insulting situation by saying, “You are not going to monkey with me”
Turn the words around so it will keep the same cadenza like, “It is raining like a fuddermucker”
Give it a try. You might just make people smile?

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Ghost Town



They say, “You can never go back home.” What if you never left?
When I arrived this little rebuilt town was still the capitol of the commonwealth. It was a railway hub producing cigarettes, banking and the usual businesses surrounding a center of post-war posterity. Churches and schools peppered the area while Jim Crow still divided the Broad Street. Real estate was spreading into agriculture creating suburbia. Automobiles were being sold as fast as refrigerators and televisions. 
We stood, placed our hands on our hearts and pledged alliance to the flag every morning. We also hid under our desk to protect us from nuclear bombs. We walked to school and played on jungle gyms at recess. In the evenings we road our bikes around the neighborhood and rang the doorbells to Trick or Treat.
Each change of schools lost so many familiar faces and introduced strangers. College became the first reason to leave town, but I stayed. Marriage, employment, family were all good reasons to leave home and travel to another location, but I stayed. White flight drove people to the counties, but I stayed.
Some return and are astounded with the changes, but I’ve seen it happen day-by-day. Still I’m at awe to wander the streets I once knew and see them as if I’d traveled to the other side of the world.
My small college has turned into a university and is taking over midtown. Giant department stores that were the occasion to visit the bustling downtown area wearing white gloves and view the trains in the display windows are gone. No one ever explained why the escalators that were so much fun to play on got thinner on the third floor? More traffic required digging up the trolley tracks. Old limestone storefronts were covered in aluminum and they moved to the malls, leaving empty promises and forgotten wishes. Former tobacco warehouse have been transformed to swank condos and a slave disembark area now holds expensive bistros and riverfront high-rise hotels and offices. The schools are the same but the hospitals have all moved.
The city even annexed part of the land across the river, but I never crossed the river except for vacations. The ballpark was expanded and an entertainment area built but the feel of the city never truly changed. Some temporary housing neighborhoods were torn down for expensive condos while others turned into public housing. Other areas have not been touched. A ribbon of concrete has been wound around the city but the railroads still rumble at night with coal to keep the lights on.
As with any neighborhood one wishes to live, I found a spot that is quiet, comfortable and somewhat crime free. Neighbors’ come and go like old school classmates. Families and fences grow as fast as the trees. 
When I see the historical images of what was, I can relate to most of them. If you live long enough, you get old.
The place where the cool kids hung out for ice cream, the old dance hall over a bowling alley that didn’t standup to the test of time, the drive-in where the windows fogged up, the corner restaurant with the best double-cheese pizza, a row of movie theaters to watch Sunday matinee monster movies, and many more are only memories now.
Still the summers are as hot as I had forgotten and the winters are getting colder. The birds still wake you in the springtime and the full moon lights up the silent nights. Rocking on a porch with a silent conversation to yourself you can wave at the neighbors not knowing their names.
It is a ghost town.
Even if you don’t leave you can’t go home.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Avoidance


Avoidance can be a self-preservation technique. We avoid things for safety and we avoid pain and suffering. We try to.
We avoid getting too close to the edge in fear of falling. We avoid fire and sharp objects. We tend to shy away from gunshots.
We have become fanatical about avoiding. We shade ourselves from the sun and exam our food as if it is all poison. We give wide berth to dangerous animals and steer clear of lightning.
We lower our survival tendencies to get doctor exams and cannot avoid the daily stress of bills, family, taxes, work and other elements that we must deal with to live.
We can avoid traffic by finding a different route, but we can’t avoid love. We can teach ourselves not to hate, but there is no avoidance of love. There is no way around it when the love bugs bites. We can be awkward and shy about discussing our feelings with the other person, but we can avoid our attraction for whatever reason. It fills our dreams and becomes the air we breathe. We may try to avoid the temptation with the possibility of rejection, yet love is a drug and should be enjoyed and cherished while you have it.
One more thing before I go. Death! Sorry you can’t avoid it. It is inevitable. No one gets out alive.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Let’s Play A Game


It is called Conversation.
No it is not an app so you can stop Googling. It is not software to download but there are some requirements to agree to.
Hopefully this was taught to you growing up but with many variations and tongues. Many speech patterns, inflections and vocabulary may differ; it is still the best way to communicate.
Perhaps in school the art of arranging words into sentences using nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs along with those pesky dangling participles was learned. Now thoughts and ideas and reactions could be passed to another in a coherent structure.
While some like to follow the proper talk and listen and reply others might just want to yell and scream without remorse.
Ideas and thoughts can be shared and both participants become more aware of themselves and each other. It is done all the time. Pillow talk keeps many couples together.
Roll the dice and take your chances.
So put away the electronics, sit up straight and face the person you want to have a conversation with. Look them in the eye and take a breath. It may be as difficult as flirting or asking the most important question or it may be three little words than confirm your commitment to one another.
Conversation can bring laughter and tears and revel wonders of ideas without any emojis.
Don’t put this on your Twitter feed.