The Joker

I know you guys love these stories and since I’ve got time on my hands, here is the latest adventure to the Tummy Temple.

From what I’d heard and read, tomorrow was to be a rainy day, so I had to take my chances to venture out from the chili and Philly cheezesteaks had been somewhat devoured and again the cupboard was bare of substances for the coming weather event.

In other words, I had to drag my sorry butt out of bed and get to the store for food.

I’d put off shaving and washing (including dishes) as I do during these dark days of winter but now it was time to rejoin civilization. The water was warm as it hit my crusty body and I wondered why it turned black going down the drain. A good long shower does refresh the spirit and I wonder why I don’t do that more often?

A brief selection of what is available in clothing since everything else is in the wash and I wander out into the world after too many days of seclusion.

The air is fresh and the body needs some movement so a longer than normal venture through a silent neighborhood is necessary to get the brain and body copacetic.

The familiar parking space was available as another biker resting on the bench nodded as if a long lost brother. The room of wire transportation devices was empty but just then a girl with purple hair emerged from the bowels of the checkout and I asked for her cart. Oh gracious me, I’d ask for her hand too, but I did get a smile.

Whaarooom! I was in business. Zip over to the blueberries and get two of the big packs then head back to the salad stuff for I’d been dreaming about salad stuff after all the fatty meats I’ve devoured in the past couple of days. Get the salad fixings I’d dreamed about and head back into the depth of the shopping experience.

Today seems to be more old ladies day. It is Tuesday and that was the ‘ole folks’ day so we could get a 5% discount, but they don’t do that anymore and still they are bused in on Tuesday. Canes and scooters and as slow as electric football players, the aisles are filled with widows and spinsters.

Luckily with my zip cart I can zoom down between the walls of cereal and pasta, realizing I’m blocked by the unmovable and can turn back to find another way out.

Over in the frozen foods this nicely elderly lady turns to me in her slow pace and asked something about Stouffers cream chip beef stuff. I figured she had confused me with someone who worked here and pointed her to the next aisle over. Then this nice old lady with a lipstick covering that would make the Joker jealous started telling me about how she likes it for breakfast and I wasn’t sure if she was flirting with me or just was looking for someone to talk to. It was time to move on. No offense to you nice old lady but I is not Batman.

Less than the long lines that crept out the other day, I avoided George and Wesley for a new guy who seemed to be losing customers. “Sir you might not want to wait” or something like that was the warning from this newbie facing a pile of repetition on his belt and a lady shuffling coupons. I could have diverted my attention to another line but I was curious what was going on here. It seemed the woman was buying bulk items and using coupons and another bulk and more coupons and…. well, it was taking awhile to move the product out the door. I eyed the operation and felt sorry for the kid trying to please the customer with all the confusion. A supervisor stepped up and observed the activity. She then commented about watching the coupons and started asking the customer about her purchase selection. The customer quickly pushed the other items aside and scooted out the door.

I had to laugh somewhat as the staff discussed the misuse of coupons and tried to ease the tense atmosphere.

Back home refreshed by the exercise I had a chance to talk to my girls and neighbors. In the long run, a moment in time, but it was fun and exciting and I came out safely on the other side.