Saturday, January 7, 2017

Dead To Me

You know those people who are like ear-worms? You can’t get them out of your head. They may just be a distant memory but they won’t go away.
Could be an unresolved situation or an unanswered question but they pop up in your thoughts. While washing the dishes or cutting the grass or binge watching zombies dying or some other mundane event, this or that person wanders into your mind and you keep milling over and over again unfinished sentences.
Your shrink would probably tell you to do something like start whistling a tune or focus on a color or even pinch yourself to break the pattern and snap out of it. You logically know they won’t answer you emails or chats or snail mail or text messages but you still wonder.
The person has some sort of emotional hold on you and as long as they exist, you will ponder “What if…” or “Could it be…” or some other pipe dream trying to rewrite history. The thought of ‘some day’ will continue to bug you and drag you down.
So my New Year’s resolution is to make these people dead to me.
No, I’m not going to have them bumped off but realistically who cannot ever answer your questions or resolve a problem except dead people. Those folks are gone, finished, kaput and you’ll not get another word out of them.
If you consider that person is six feet under you can forget about that late night phone call or the unexpected knock on the door. That ship has sailed and it is time to fill your head with more nonsense and silliness.
Just like any other dead folk, you won’t totally forget them. The mention of their name may pop up now and then and you can have that smile that only one other knows, but they are dead. So rather than be frustrated with carrying this emotional luggage, I throw some dirt on it and will move on to the New Year.
A few I may dance on their graves.

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