Ring-Around-The-Rosie

Here I am at the parking lot again, coming in the back way to avoid the ice and the 4-way traffic and before I can lock up, enjoy the Ring-Around-The Rosie game in front of me. Autos of all make and sizes, some shiny new and some junkyard old, circling the lanes at a two mph pace looking for a gap to squeeze into.

What should be expected when the “S” word is spoken and my burg goes into apocalypse panic for bread and milk? Why do so many people drink milk during a snowstorm? Maybe it is all the missing cereal boxes?

Hopefully the empty produce shelves the congregation is eating better or just getting the fixings for a giant pot of whatever you call that cooking on the stove in a slow burn while gorging on chips and downing all the wine reserves.

It is one of my favorite days watching the panic of the deacons trying to handle the masses.

With divine deliverance, I found the last zip basket. There were no scanners so I had to get acclimated to the crowds to find one of the technological wonders to record my nourish needs. Having already stocked up and ahead of the white stuff coming down, I could move around empty boxes, slow couples checking their list, folks who must stop to answer their phones, families with bored children and the usual ‘deer-in-headlights’ stares of wonder at America’s abundance. Even though everything is labeled to have been checked by the government for quality assurance…. Have they?

Peanuts! My first stop is the ‘snack food’ aisle, but was that a wrong turn. Sneak out and go around to wherever I’m not blocked in. Like finding the right lane on the highway, get behind a basket that seems to be moving until it stops. Sometimes pull over to the side and watch.

Back and forth I wander probably walking five miles in a never-ending weave.

Even for my simple pleasure of entertainment, I find a spot to pick up one of the few remaining cans of peanuts. As I scan the bar-code and place it into my grey bag I wonder, “Why are peanuts so popular during a snow storm; like milk?”

No venture to the Tummy Temple is complete without a stop at the adult beverage aisle. There are still a few cans left so I place them into my basket and head for the exit.

Point the red laser at the screen and wait for the technology to acknowledge me. I always wave at the camera but they never respond. Press the payment button from instructions to a ‘cherished customer’ and await a flashing light and announcement of “Help is on the way”. CJ is working today so maybe I can see her smiling face…

….but wait!  

Select payment, insert and OK, and don’t forget your receipt. Process finished.

Being a good lad, I follow the instructions, place my used scanner into the used scanner rack and follow the wagon train out the sliding doors without bells or whistles.

So it is a snow day and I got FREE beer, but I had to pay for the peanuts.