Friday, May 24, 2013

Oh God

Have been following the discussion about the American Boy Scouts accepting “openly gay” boys into the troop. Now I was a scout. My troop was sponsored by our Baptist church and seemed like a normal phase for young lads to go through. The Boy Scouts were sort of a mini-military organization with uniforms and badges and salutes and all under the guiles of religion.
The Boy Scouts of America is the nation’s foremost youth program of character development and values-based leadership training.

Scouting will continue to:
* Offer young people responsible fun and adventure
* Instill in young people lifetime values and develop in them ethical character as expressed in the Scout Oath and Law
* Train young people in citizenship, service and leadership
* Serve America’s communities and families with its quality, values-based

The scouts were fine with me. We had organized gatherings with competent leaders who taught us how to tie knots and start fires and track animals and fish. All things urban boys are not exposed to. We all looked the same and followed the instructions and got new blue then brown then green costumes. Every move was rewarded with a patch our mothers sewed on a sash that was worn probably before the church and the other scouts. 

Scout Law
A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent (just like what you would want in a marriage or how you wished your dog would behave)

Every year groups of scouts would gather in some large field for a jamboree with tents and cookouts and activities that showed out strengths or skills or just bonding with other boys.
That gets me to the first point.
I know everyone had “don’t ask, don’t tell” and then coming “out of the closet” conflicts about the “gay” subject.
At the time I was a scout, there was never any talk of sexual preference. There was never any talk of sex at all. We were all just camping out and following instructions and getting rewards while looking like a cross between a cowboy and a soldier.  All I know was that back in the day, boys would wrestle and horseplay and sometimes touch each other in what is now inappropriate manners and nothing was ever said.
Maybe we were caught up in the regimentation of the scouts or maybe we just didn’t talk about it. It was just the way boys grew up.
Actuality no one ever talked about it because it was taboo and was swept under the rug. It really didn’t bother us boys not knowing who was gay and who was not. The only people who presented themselves differently were flamboyant and outrageous and drew attention to themselves hearing the familiar degrading remarks of  Qu**r or Ho*o or F*ggot as a response to their actions. The rest of us all looked alike in our uniforms. No one could tell if you were rich or poor or protestant or Jewish or could speak French or play the violin.
Also my time in Boy Scouts was when I was too young and naïve enough not to be influenced by what I didn’t understand or heard about.

Then I saw another story about “atheist boys” joining the scouts. Wooo! Now that is a whole different matter. Read (below) the Boy Scouts Oath:

Boy Scouts oath

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
And to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
Mentally awake, and morally straight.

But then again there is that pesky Pledge Allegiance to the Flag that we learn when we are kids.

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Then there is that motto we print on every dollar bill.

“In God we trust" was adopted as the official motto of the United States in 1956 as an alternative or replacement to the unofficial motto of E pluribus unum, (out of many, one) adopted when the Great Seal of the United States was created and adopted in 1782.

So what are the Boy Scouts of America going to do with the Atheist Scouts?

"Dumb All Over"
Whoever we are
Wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It's gonna take a lot more
Than tryin' to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether
They call it THE EARTH
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
'Cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near'n far
Dumb all over
Black 'n white
People, we is not wrapped tight
Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religious fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin' the Bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
'Bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don't believe in the book
We got over here
You can't run a race
Without no feet
'N pretty soon
There won't be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won't blow up
'N disappear
It'll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)
You can't run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state
Hooray! That's great
Two legs ain't bad
Unless there's a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (Get down!)
Not his, not hers (but what the hey?)
The Good Book says:
"It's gotta be that way!"
But their book says:
With whips 'n chains
'N hand grenades. . ."
Have another and another
Our Cod says:
"There ain't no other!"
Our Cod says
"It's all okay!"
Our God says "This is the way!"
It says in the book:
"Burn 'n destroy. ..
'N repent, 'n redeem
'N revenge, 'n deploy
'N rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
'Cause they don't go for what's in the book
'N that makes 'em BAD
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
To poof them out of existence
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise OURGOD
("Cause he can really take care of business!")
And when his humble TV servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It's okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
'Cause if we don't do it,
We ain't gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book you're using at the time...
Can't use theirs. . .it don't work . . .it's all lies...Gotta use mine...)
Ain't that right?
That's what they say
Every night...
Everyday. ..
Hey, we can't really be dumb
If we're just following
God's Orders
Hey, let's get serious...
God knows what he's doin'
He wrote this book here
An'the book says:
He made us all to be just like Him,"
If we're dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(An' maybe even a little ugly on the side)  Frank Zappa

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