Monday, October 19, 2020

What happens if Santa gets Covid-19?

 


Christmas has always been the time to end the year and cheer up. Family and friends gather, good food and drink, presents for the kids and snow to make everyone happy.

In this time of uncertainty, what happens if Santa is quarantined?

Santa isn’t Superman. He is just a jolly old elf living in self isolation until he and his magical sled covers the globe in one night bringing gifts to good little girls and boys.

He wears gloves but the beard pokes out from under the mask. He hangs around at the factory with those little elves and who knows where they’ve been? Mrs. Clause could have picked something up at Trader’s Joes or Rudolph could have been a bit too cheerful and close down at the Elk’s Lodge getting his nose all shiny and bright?

This is a strange virus and we don’t know everything about it (as if we did about any other) so the fat man in the red suit might not be showing any signs of symptoms…. Yet!

Do you want your kid to crawl up on his lap and whisper in his ear? Do you want him to hug your kid? Do you want him to invade your home, coughing and choking on fireplace ashes? Would you leave him a plate of cookies and milk so he can lower his mask?

With the mail being overwhelmed with voting ballots, Santa’s letters might never make it anyway. Santa has let his phone service drop due to all the extended car insurance robo calls and there is no visitation allowed in the North Pole Scientific Research and Medical Center.

UPS, Amazon Prime, GrubHub and all the other couriers are working their tail feathers off trying to satisfy our boredom of not working, not commuting, not dining out, not going to the game, not hanging out at the local brewery or traveling to another town to do the same.

Looks like Little Timmy might not get that shiny new bike (even if you could find one) and Sally’s doll collection will not include a Judge Ginsburg for they are all sold out. Don’t worry if the new iPhone isn’t here because neither is 5G.

We still have the election, Halloween and Thanksgiving to worry about before Christmas and if there is no Santa this year?

Sorry kids but he is a made-up character just like the Easter bunny and Jesus.

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