Saturday, July 8, 2017

Do You Wanna?

There is a lot of talk about teaching “consent” in sex education classes.
First of all I’ve never taken a ‘sexual education’ class. I had to learn as many generations before me of trial by fire.
I agree someone ought to tell these kids what is happening to their bodies but when I was growing up religion didn’t want you talking about it. Some parents had ‘the talk’ but it was usually for girls because their body changes were obvious. The boys just had to stumble around and notice the change to their jib and get boners.
Movies, magazines, novels and gossip was the knowledge base of getting background knowledge of ‘what to do’ when it became that time.
Consent is asking permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Consent is agreement, assent, acceptance, approval, approbation, permission, authorization, sanction, leave, backing, endorsement, support, thumbs up, green light, OK!
We ask consent to borrow the keys to the car (does that still happen)? We ask consent to borrow the neighbor’s lawnmower? We ask consent to marry someone.
From my experience fumbling around after watching the idols of the silver screen as training films on technique and positive results. The girls were learning along the way too.
I somehow believe the difference was respect. Even though the movie stars showed lots of cleavage and tight pants and were provocative, even in the Bible films, the lead male would always respect the strong feminine figure.
Even the first kiss was slow to get to and awkward to start with. Practice makes perfect, so you kept at it. As the blood pressure rouse and chemistry was pumping through the bodies becoming intertwined in a mix of a wrestling holds and a tickle fest the common quest was exploring sexuality.
Whether we were totally aware of the consequences or just following the path many others had traveled there was consent. Sure there was peer pressure to lose your virginity with fake promises of love and partnership and futures that will never come. Relationships are difficult to construct in the backseat of a car.
In the day there was pressure for the girl to give into the wishes of the boy but when there was resistance, her wishes were respected and the grouping stopped. When there was no resistance there was no verbal asking but it was consent.
Fully understand the term of harassment and rape but again it comes back to the respect for one another.
Will be curious how ‘consent’ is taught and if the kids understand personal responsibility.

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