Proceeded by…

I try not to read obituaries but a friend of mine recently died and I just check it out to see if it was a spoof on the social media or true. It was true.

Reading the list of names of family I notice there is a format to these obituaries. Name, rank and serial number followed by accolades and social standing then when the remains will be interred.

There is this separate list of people with some sort of relationship to the deceased who preceded him or her in the ascent to the great beyond. It is usually a parent or spouse or maybe a child. What about a pet? How about grandparents? What about their parents? If you want to follow the ancestry line the obituary could be several pages long.

If that is not enough follow list the survivors? These people with close ties to the dearly departed that are waiting in line until their number is called. This list could contain relatives, work associates, neighbors, merchants, cellmates, lovers, ex-partners, bosses, priest, doctors, etc. Why hasn’t the newspapers pushed for these lines of type that increases revenue? The newspaper would weight 40 lbs and have to be delivered with a forklift.

Sure all the phrases of ‘went to be with the Lord’ or ‘called to eternal rest’ or ‘departed this life’ are all swell but I fear the one that say “Were surrounded by family”.

Maybe you do ascend up into the clouds with wings, but do you really want all those folks around you while you take you last breathe? Where were all these folks two months ago? Just like the ones in white, they are there for the money.

How many will come to visit your gravestone?