Sunday, April 21, 2013

What About Andy?

Remember Andy? Sure, Andy is the sci-fi writer who can’t get any of his work published. Well he now has a new title. No, it is not the “best selling author” or the “NY Times top ten list” or the “most popular fictional reading of all times” or even the “silly children’s story about weird monsters and vampires and 1920’s explorers in Florida”, but is now a “sleeping counselor”.
Now counselors that I remembered were from camp or school, but there are also counselors in justice. These are experts in their field who can counsel others on their questions and recommend a path to resolve their questions.
All I remember from camp counselors were they made sure we didn’t kill each other and got to bed on time. The school counselor only tried to direct us into a proper field of employment with whatever educational abilities we showed.
Then there is a “sleeping counselor”. What do they do? Do they know more about sleep than anyone else? Can they counsel you on how to sleep better? Which side should we sleep on? How many pillows should we use? Should we sleep on firm or soft mattresses? What do we do if we snore? What can we do with sleep apnea? Can a sleeping counselor help form better dreams or is that up to the dream weaver? Will the sleeping counselor make up the bed in the morning or change the sheets or turn out the light?
In the long run I guess a writer who has the professional education and instruction on how to properly write the fantasies in his head must forge on. Then again he’s got to make a living. He has to pay the mortgage and the car payment and the grocery bills while exploring the childhood fantasies that belong to a teenager.
Still we know the “sleeping counselor” is all about selling a mattress.  Like selling a car or a refrigerator the question is would you like the 848 models that has double spring settings or the 9000 model that has pillow top soft texture? Would you like bed bugs with that?
Good luck to Andy. Or was it Henry? Or maybe it was Melvin? Well anyway we hope you find some success in your new career. Maybe, just maybe, some publisher or reviewer will view your writing and make you famous. Maybe the general public will find your words so interesting that your writing will make the best sellers list. There is still time.

1 comment:

Art said...

Well, I've been through a number of tests (pulmonary and PFT, and Methacholine challenge, and a sleep study, and I can tell you that during the sleep study I "slept with" two sleep counselors. After all, have a CPAP, and sleep MUCH better...