Sunday, December 31, 2017

On The Road

“Hello Susie?”
“No, this is her mother. I’ll get her. Susie!”
With hand over the receiver…
“She’s going to get her.”
Giggling muted laughter…
“Yes, who is this?”
Giggling muted laughter…
“Susie, I found your phone number on a pair of undergarments that were…er…”
“…they were thrown onto the stage and…”
Girlish giggling on phone…
“This is Hash Tagg and we were wondering?....”
“Oh My God!!!”
“…if you would like to come and…”
“ …if you have a few friends who would like to….”
“I can’t believe this. YOU are Hash Tagg of the Slag?”
“, yes and we wanted to know…”
Giggling muted laughter…
“ I had to come home early but it was like the most awesome show and you and Skatch and Mutton were like so awesome, I mean, you were like amazing awesome, I mean, like  I can’t even hear my ears now, you guys were like the best and…”
“Yeah, Susie, but we need an address or a place to meet you and your friends so we can party?”
“Oh yeah, sure, and I’ll call Carol and Donna and Betty and Henry and…”

“Ah, forget Henry. Why don’t you meet us at the ‘Pork & Beef’ next to the highway?”
Giggling muted laughter…
“Sure! I gather up the crowd and we’ll be like there in…”
“Make it quick because we will have to be moving on early…”
Giggling muted laughter…

Yes, boys and girls, that is how the shaggy lads would try and find a date as they passed through a strange town. Rather desperate but to the local girls they were a step up from the local jocks who played with their cars all day with their guy buddies and wanted to get randy under the bleachers at night.
Due to shady contracts and crooked management, the boys would have to be moving on to another cheap roadside motel with a broken ice machine leaving behind broken hearts, unwanted pregnancies, STD, broken glass and debt. Poor young lassies would find these ‘rock stars’ were no better than their boyfriends and maybe didn’t smell as good. Would they have gone to the prom? 
Did those rock warriors find love and affection while wandering up and down the east coast dive circuit to get paid in flat beer and lost guitars? Those who did stayed or tried to bring their chick along which broke up the camaraderie and so the band broke up. Where are you going to find a replacement drummer in Summerville, SC in July?
Once back home, these exhausted lads found their stay-at-home girlfriends had fallen for another wannabe music hero wanderers who stole their passion while away.
Garage bands ‘on-the-road’ was not easy, but as the long hair turns white and a few members are lost into space or the dirt, it was a movie without cameras.

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