Sunday, December 5, 2010

Naughty or Nice

OK, Santa. I know you are busy and all of that, but what is this about the “naughty” and “nice” thing?

Sure you’ve got a long list and you are checking it twice. Frankly I think your elves are working on a spreadsheet or a massive database with all our information on it that would make FaceBook look like scribbles on paper. With all your resources you probably have Santacam in every home following our every moment.

Now “naughty” according to my dictionary is unruly, disobedient, lacking propriety or indelicate (thou shall not be delicate?) while “nice” is enjoyable, pleasant, appealing or attractive, courteous and polite, but it is also excessively fussy and fastidious, showing discernment and subtlety.

So my question is, how much “nice” do you have to have to over come the “naughty”?

Sometimes when I’m naughty, I’m nice. Some say when I try to be nice, I’m naughty.

Santa, I plead with you, what is the measure? How do I grade my naughty as oppose to nice to predict if I will get a lump of coal or a wonderful, colorful present full of wonders and joy.

I’ve gotten enough coal, but I thought it was a gift for being green. I know you have given me plenty of gas for my minimal carbon footprint so I just want to know, have I been nice enough?

Sorry to bother you on such a matter when I know you are busy, so you can delegate my request to some elf or helper or such. You have my phone and email address, so just shoot me a line.
I only have a few weeks to make it up.

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