I Broke The Tummy Temple

Old dogs can learn new tricks.

After a day of constant rain I finally found a clear spot to wheel out to the Tummy Temple to restock. Another lovely greeter was helping the unaware of the technology advancements to “Scan, Bag, and Go” (oh and pay for) with the remote control devices but I’ve already figured it out. Scan the barcode on your shopper’s card (now that I’m a registered shopper) and pick up stuff and point the laser at the item and drop it in the grey bag.

Yet I’m finding some flaws in the system.

One is I’m not used to walking around with this handheld device is in my hand. I don’t have a smart phone so I’m unacquainted with check my palm every few minutes to see if Aunt Sally’s cat had kittens or if Timmy was asking Louise to the prom. So I’ve learned just to prop it into the coffee cup holder in the wire basket because I also don’t need constant caffeination. 

I wander about my usual paths seeing that the milk is where the ice cream used to be and the eggs have moved to make way for the orange juice and I still can’t find the artichoke hearts.

My second revelation of this new technology (I know they are watching me, probably have face recognition) is the light handheld remote control can go home with you. After doing all my scan and pay and wheeling out, I passed through the security bars and NO sirens or lights or whistles or burley guards tackling me to retrieve stolen property. I suddenly realized I had not removed the handheld scanner and immediately turned around and back through the silent doors to put it gently in the “Place scanner here” rack then made a quick exit before the cops arrived.

Today’s discovery of “What could go wrong with “Scan, Bag and Go” was to load three six-packs of adult beverages into the gray bag then walk to the self-check-out-do-it-yourself finalization station and point the laser light at the designated barcode below the screen (as instructed) and wait for the screen to refresh showing all the purchases for final approval and payment procedure. It’s Easy! It’s Fun! It didn’t work.

Instead I get a window that acts like I’ve never done this before and wants me, the customer who has followed all the rules have failed the test. Immediately Chris and CJ (who has the best smile) come with questioning faces. I’ve broken the system.

CJ takes my handy dandy handheld device and I pick up the products again to rescan on the checkout scanner. Again I need verification that I’m old enough to drink 3.2 beers without a pat down. The big screen shows my order wrong and it takes a few minutes for multiple screens and tapping keypads until I can finally walk out with my order.

I thank everyone for my “Assistance Needed” and wonder if you just buy beer without a can of beans, does that not compute?

Here is another tip, but don’t tell where you heard it. That ‘free’ gray bag they give you, is scanned by the checkout scanner. It knows how many items are inside and how many items you have scanned. Check your receipt. Those Tummy Temple folks are pretty sneaky. If you don’t scan an item and don’t put it in the gray bag, well you have a FREE gift.

I’ll have to send a note to Kyle and tell her what the flaws are in her system that I’ve found so far. Tomorrow I’ll ask for another gray bag. That will confuse the scanners.

Your continuous daily shopper and faithful Tummy Temple member, I will enjoy the adventure.